Help I need help/tips on how to cope with my severe chronic depression

[Anon7075]

Hello! For the past 4 years i have been mostly lurking on this forum trying to find a way to properly kill myself. This year alone i had multiple suicidal attempts, one of which ended up in a 2 week long involuntary hospitalization. My circumstances drastically changed for the better after my hospitalization and for the first time since my depression started at the age of 8/9 i had a drastic change in life for the better and i finally have time to recover and face head on with my mental illness, but the problem is my depression is mostly treatment resistant and even though my life has been sorted out for the most part i still suffer from severe chronic depression. I can't die, im only in my early 20s and for the sake of the people that love me and for the sake of my own future i need to keep on living. I am asking anyone who has dealt with severe depression or any other debilitating mental illness, how do you cope? How do you live your everyday lives with these debilitating illnesses? I want to continue living and i need some tips on how to cope,live and thrive with my severely debilitating chronic depression. I have just exited one of the lowest points of my life and im pleading all of you how to continue even though everyday im suicidal, even though everyday i feel like shit, even though meds dont work, even though every single day is a brutal battlefield with my depression. I want/need to keep on fighting and any suggestions are welcome. I have pleaded for help to my loved ones, to my doctors, but i feel like im pleading to a brick wall. Please for the love of everything, i need any help that i can get and i want to know what helped all of you to continue even amidst your brutal hardships.

TLDR; I have debilitating chronic severe depression and im not ready to give up. Everything that i tried didn't work so i need suggestions. Thanks!

 

[timf]

You might try experimenting with things outside of what you might expect. For example, exercise. Going for a morning walk or run might break things up such that settling into a depressive mood might be a little more difficult. Other physical activities such as tennis or gym work might be beneficial.

You might want to take a look at nutrition and supplementation. Considering how depleted our food supply is in micro-nutrients, taking a vitamin pill with minerals could be advantageous.

Some Youtube videos might be useful (many are not). If someone tried something and found it worked, it could be something you might want to try.

You could also try some social activity such as a self-help group, volunteer work, church group, or even a library book club.

 

[LostLily]

find sometime to occupy your time. Whether it be hanging out with friends, reading , excercise…etc

I try to get out of the house at least once a month just so I have something to look forward to.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I'm still struggling and I'm not some expert but:

EXERCISE. Working out as hard as I can first thing in the morning is a shield against the day's misery. I'm vulnerable pre-workout. I enjoy sipping coffee, watching the news, and doing the NYT puzzles. But then it's oatmeal, poop, and go. Can't wait.

Stay busy. Have projects. Accept the fact that your labor might not be worth very much per hour. Who cares. Any clean warm bed is as good as a 5 star hotel. A bowl of rice isn't much different from high cuisine. I'm pretty much on my next point...

...get your head out the clouds. Don't be envious of celebrities. 99.9% of people are nobodies. There are cool people you can be friends with everywhere. There are attractive women everywhere. (Or whatever you're into, I'm a straight guy.)

There is always satisfaction in accomplishing SOMETHING. You're not gonna be a movie star. Do your own work. Not religious (yet?) but the Bible is right. Adam's curse is to work. Look at all the abuse Christ took. Ecce homo. Behold [the] man. No living without pain.

Sorry to ramble, I worked out A LOT today and feel pretty high off it.

 

[chloramine]

Honestly, I don't know. I'm sure you've heard of the general ones you can find online (exercise, nutrition, journalling, hobbies, etc), but personally those all have limited help or actively make things worse. A lot of this is just trying a random thing (preferably for at least a couple of weeks because some things take time/can be more hit or miss) and seeing how it turns out.

Start having tea at a specific time every day while you rewatch a favourite show, read a book, engage in a religious practice, listen to music, text people things you find funny, draw, meditate, etc. Take up boxing. Try blackout poetry. Hone your ability to win staring contests. Literally whatever. It's just finding things that work for you and adding more things. It's highly unlikely any one thing will do it, but eventually (ideally) you can build this collection of tools that work together.

I'd also add making sure you're taking time to rest in some form. Depression saps energy and setting aside time to not try can be important (again, dependant on the person and what works for them). I know I personally do better with a balance of having things that I'm expected to do (going to work) while also having time to just. Not. I need time to be depressed and zone out or whatever you want to call it or I lose functionality which. Sets off a spiral.

It's awesome that things have turned around for you and I hope they can keep getting better.

 

[Argo]

Let's see. The thing that has helped me the most, has been diet/exercise/meditation. So I'd focus on what ever is the easiest for you to incorporate from those 3, and then add another, and another. One at a time. Take it really seriously. Don't half ass it, don't take shortcuts, but make it the main focus of your life if life itself is too hard. I suggest Joseph Goldstein for guided meditations, but there are many good teachers available. I think one mistake people make is they try to do this on their own, it's just not as effective as having an expert guide the mind towards the right attention, otherwise we just sit there breathing and distracted and don't get as much out of it as we could.

For diet, try keto/carnivore for a few months. Try fasting as well, 1-3 day fasts with only water. There's something about sugars that seem to cause depression, from my experience. Something to do with gut bacteria. 90%+ of your serotonin is synthesized in the gut with bacteria. Your diet effects those bacteria and how they function.

Get your hormones checked. I'm a man, and when I focused on improving testosterone, I felt so much better. It has a major effect on how you feel. Ignore the medical standards of what "good" levels are, those are generally low.

Once you do all of that for a few months, I would say use that energy to become more social. Put yourself out there. Humans need the proximity of others, they need touch, they need intimacy, and for those things to happen you have to consistently engage with other human beings. Figure out what it takes for you to improve in that area. Once you solve that, and continue to keep up with the other things, depression should be reduced enough that you should definitely be able to see a difference.

The more you take care of yourself, the better you'll feel. It's just about the feedback loop. Do small nice things for yourself. Do it for you, not for any other reason.

 

[FeyB]

I have no real suggestion a psychiatrist couldn't give so I'm just sending positive energy and I hope you the best as a fellow in his early 20s

 

[HopingOnaMiracle]

Guided online meditations are the only thing that helps me a little. Mindfullness in general. Try the book 'the power of now'. That gave me major insight.