I need marriage advice

[solblaze]

For the past several years, almost 4, I have been taking medication to sleep, first it was amitryptlyne, then seroquel. The first was on for several years, then a year ago my wife come to me that she wasn't happy, I hadn't been engaged, hadn't been interested in sex ect. Well that was when I swapped to seroquel and for the first few months everything was great, but I didn't realize it but slipped back to how it was on the first Med's. My wife wants to leave me cause I'm no un-engaged cause I've been so uninterested. I've thrown the seroquel away and plan to cold turkey. I love my wife. She's the only person on this planet I love. I can't love her. I'm already at the edge of ctb. Has anyone been through something similar? What advice do you have? I just need someone to talk. I love my wife I can't lose her.

 

[Life_and_Death]

id have to guess the medications are causing a problem.

i personally feel that its a bit of a give and take situation.

however if shes leaving you over sex i have to question if maybe thats for the best. your sleep and self care is important and if she loves you that would be important to her as well

 

[solblaze]

No motivation, no energy, Anhedonic like, no passions or desires, anger and irritability.

I copied and pasted the above but this sums up how I feel on a normal day to day basis.

id have to guess the medications are causing a problem.

i personally feel that its a bit of a give and take situation.

however if shes leaving you over sex i have to question if maybe thats for the best. your sleep and self care is important and if she loves you that would be important to her as well

It's not just that. I've made her feel like a room mate without meaning too. Like today, when I got home form work I started in the kitchen and worked on it for several hours before she got home. I took my sleeping pill then after she wanted to start putting up ornaments. I was feeling the pills and fell asleep and don't remember her asking, woke up for a minute and she texted me about it, and I helped as long as I could until I was exhausted from just trying to think and move, went to bed. While laying in bed I got this text.


"I'm very upset with you and not sure I want to continue being married to you. You know Christmas is important to me because I never got to celebrate it as a kid. I've always tried to create my own Christmas traditions as an adult. This is the third year in a row that I've put up the Christmas tree and basically all decorations by myself. I don't see the point of being with someone who puts me and creating any sort of family traditions at the bottom of the list. Christmas decorations might seem like a small thing to you, but it's all part of a bigger problem. You are literally a roommate to me. You don't have any interest in spending any time with me, having sex with me, or me in general. You are not contributing anything to our relationship or the household. I came home yesterday tired and wet, and you had literally created more work for me. It seems like all you care about is sleeping and getting high. We already went through this shit last year, and you changed your behavior for about three months. I'm not interested in doing that again. I am also not interested in begging someone to show interest in me who obviously doesn't care anything at all about me."

I'm panicking. I love her. I can't do this without her. I just flushed all my medicine and plan to cold turkey quit. I took the medicine only at night to sleep

 

[XdragonsoulX]

Seroquel messes you up, it caused memory issues with me, cold turkey is hard to do with seroquel since it makes you sick when you start and stop taking the medicine. I don't recommend taking it, however with your wife leaving hopefully she gives you another chance and will stay. Good luck

 

[Life_and_Death]

It's not just that. I've made her feel like a room mate without meaning too. Like today, when I got home form work I started in the kitchen and worked on it for several hours before she got home. I took my sleeping pill then after she wanted to start putting up ornaments. I was feeling the pills and fell asleep and don't remember her asking, woke up for a minute and she texted me about it, and I helped as long as I could until I was exhausted from just trying to think and move, went to bed. While laying in bed I got this text.

if this is it, it reminds me of the side effect i had from olanzapine, literally slept for 15-20hrs, with that drugged out 'i dont have a choice im sleeping' feeling
if this is the case, again, its not you, its the drug. her blame is completely in the wrong place. i get her POV i missed out on a lot, but i really think she needs to understand its the medication. the fact that youre making this post and trying, tells me that her pov of your situation is very skewed

 

[solblaze]

if this is it, it reminds me of the side effect i had from olanzapine, literally slept for 15-20hrs, with that drugged out 'i dont have a choice im sleeping' feeling
if this is the case, again, its not you, its the drug. her blame is completely in the wrong place. i get her POV i missed out on a lot, but i really think she needs to understand its the medication. the fact that youre making this post and trying, tells me that her pov of your situation is very skewed

I've been wanting off the meds for several months after stumbling across a blog post about how seroquel ruined someone's marriage and realized I was dealing with the same thing. The way you described your meds is how I would describe mine. I told her once a few weeks ago it's like having an off switch. Once the pills taken that's it, it's lights out shortly.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I've been wanting off the meds for several months after stumbling across a blog post about how seroquel ruined someone's marriage and realized I was dealing with the same thing. The way you described your meds is how I would describe mine. I told her once a few weeks ago it's like having an off switch. Once the pills taken that's it, it's lights out shortly.

what about another medication? something not as strong?
maybe do what i do (if you can). i read up on medications for what im looking for (rn anxiety), and ill look at the side effects to decide if its something im comfortable with taking, then take that one in to my doc and say "i would really prefer this medication because i believe it will help with this plus it avoids these side effects or whatever" basically do the research for them and sell it

 

[solblaze]

I take my medicine to sleep, before taking these meds I got maybe 3-5 hours sleep a night. I'm gonna withdraw and just go without and hope I can find something not medication to help sleep at night.

 

[Life_and_Death]

she got home. I took my sleeping pill then after she wanted to start putting up ornaments. I was feeling the pills and fell asleep

im curious if i may ask, why take your medication so early? if it works that fast (and heavy), why not wait until youre going to bed? then youre done for the day and it doesnt matter anymore (might not help with every problem, but at least you wont be sleeping when you dont want to)

 

[solblaze]

im curious if i may ask, why take your medication so early? if it works that fast (and heavy), why not wait until youre going to bed? then youre done for the day any it doesnt matter anyway (might not help with every problem, but at least you wont be sleeping when you dont want to)

I take my sleeping pill around 7 each night to go to sleep by 8 to be up early for work. She's able to go to work when she wants and gets off when she wants, she likes to sleep in each morning and work a little later in the evening, where I work outside and like to start early and get my work done.
There was a time last year where I almost caught tb, wanted to for over 15 years but never had the balls to do it. I snapped last year an at last minute I backed out cause I was to scared of making myself mentally retarded. I've often regretted that decision cause I've never been able to get that nerve to do it back. I'm a wallowing crying mess. Idk what to do

 

[bigfishlittlefish]

For the past several years, almost 4, I have been taking medication to sleep, first it was amitryptlyne, then seroquel. The first was on for several years, then a year ago my wife come to me that she wasn't happy, I hadn't been engaged, hadn't been interested in sex ect. Well that was when I swapped to seroquel and for the first few months everything was great, but I didn't realize it but slipped back to how it was on the first Med's. My wife wants to leave me cause I'm no un-engaged cause I've been so uninterested. I've thrown the seroquel away and plan to cold turkey. I love my wife. She's the only person on this planet I love. I can't love her. I'm already at the edge of ctb. Has anyone been through something similar? What advice do you have? I just need someone to talk. I love my wife I can't lose her.

If you can, please don't go cold turkey on psychiatric drugs, it can really mess you up.

 

[solblaze]

If you can, please don't go cold turkey on psychiatric drugs, it can really mess you up.

I've already thrown them away, and can't get a refill for a few weeks. I've been on seroquel for about 9-10 months, started at 50mg and went up to 100mg around 4-5 months ago.