Help I need advice (urgent)

[c.c]

Next month i am going to a wedding (which i can't miss due to my parents) and will be staying at my molester's house( where he on video call masturbate over me through out the room and also in every room) and i can't bear being near that house let alone see him in person and initially my last resort of escape was laying on the train track while going to his place but now my parents have decided to go their by car and currently i don't have much resources to commit suicide (the best i can due is full suspension from ceiling fan) and since this won't be the only time i have to see him..dying is my best intrest

How do i commit suicide without fail in such short time??

 

[Dot]

Next month i am going to a wedding (which i can't miss due to my parents) and will be staying at my molester's house( where he on video call masturbate over me through out the room and also in every room) and i can't bear being near that house let alone see him in person and initially my last resort of escape was laying on the train track while going to his place but now my parents have decided to go their by car and currently i don't have much resources to commit suicide (the best i can due is full suspension from ceiling fan) and since this won't be the only time i have to see him..dying is my best intrest

How do i commit suicide without fail in such short time??

Hve thy dne tht on vdeo cll wth u b4

cn u tke a scrnsht if thy r doin tht & shw sme1

Or cn u jst pretnd 2 b ill & nt attnd weddng & tke scrnsht/evdnce in futre s/ u hve smethng 2 bck up ur xpernce

 

[c.c]

Hve thy dne tht on vdeo cll wth u b4

cn u tke a scrnsht if thy r doin tht & shw sme1

Or cn u jst pretnd 2 b ill & nt attnd weddng & tke scrnsht/evdnce in futre s/ u hve smethng 2 bck up ur xpernce

I have the screenshots and it's gonna take me alot of brain power to be in a house where he would masturbate all over the place( and show me his semen) saying " 4 years ago you(me) slept here", " ate here"," brushed your teeth here",etc and do a naked thrusting near sink saying" you bended over here 4 years ago while brushing your teeth"...i just don't even wanna imagine going to that house when i am still hearing his voice and yet have don't have any kind of support..but i will make sure to take the evidence with me though if i don't die till then that is...
P.s. i had turned 17 a week ago and he was gonna be 29..3 days before my 1st attempt..

 

[SecretDissociation]

If you can please take your experience, your account and the evidence to someone you really trust. The authorities if you can and are willing.

I don't know about how you can ctb so soon I wish it was easy.

I would try and see if there is a way to be/pretend to be ill and not go. I really wish the best for you. I hope you don't have to go to relive those memories or be near that 'human'.

 

[wantingdignity]

Honestly, fuck staying at that house. I'm going to be missing my dad's wedding in a few months. I know you have less choice as a minor, but it's very reasonable to need to not be there. I hope that your parents would understand if you tell them, but if not, come up with a lie for now. You deserve to be treated appropriately and to be physically and emotionally safe.

You have several options. Whatever you do is up to you. You could tell someone everything. The pros would be that he could face consequences in some form, you definitely would not have to be in that house, you could open doors to getting support, and you could make the burden a little lighter. If you get to a spot where you can tell someone, I would highly recommend it.

If you can't do that right now, there are plenty of ways to get out of a wedding. I guarantee if you go inpatient for suicidality, they will not let you out for a wedding. I have gone inpatient more than once. It is not a first choice, but that is a guaranteed way to not have to go. They will be able to help you get on antidepressants or antianxiety meds if you want to try them. You can also try an outpatient program to deal with the trauma. They could help you plan how to get out of going to that house.

You could give a half truth. You could say that he made a pass at you and you don't feel comfortable being there. You could also be really sick close to time. You could come up with a lot of different lies. Maybe you could stay with a different family member or friend.

If your body is telling you that you'd rather die than be there, I would listen to it.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. You deserved to be treated appropriately and with respect and I'm sorry you weren't.

 

[Linda]

I don't think catching the bus is the answer here. Better to tell someone you can trust. (Would that include your parents?) If all else fails, just fake an illness the day of the wedding, (You could take a large dose of laxatives, and pass off the results as a norovirus infection. You can't go to a large gathering of people if you have a norovirus infection, because you could easily infect everyone there.)

 

[c.c]

I have the screenshots and it's gonna take me alot of brain power to be in a house where he would masturbate all over the place( and show me his semen) saying " 4 years ago you(me) slept here", " ate here"," brushed your teeth here",etc and do a naked thrusting near sink saying" you bended over here 4 years ago while brushing your teeth"...i just don't even wanna imagine going to that house when i am still hearing his voice and yet have don't have any kind of support..but i will make sure to take the evidence with me though if i don't die till then that is...

If you can please take your experience, your account and the evidence to someone you really trust. The authorities if you can and are willing.

I don't know about how you can ctb so soon I wish it was easy.

I would try and see if there is a way to be/pretend to be ill and not go. I really wish the best for you. I hope you don't have to go to relive those memories or be near that 'human'.

If you can please take your experience, your account and the evidence to someone you really trust. The authorities if you can and are willing.

I don't know about how you can ctb so soon I wish it was easy.

I would try and see if there is a way to be/pretend to be ill and not go. I really wish the best for you. I hope you don't have to go to relive those memories or be near that 'human'.

Is there really no way to die? I mean it's not like i havn't tried or don't have guts or my survival instinct is strong or whatever i have tried to hang myself at a different place and again recently ( test if my setup was legit by fully hanging for 3 sec and getting down with the help of bunk bed), overdosed and was in the hospital for 7 days and got out on "request", have lost count of how many time i tried to cut myself but just was never deep enough, choosed a building to jump from but i am a girl and can't go out at night, even had the back plan of laying on a train track at night while going to the wedding but my parents switched it to travelling by CAR.

Honestly, fuck staying at that house. I'm going to be missing my dad's wedding in a few months. I know you have less choice as a minor, but it's very reasonable to need to not be there. I hope that your parents would understand if you tell them, but if not, come up with a lie for now. You deserve to be treated appropriately and to be physically and emotionally safe.

You have several options. Whatever you do is up to you. You could tell someone everything. The pros would be that he could face consequences in some form, you definitely would not have to be in that house, you could open doors to getting support, and you could make the burden a little lighter. If you get to a spot where you can tell someone, I would highly recommend it.

If you can't do that right now, there are plenty of ways to get out of a wedding. I guarantee if you go inpatient for suicidality, they will not let you out for a wedding. I have gone inpatient more than once. It is not a first choice, but that is a guaranteed way to not have to go. They will be able to help you get on antidepressants or antianxiety meds if you want to try them. You can also try an outpatient program to deal with the trauma. They could help you plan how to get out of going to that house.

You could give a half truth. You could say that he made a pass at you and you don't feel comfortable being there. You could also be really sick close to time. You could come up with a lot of different lies. Maybe you could stay with a different family member or friend.

If your body is telling you that you'd rather die than be there, I would listen to it.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. You deserved to be treated appropriately and with respect and I'm sorry you weren't.

I can tell my bf cuz 1st that brother is scared od him and he is the only one irl to know about my first attempt but he isn't the most caring? Or empathetic person? I mean he has micro cheated a lot of time and i am pretty sure he still is doing but then again his parents found out about us last year and he after being found out by them is still risking being homeless? And being in the relationship...just even so..it will just be a bit of emotional burden off and i can't pretend to be sick because when i was hospitalised due to overdose i did miss out on another wedding( he was in it and i saw a lot of pics of him and my dad smiling together) and i really don't wanna leave anything to the very last min cuz what if i slip up?

I don't think catching the bus is the answer here. Better to tell someone you can trust. (Would that include your parents?) If all else fails, just fake an illness the day of the wedding, (You could take a large dose of laxatives, and pass off the results as a norovirus infection. You can't go to a large gathering of people if you have a norovirus infection, because you could easily infect everyone there.)

Thanks for the suggestion..i will look into laxatives sources.

 

[SecretDissociation]

Is there really no way to die? I mean it's not like i havn't tried or don't have guts or my survival instinct is strong or whatever i have tried to hang myself at a different place and again recently ( test if my setup was legit by fully hanging for 3 sec and getting down with the help of bunk bed), overdosed and was in the hospital for 7 days and got out on "request", have lost count of how many time i tried to cut myself but just was never deep enough, choosed a building to jump from but i am a girl and can't go out at night, even had the back plan of laying on a train track at night while going to the wedding but my parents switched it to travelling by CAR.

I can tell my bf cuz 1st that brother is scared od him and he is the only one irl to know about my first attempt but he isn't the most caring? Or empathetic person? I mean he has micro cheated a lot of time and i am pretty sure he still is doing but then again his parents found out about us last year and he after being found out by them is still risking being homeless? And being in the relationship...just even so..it will just be a bit of emotional burden off and i can't pretend to be sick because when i was hospitalised due to overdose i did miss out on another wedding( he was in it and i saw a lot of pics of him and my dad smiling together) and i really don't wanna leave anything to the very last min cuz what if i slip up?

Thanks for the suggestion..i will look into laxatives sources.

I understand. It's just that, oftentimes even if plan how to ctb now, these types of plans count as 'impulsive' or rushed and the chance of failing is high (not saying you will fail because at the end of the day nobody can predict these things). Only if its safe for you to do so, tell someone. Your boyfriend is a choice, but I worry if he'll listen to you as you said he isn't the most caring or empathetic. And I don't know what actions exactly count as micro-cheating but if it borders on emotional cheating and stuff then I don't know. You are the best source for your decision regarding this.

I second what Linda said about getting some laxatives and trying to become ill. I know that you missed a wedding last time, but think of yourself first and your safety, sometimes sharing memories can make you feel you were there. Maybe that is something you can think about?

 

[c.c]

I understand. It's just that, oftentimes even if plan how to ctb now, these types of plans count as 'impulsive' or rushed and the chance of failing is high (not saying you will fail because at the end of the day nobody can predict these things). Only if its safe for you to do so, tell someone. Your boyfriend is a choice, but I worry if he'll listen to you as you said he isn't the most caring or empathetic. And I don't know what actions exactly count as micro-cheating but if it borders on emotional cheating and stuff then I don't know. You are the best source for your decision regarding this.

I second what Linda said about getting some laxatives and trying to become ill. I know that you missed a wedding last time, but think of yourself first and your safety, sometimes sharing memories can make you feel you were there. Maybe that is something you can think about?

I did look into laxatives but the it's overdose will be cured, not completely but enough to travel which just lead to me arrving 1 day later
It's gonna take 2 days and 1 night to reach there house and the wedding is on 7th, i will reach there on 5th, i can delay it and reach on 6th...doesn't make it any better...
And we will be travelling through some major cities..so hospitals will be in reach..

 

[Dot]

I have the screenshots and it's gonna take me alot of brain power to be in a house where he would masturbate all over the place( and show me his semen) saying " 4 years ago you(me) slept here", " ate here"," brushed your teeth here",etc and do a naked thrusting near sink saying" you bended over here 4 years ago while brushing your teeth"...i just don't even wanna imagine going to that house when i am still hearing his voice and yet have don't have any kind of support..but i will make sure to take the evidence with me though if i don't die till then that is...
P.s. i had turned 17 a week ago and he was gonna be 29..3 days before my 1st attempt..

If u hve evdnce thn honstly u shld tll fsmly or tke 2 polce

Slf undrstnd = dffclt whn = jst ur wrd agnst thrs - slf hve bn thre - bt whn u hve evdnce thn thy cnnt pretnd tht nothng hs happnd

Thre = 0 reasn Y u shld hve 2 sty in hse wth sme1 wh/ nt only dd thse thngs bt lkes re-vistng tht

Also dd u sy tht u jst turnd 17 & thy r 29

 

[c.c]

If u hve evdnce thn honstly u shld tll fsmly or tke 2 polce

Slf undrstnd = dffclt whn = jst ur wrd agnst thrs - slf hve bn thre - bt whn u hve evdnce thn thy cnnt pretnd tht nothng hs happnd

Thre = 0 reasn Y u shld hve 2 sty in hse wth sme1 wh/ nt only dd thse thngs bt lkes re-vistng tht

Also dd u sy tht u jst turnd 17 & thy r 29

At the time of molestation i had just turned 17 and the day when i first attempt, he turned 29 just 3 days later
I will tell you about 1 video call, he said quote:
" you know? Today i imagined what would happen if our family found out and i imagined all of there reactions and what they will say..my mom will ask why did you text her? And i will say she did 1st and my mom will say but i am older and then i say she was horny(pure lie) and was looking was a guy and has a bf and told me about her plans of having sex(lie) with him( my bf) and as a older brother i got scared and in order to protect her i said let's be in a relationship and she said yes(i never did) and said what i said in those texts and calls so that she is safe and she is making me the villian..you know fake rape cases?" 1 month before my 17th birthday, it hit me that i was indeed molested(thought it was a nightmare for 10 years) before i could turn 7 yr old and started having anxiety attack and self harming

And yeah when he told me his plan, his older sister is a family lawyer(the bride), knows law better(also has a history of dating minor while being 20+)