Venting I need a method, now.

[apoptosis]

Hey everyone.

I'm so, so fucking tired. I genuinely can't handle life anymore, I'm so perpetually bored, overwhelmed, and exhausted with life. There is nothing that makes me happy enough to desire to live. I can still feel happiness. I can still enjoy doing things. But... it's kind of like the fleeting sensation one gets when indulging an addiction. It's not enough, it's never enough, and there's never going to feel a sense of satiety.

I need a method. I want to try partial hanging from my door, as I've tried before. I almost passed out but then I stopped because I got scared almost half a year ago. I might try again tonight. I don't know. I feel so defeated. But I'm not holding out for it to work, because I'm sort of the biggest pussy.

I really really want SN. I really fucking want it. I wish there was someone nearby (CA) that has extra, and I can just do it. It sounds so peaceful. Death sounds so alluring and beautiful and life is torture.

I'm so, so tired. I know I keep repeating this but it's true. I am constantly remembering things I've done that make me wanna mutilate myself due to self-hatred, I refuse to look in mirrors anymore because I can't stand looking at my body and face, I dread doing anything in the future that would render me a functional member of society. I'm a pathetic piece of shit.

There's no hope for me. None at all. I need to be dead and I need a way to do it. If I had access to opiates, I'd overdose, or if I had access to some, but not enough to overdose, I'd take some and then bleed myself out.

I wish there was an easy way to die right here, in my bed. I want to curl up, close my eyes, and never open them again. I just want to never feel anything ever again.

I feel insurmountably crushed.

 

[SilentSadness]

It is understandable to want a peaceful ctb method, personally hanging would be far too difficult and painful for me. I don't think SN is peaceful but it's certainly better than lots of other methods. It's a shame that we're brought to this point, being forced into brutal methods to make us into statistics. I am also exhausted with it all and have lost hope in finding a way out.

 

[woh6]

I'm sorry life brought you to such a point. Sadly there isn't an easy and straightforward way to instantly die. I wish you luck with whatever you decide

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so horrible to me and inhumane how as humans we are denied a guaranteed and peaceful way to die, existing here certainly is such a cruel punishment and I hate how we are just expected to be prisoners to this existence until we decay from age. Existing in this world truly is such a hopeless fate, which is why I see so much beauty in the thought of permanent nothingness. I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, I'm also tired of enduring this futile process.

 

[Unknown21]

I'm sorry bro, i wish you the best. This world is fucking cruel and inhumane. I also so tired. I think I'm gonna do it this year or next year.