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deathgripsme

deathgripsme

There is another world
Oct 26, 2021
117
I just woke up. I haven't eaten anything for 10 hours. I will do it in roughly 6 to 7 hours. I took some Lyrica and Bupropion. I bought my SN from reputable sources, but if I've got the strenghth, I'll do a blood test.
I wish you eternal peace friend, I will soon be joining you on the other side ❤️
 
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trianglesplayhouse

trianglesplayhouse

Member
Nov 14, 2021
80
I just woke up. I haven't eaten anything for 10 hours. I will do it in roughly 6 to 7 hours. I took some Lyrica and Bupropion. I bought my SN from reputable sources, but if I've got the strenghth, I'll do a blood test.
I wish you luck. Imo I think fasting for that long is unnecessary but it will definitely help absorption a lot.
 
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Teddybear

Teddybear

Specialist
Nov 20, 2021
335
I sincerely hope you can still read this. I respect your right to do with your life as you please, but if you write:
"I would like to leave some well written witty note or post to you, …" then that indicates to me, that your primary problem is, that you got no one to talk to. Don't kill yourself because of one bad weekend.

I made up my mind a long time ago, and I don't care about explaining it to anyone, the day its gonna happen or "leaving a well written note" about it. Its not something I am proud of or would advise to *anybody* else. Death sucks - but life does sometimes, too.

But to anyone who says "I have to die *that* day" I say: Just let it pass and see what happens.
 
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trianglesplayhouse

trianglesplayhouse

Member
Nov 14, 2021
80
I sincerely hope you can still read this. I respect your right to do with your life as you please, but if you write:
"I would like to leave some well written witty note or post to you, …" then that indicates to me, that your primary problem is, that you got no one to talk to. Don't kill yourself because of one bad weekend.

I made up my mind a long time ago, and I don't care about explaining it to anyone, the day its gonna happen or "leaving a well written note" about it. Its not something I am proud of or would advise to *anybody* else. Death sucks - but life does sometimes, too.

But to anyone who says "I have to die *that* day" I say: Just let it pass and see what happens.
Well you don't know their life story. If they sincerely believe that they want to take their life today, then it's their choice.

It's not that I want them to, of course I don't, however I understand the pain it takes to not want to live another goddamn second.

-- Hey, I think you should try and leave a note behind if you can. It could be somewhat entertaining especially if you want it to be witty.
 
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oneweekleft

oneweekleft

Member
Oct 18, 2021
56
I sincerely hope you can still read this. I respect your right to do with your life as you please, but if you write:
"I would like to leave some well written witty note or post to you, …" then that indicates to me, that your primary problem is, that you got no one to talk to. Don't kill yourself because of one bad weekend.

I made up my mind a long time ago, and I don't care about explaining it to anyone, the day its gonna happen or "leaving a well written note" about it. Its not something I am proud of or would advise to *anybody* else. Death sucks - but life does sometimes, too.

But to anyone who says "I have to die *that* day" I say: Just let it pass and see what happens.
I sincerely want to die. I just wanted to leave you and my family a well written note to make sure, I didn't act on impulse. I also would like to end my life with a joke or a witty comment to make it a bit easier for me and others, but it turned out: I am the joke.

I'm preparing this since September. It's now 11 am where I live, I took some meds half an hour ago. I'll start taking the first meds (painkillers) one hour befor taking the SN. That's going to be 6 pm latest. I actually wanted it to do during the day, but I feel I want it to be dark outside.

Thank you for caring, you are kind persons, but I'm definitely over the hill. It's just not a pleasant feeling to know you won't exist anymore in a few hours, as much as you hate being alive.
 
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trianglesplayhouse

trianglesplayhouse

Member
Nov 14, 2021
80
What's your timezone?
 
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Teddybear

Teddybear

Specialist
Nov 20, 2021
335
@oneweekleft - Quote: "I also would like to end my life with a joke or a witty comment to make it a bit easier for me and others, but it turned out: I am the joke"

PLEASE: Don't kill yourself!! You suffer from low self-esteem, a condition that most likely stems from a messed up childhood. In any case, it got NOTHING to do with your actual worth as a human being.

You need to change your social environment, get to surround hou with less frustration and more yhings that bring fun into your world. I can see that you care a lot(!) about what others think about you. BUT OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT COUNT!
This is about *your* life and yours alone. Please try to imagine your day w/o caring about the oppinions of others - and then think about what makes you feel good about yourself.

If you care about "their" oppinion in death, then always remember that they will *never* accept your decision, no matter how witty your last note might be.
 
oneweekleft

oneweekleft

Member
Oct 18, 2021
56
What's your timezone?
CET. I wrote it in the US terms to make it easier for most readers.
@oneweekleft - Quote: "I also would like to end my life with a joke or a witty comment to make it a bit easier for me and others, but it turned out: I am the joke"

PLEASE: Don't kill yourself!! You suffer from low self-esteem, a condition that most likely stems from a messed up childhood. In any case, it got NOTHING to do with your actual worth as a human being.

You need to change your social environment, get to surround hou with less frustration and more yhings that bring fun into your world. I can see that you care a lot(!) about what others think about you. BUT OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT COUNT!
This is about *your* life and yours alone. Please try to imagine your day w/o caring about the oppinions of others - and then think about what makes you feel good about yourself.

If you care about "their" oppinion in death, then always remember that they will *never* accept your decision, no matter how witty your last note might be.
Please don't make it harder for me. I kill myself for various reasons:
- it are the problems in my head, not the problems outside of it. There's no way to change my situation enough to make it acceptable for me
- life is not worth living in the first place, no matter under what circumstances
- i do not care about others as much as you think. In my last days I just get a little mellow and sentimental.

I could insert some pretentious nihilistic Cioran/Schopenhauer quotes about how disgusting this world is, but I don't have the power. Please accept my decision.

Actually that's the reason, I wanted to leave a well-written note: that people won't question my decision.
 
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trianglesplayhouse

trianglesplayhouse

Member
Nov 14, 2021
80
I'm sorry this random guy decided to try and persuade you outta it for some reason. Please don't feel stressed or anxious, I don't want your last moments to be negative.

If you are 100% sure and it seems like you are, relax, watch something you like or listen to some music.

- Also seems like we are similar in timezone, I'm in the UK.
 
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Teddybear

Teddybear

Specialist
Nov 20, 2021
335
@oneweekleft - Hey man, this *is* your decision. But if you demand it to be an easy one, then you are in error. We came screaming and kicking into this world and nature demands, that our exist be just as hard.

If you want to die comfy and be surrounded by pleasantness, then its not about your life not being worth living anymore.

The prophet Mohammed said on the topic of suicide: If life is more painful than death, only then are you allowed to wish to die.

Depression can be caused by outside factors - like disease, personal loss or catastrophe. Or it can be rooted in a chemical inbalance inside your head. Your brain can *not* distinguish between the two! That is why I waited over many, many years before forming my oppinion on the matter - and to this very day I say: Give me back what I lost in life and I'll be dancing in the rain all day.
 
trianglesplayhouse

trianglesplayhouse

Member
Nov 14, 2021
80
@oneweekleft - Hey man, this *is* your decision. But if you demand it to be an easy one, then you are in error. We came screaming and kicking into this world and nature demands, that our exist be just as hard.

If you want to die comfy and be surrounded by pleasantness, then its not about your life not being worth living anymore.

The prophet Mohammed said on the topic of suicide: If life is more painful than death, only then are you allowed to wish to die.

Depression can be caused by outside factors - like disease, personal loss or catastrophe. Or it can be rooted in a chemical inbalance inside your head. Your brain can *not* distinguish between the two! That is why I waited over many, many years before forming my oppinion on the matter - and to this very day I say: Give me back what I lost in life and I'll be dancing in the rain all day.
Respectfully, stop. Problems can't be cured in a couple days after not deciding to CTB.

You do not know this person. Stop acting like you know everything about him; you do not know anyone here unless you are an IRL friend or family member.

So people should die horribly then??? Most people want to die somewhat peacefully and while SN isn't 100% peaceful, it's pretty close.

This is bad advice, I've heard better from a school counselor. He is not asking for signs to live, he is asking for unbiased support.
 
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oneweekleft

oneweekleft

Member
Oct 18, 2021
56
@oneweekleft - Hey man, this *is* your decision. But if you demand it to be an easy one, then you are in error. We came screaming and kicking into this world and nature demands, that our exist be just as hard.

If you want to die comfy and be surrounded by pleasantness, then its not about your life not being worth living anymore.

The prophet Mohammed said on the topic of suicide: If life is more painful than death, only then are you allowed to wish to die.

Depression can be caused by outside factors - like disease, personal loss or catastrophe. Or it can be rooted in a chemical inbalance inside your head. Your brain can *not* distinguish between the two! That is why I waited over many, many years before forming my oppinion on the matter - and to this very day I say: Give me back what I lost in life and I'll be dancing in the rain all day.
Listen, these are my last hours. I battle with depression for a long time. I thought a lot about this. I know exactly what i'm doing. I wouldn't mind picking a more painful method, but they are not too reliable besides hanging. I would prefer hanging, but in my state of mind I don't have the power to climb a tree, bind a noose and so on.

I think you joined the wrong forum. This is a pro-choice forum, not pro-life. I don't want to talk to you anymore, sorry.
 
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Teddybear

Teddybear

Specialist
Nov 20, 2021
335
@trianglesplayhouse - A guy is about to kill himself and he asks for help and advise. And basic human instinct demands, that you question that decision - for its the most important one he'll *ever* make.

If my hint, that death is never pleasant and isn't meant to be either, makes him uncomfy, then for heaven's sake the dude has no real *requirement* to die.

People talk too easy about death and dieing. And in most cases its people who never stood at an open coffin and watched in horror what scene is left behind: Sorrow, pain and anguish.

There is no rejoycing, no light from above and nobody is gonna sing "we shall overcome".

I made my first attempt at suicide when I was 8 years old and by now I got plenty of exercise - but obviously didn't had much sucess as of yet. Its no fun to hang from a tree suffocating, or to sit in a darkened room and wait for it to fill up with gas.

All those "good bye" letters I had written and the sense of shame I felt once I realized the suffering I would have caused to those I would have left behind. Death is hard and does not care. And unless you have become just as hard, you are *not* ready to die.

You can still kill yourself of course, but don't expect a pink rainbow at the end of that tunnel.
 
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trianglesplayhouse

trianglesplayhouse

Member
Nov 14, 2021
80
Can mods ban this guy please 🙏
 
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Eric Draven

Eric Draven

Member
Sep 24, 2021
29
@oneweekleft - Hey man, this *is* your decision. But if you demand it to be an easy one, then you are in error. We came screaming and kicking into this world and nature demands, that our exist be just as hard.

If you want to die comfy and be surrounded by pleasantness, then its not about your life not being worth living anymore.

The prophet Mohammed said on the topic of suicide: If life is more painful than death, only then are you allowed to wish to die.

Depression can be caused by outside factors - like disease, personal loss or catastrophe. Or it can be rooted in a chemical inbalance inside your head. Your brain can *not* distinguish between the two! That is why I waited over many, many years before forming my oppinion on the matter - and to this very day I say: Give me back what I lost in life and I'll be dancing in the rain all day.
What are rambling about "nature demands that our exist be just as hard", it demands no such thing.
Who cares what some 7th Century madman did or didn't say?
Man, you're not helping at all, get off this thread.
 
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deathgripsme

deathgripsme

There is another world
Oct 26, 2021
117
I'm so sorry that there's a dickhead trying to quote religion to change your mind. It's really tasteless.
Again I hope you find peace in these last hours ❤️
 
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Silent.Tears

Silent.Tears

Experienced
Nov 5, 2021
282
Can someone please tell me why some people's usernames are striked out? Are these accounts blocked by the site or deleted accounts by users?
 
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trianglesplayhouse

trianglesplayhouse

Member
Nov 14, 2021
80
Is he gone now? 😥
 
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blueclover_.

blueclover_.

Better Never to Have Been: 2006, David Benatar
Oct 11, 2021
668
@oneweekleft - Hey man, this *is* your decision. But if you demand it to be an easy one, then you are in error. We came screaming and kicking into this world and nature demands, that our exist be just as hard.

If you want to die comfy and be surrounded by pleasantness, then its not about your life not being worth living anymore.

The prophet Mohammed said on the topic of suicide: If life is more painful than death, only then are you allowed to wish to die.

Depression can be caused by outside factors - like disease, personal loss or catastrophe. Or it can be rooted in a chemical inbalance inside your head. Your brain can *not* distinguish between the two! That is why I waited over many, many years before forming my oppinion on the matter - and to this very day I say: Give me back what I lost in life and I'll be dancing in the rain all day.
No. Which hadith? It is literally written in the quran to not kill yourself , as your soul is "Allah's" only. Stop the taqqiyah.


RIP friend. You will be remembered.
 
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AppleTreeDog

AppleTreeDog

Member
Nov 20, 2021
76
Been thinking about you all day OP. Whether you're still here with us or not, I hope you find your peace.
 
S

sandalphon

Student
Aug 19, 2021
126
@trianglesplayhouse - A guy is about to kill himself and he asks for help and advise. And basic human instinct demands, that you question that decision - for its the most important one he'll *ever* make.

If my hint, that death is never pleasant and isn't meant to be either, makes him uncomfy, then for heaven's sake the dude has no real *requirement* to die.

People talk too easy about death and dieing. And in most cases its people who never stood at an open coffin and watched in horror what scene is left behind: Sorrow, pain and anguish.

There is no rejoycing, no light from above and nobody is gonna sing "we shall overcome".

I made my first attempt at suicide when I was 8 years old and by now I got plenty of exercise - but obviously didn't had much sucess as of yet. Its no fun to hang from a tree suffocating, or to sit in a darkened room and wait for it to fill up with gas.

All those "good bye" letters I had written and the sense of shame I felt once I realized the suffering I would have caused to those I would have left behind. Death is hard and does not care. And unless you have become just as hard, you are *not* ready to die.

You can still kill yourself of course, but don't expect a pink rainbow at the end of that tunnel.
Just stop. You are not helping. AT ALL.
 
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F

Flying Away

A listening ear is better than suffering in silenc
Nov 20, 2021
393
@oneweekleft - Quote: "I also would like to end my life with a joke or a witty comment to make it a bit easier for me and others, but it turned out: I am the joke"

PLEASE: Don't kill yourself!! You suffer from low self-esteem, a condition that most likely stems from a messed up childhood. In any case, it got NOTHING to do with your actual worth as a human being.

You need to change your social environment, get to surround hou with less frustration and more yhings that bring fun into your world. I can see that you care a lot(!) about what others think about you. BUT OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT COUNT!
This is about *your* life and yours alone. Please try to imagine your day w/o caring about the oppinions of others - and then think about what makes you feel good about yourself.

If you care about "their" oppinion in death, then always remember that they will *never* accept your decision, no matter how witty your last note might be

I sincerely hope you can still read this. I respect your right to do with your life as you please, but if you write:
"I would like to leave some well written witty note or post to you, …" then that indicates to me, that your primary problem is, that you got no one to talk to. Don't kill yourself because of one bad weekend.

I made up my mind a long time ago, and I don't care about explaining it to anyone, the day its gonna happen or "leaving a well written note" about it. Its not something I am proud of or would advise to *anybody* else. Death sucks - but life does sometimes, too.

But to anyone who says "I have to die *that* day" I say: Just let it pass and see what happens.
If a dog was suffering you would put it down and call it humane. With People it seems to be let them suffer. That doesn't seem very humane.
 
Chinaski

Chinaski

Arthur Scargill appreciator
Sep 1, 2018
3,468
If a dog was suffering you would put it down and call it humane. With People it seems to be let them suffer. That doesn't seem very humane.
Difference here is dogs, by definition, are not afflicted with the human condition. I haven't looked at the statistics but l suspect the suicide rate amongst dogs is relatively low.
 
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F

Flying Away

A listening ear is better than suffering in silenc
Nov 20, 2021
393
Difference here is dogs, by definition, are not afflicted with the human condition. I haven't looked at the statistics but l suspect the suicide rate amongst dogs is relatively low.

Suffering is suffering. The human condition makes you aware of your mental anguish. Mental anguish is hard to overcome. Plus it's a personal choice.
 
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thinkkank

thinkkank

Experienced
Oct 16, 2019
255
I hope it works and you find peace on the other side
 
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miserableforever

miserableforever

Arcanist
Oct 23, 2020
488
I'm going mad. Now my family visits me tomorrow once more because they need a document. 3 Days in a row, because they sell my/our car.
These sincerely aren't excuses. Of course they didn't tell when they are coming, so maybe it's going to happen tomorrow evening (night is too risky because of the noises) or tuesday.

Why can't I just die when I want to. Either way, it will happen.
Oh well, things happen. Don't drive yourself crazy.
 
Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
I just woke up. I haven't eaten anything for 10 hours. I will do it in roughly 6 to 7 hours. I took some Lyrica and Bupropion. I bought my SN from reputable sources, but if I've got the strenghth, I'll do a blood test.
Godspeed
 
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F

falling bird

Member
Dec 2, 2021
18
I wanted to ctb for quite a while now. It's the perfect time to do it and i don't act on impulse. Nothing can be done to make my life better or to solve the problems in my life. The problem is to be alive in the first place.

I would like to leave some well written witty note or post to you, but my brain i fucked and I'm nothing but tired.

I don't know if I should do it tomorrow or on sunday, I'll do it during the day, in case a neighbour hears me moaning at night and calls the police.

The method is SN. I've got SN from two sources. I'll take benzos and lyrica constantly during the next days (or maybe oxycodone, but not together with benzos of course). It will go like this:

- fast for 8 hours
- take 800 mg of ibuprofen 60 minutes before the SN
- take 30 mg of domperidone 45 minutes before the SN
- take 40 mg of omeprazol 30 minutes before the SN
- 30 g of SN dissolved in 60ml of water - 3 glasses prepared in case of puking (30g because I weigh 93kg, in the pph it has been stated, that you should take 35g, if you weigh more than 100kg, since I weigh close to that I took it to 30 g. And I take 60 ml of water because I take 30 g instead of 25g and in the pph they wrote, that you can take 50-100 ml of water.

Is that correct?

Please do me one last favour. I never had friends and I want to die badly, but it sucks, when you know , you'll be dead in 2 days, you're just like sitting in death row, waiting for it to happen. Could some of you look in this thread once in a while for the next two days. The latest day to ctb is monday.
I don't want to exist anymore, but the idea of just not being anymore is unthinkable und unimaginable, because you cannot think a state, in which you are not able to think anymore.

I'm afraid of an afterlive, I think it's impossible that there is something like that. I don't have time to read up a lot on that. Could some of you give me some rational reasons why it doesn't exist?

I could try to write you how I feel after taking the SN, but I doubt I will be able to type a lot in this condition.
Hello!
I just woke up. I haven't eaten anything for 10 hours. I will do it in roughly 6 to 7 hours. I took some Lyrica and Bupropion. I bought my SN from reputable sources, but if I've got the strenghth, I'll do a blood test.
Hey you, you want to talk
 
P

PeacefulTonic

Enlightened
Aug 10, 2021
1,006
Hello!

Hey you, you want to talk
The fuck is the point of you bumping this thread? Either you're a complete fucking idiot or you have some not so hidden agenda. Get this guy and this Teddybear guy the fuck out of here
 
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N

nana2000

Member
Jul 17, 2020
48
I wanted to ctb for quite a while now. It's the perfect time to do it and i don't act on impulse. Nothing can be done to make my life better or to solve the problems in my life. The problem is to be alive in the first place.

I would like to leave some well written witty note or post to you, but my brain i fucked and I'm nothing but tired.

I don't know if I should do it tomorrow or on sunday, I'll do it during the day, in case a neighbour hears me moaning at night and calls the police.

The method is SN. I've got SN from two sources. I'll take benzos and lyrica constantly during the next days (or maybe oxycodone, but not together with benzos of course). It will go like this:

- fast for 8 hours
- take 800 mg of ibuprofen 60 minutes before the SN
- take 30 mg of domperidone 45 minutes before the SN
- take 40 mg of omeprazol 30 minutes before the SN
- 30 g of SN dissolved in 60ml of water - 3 glasses prepared in case of puking (30g because I weigh 93kg, in the pph it has been stated, that you should take 35g, if you weigh more than 100kg, since I weigh close to that I took it to 30 g. And I take 60 ml of water because I take 30 g instead of 25g and in the pph they wrote, that you can take 50-100 ml of water.

Is that correct?

Please do me one last favour. I never had friends and I want to die badly, but it sucks, when you know , you'll be dead in 2 days, you're just like sitting in death row, waiting for it to happen. Could some of you look in this thread once in a while for the next two days. The latest day to ctb is monday.
I don't want to exist anymore, but the idea of just not being anymore is unthinkable und unimaginable, because you cannot think a state, in which you are not able to think anymore.

I'm afraid of an afterlive, I think it's impossible that there is something like that. I don't have time to read up a lot on that. Could some of you give me some rational reasons why it doesn't exist?

I could try to write you how I feel after taking the SN, but I doubt I will be able to type a lot in this condition.
I hope I'm not scaring you. I also wanted to cbt by sn. But it might not be peacful. Maybe it's better to wait until there is a reliable source of N
 

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