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NothingElseMatters

NothingElseMatters

Warlock
Mar 30, 2020
745
for fucks sake, i would give anything to have a gun in my hands right now.
 
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O

OldDrummer

Arcanist
Feb 4, 2022
435
Worst option ever. Plenty of YouTube videos on survivors of that particular method. It's grim dude.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,339
I'm not sure I would ever be able to ctb by gun if I ever had access to one. I would fear it going wrong in someway and I do not want to die a brutal death. All I want is to exit peacefully.
 
NothingElseMatters

NothingElseMatters

Warlock
Mar 30, 2020
745
Worst option ever. Plenty of YouTube videos on survivors of that particular method. It's grim dude.
i really don't care about that. i've seen all those videos and the only one who frightened me was the girl who destroyed her entire face. i'd rather give it a shot and see what turns out. if i still survive, at least i'll be a fucked up brain damaged loser, and not just a loser as i'm right now.
 
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SpaceCadet

SpaceCadet

‎In a perfect world, nobody would be suicidal
Feb 27, 2022
193
I still think shooting yourself it's one of the best ways to do it, it's super fast and painless, you can stuff your face before, drink an entire bottle of vodka and it won't affect the result. I would love to have one too.
 
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Red Scare

Red Scare

Wizard
Mar 1, 2022
647
I still think shooting yourself it's one of the best ways to do it, it's super fast and painless, you can stuff your face before, drink an entire bottle of vodka and it won't affect the result. I would love to have one too.

I mean, you're mostly right except for all the things that can go wrong. I would add an asterisk to your post that reads *only if done properly.

There are so many ways a self inflicted gunshot can miss and instead of dying you are horribly disfigured and disabled. One time I was camping with friends at the rainbow gathering, and we ran into a guy who was missing his face, he basically still had eyes but the rest of his face was a mess, it looked like hamburger even after plastic surgery and healing... He had to talk through one of those boxes in his throat like when people smoke too many cigarettes. He had to smoke cigarettes through a hole in his throat, he didn't have a mouth.

I am not a judgmental person, but that was difficult to look at. I think it traumatized me in some small way away from ever considering death by self inflicted gun shot. He explained to us that he used a shotgun, and still failed. I was very surprised by the guys disposition, he said he was happy and glad to be alive, etc.... I can only imagine how frustrated and feeling like a failure I would feel like after that, it would only make me much more depressed and wanting to die...
 
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Red Scare

Red Scare

Wizard
Mar 1, 2022
647
I have a gun in my house right now. But have no idea how to unlock, load, and use it. It's not mine, and I would never traumatize my spouse by using that to get out of here. You really have to know what you're doing and aiming for.

The only thing worse than suicide for me is failed suicide.
I can only speak for myself but I was devastated when my spouse committed suicide, that's part of the reason why I'm here I won't lie... it was the single worst day of my life... I'll never stop missing him... I will forever ask myself why, blame myself for not doing more, for not seeing it when it should have been plain as day, for being so wrapped up in myself I didn't see the signs... the pain is visceral, it is simultaneously like a knife in the chest, while being punched in the gut and gasping for air... at times it feels like I am drowning... the grief is never ending.
 
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L

lonerclown666

Mage
Dec 1, 2020
540
you need to be careful save money and look normal in order to buy guns
 
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Red Scare

Red Scare

Wizard
Mar 1, 2022
647
I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. Truly, I am. I cannot imagine your pain.

My spouse is aware of my suffering and agony (I had a great life until last year and have an incurable and unbearable condition). We are very open about everything. Me living in agony sucks. Me dying and leaving my family in pain sucks. It all sucks. I just pray every day. I will go until I cannot anymore and more than one person knows this.

My family will get a second chance at life and happiness. There will always be a void. I know this from losing my own parents. My whole family actually. But I also know they will be surrounded by love and unending support. I hate that I will miss the moments I should have been there for. The moments I wanted to be there for, more than anything. But it's not just about me. Some people think suicide is selfish. In my case, I don't. I want them to have their lives back and remember the good times when I was me and not this sobbing husk. Not a moment's peace in a year. I am so tired. I hope you can understand that.

Of course I can understand. My husband was an otherwise healthy person, but he struggled with his mental health. I just wish that he would have talked to me about what he was thinking and let me know he was hurting that bad, but he tried to shield me from his true feelings, he thought he was doing us a favor and so at the time it just came as a terrible shock.
 
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H

Hurt

Paragon
Nov 13, 2020
905
Worst option ever. Plenty of YouTube videos on survivors of that particular method. It's grim dude.
After watching some videos I was so scared. I don't want to end up like that if I fail. But I don't have a gun neither.
 
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nowayout*

nowayout*

Member
Dec 17, 2021
93
Yeah I have a gun went out back multiple times shot it thought about it couldn't do it. Couldn't do it to my family & couldn't do it with the risk of failing.
 
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