i need to ctb right now and i dont know what to do

[angelcircuit]

my sibling, who is pumped full of drugs. apparently told my mom the reason they OD'd was because I "egged them on" when i really, really did not. I dont know why they said that. but mom and dad think worse of me. my dad is leaving and hes telling my mom its all my fault. my mom wont talk to me. i want to die now. i dont have sn, i might just take whatever stupid pills i have and pray it works. i cant do this anymore. i dont know what to do. i have no place to go, the only homeless shelter i have nearby is housing someone who i cannot be near. my head hurts. i want to call the cops because my dad is scaring me but i dont know. why am i so weak. why did i hurt my sibling like that. they might not even live. im so sorry

 

[bussy]

im sure they had other reasons to do so, dont push this on yourself. its clear that you really care for them. tho, please think carefully about ctb rn as a hasty ctb is never a good thing. being desperate makes you prone to making more mistakes. which would just lead to bigger problems. i would advise you to research methods which are easily accessible instead.
although whatever you choose to do, i wish you the best. dont be too harsh on yourself, it wasnt your fault.

 

[fleetingnight]

I'm so, so sorry, that's so frightening and awful. You don't deserve that.