A physician I talked to wanted me to get into medication but I said HELL NO mostly cause I know I can do this without their drugs. Drugs will just make things worse in the long run I believe.
Have you ever tried medication? Many people do report significant improvements after figuring out a working medication regimen, although this can take a lot of trial and error.
Now I don't even want to take counselling just cause I am afraid to talk to people about my issues.
What's causing this fear of opening up to professionals? Have you had prior bad experiences, or...? Have you been through any treatment programs in the past?
If medication and therapy are plainly not options right now, there are still a few other things you could look at. One is online self-guided therapy programs. You mentioned in another thread about self-hatred being a problem for you, and here you've mentioned depression. So, you could go to Google and search for self-guided treatment programs to address depression symptoms and underlying self-hatred.
Also, I've heard a lot of positive feedback from people about using ChatGPT as a therapist. Overwhelmingly positive feedback and very little in the way of negative feedback, actually. (I've never tried it, myself.)
Doing this without the guidance and accountability that a professional can provide would mean you'd need a lot of self-discipline to take a real shot at it this way.
You could also see if there are any local peer support groups running. For these, you might find them on Google, or otherwise check with local mental health clinics. Some of these groups are for drop-ins and run without the need for referrals or scheduling or any conjunctive treatments at all and thus would require no commitments on your part. (But this depends on local availability and accessibility.)