Venting I need to die

[princeseadove]

Trying to nap, but I can't. I need to die. My friends, I don't have any. Just a bunch of liars, of no good liars. Someone wrongs me, horribly, exclude me from the group, and it's all of a sudden okay because they are "good" now?? Well they sure as hell werent fucking good to me! At all! And it's more than once! But if it was someone else, now people give a fuck. It's all just lies! Every single one of them! Just feeding me lies and lies, and all they do is lie. How fucking dare they! Say they are care about my creations, when they can't even give a damn! It's all just lies! They don't care about me. Just that I give them unconditional attention and love. I make everything one sided. Everything is one sided! They all lie, they all lie! They were so so mean to me before. Now they claim they love me? Now they claim regret? I don't your FUCKING regret! I don't need any of it! I don't need Your love! I don't need your gifts! I don't want any of it! I want to die! I can't do this anymore! I can't! I'm so tired! For the people to comfort me all of them, to have gutted me! I don't want it anymore! Leave me alone! Enough, enough, enough! They only care for themselves! They only care for the hurt that might happen if I do die. None of their affection is real! None, absolutely none of it. There is no celebration or love. I want them to leave me alone!