I miss the illusion I could be ok

[VoidBlessed]

I miss having hope. I miss thinking I could ever fill the sucking void inside, thinking I could have friends, thinking I could lead a fulfilling life if only I kept trying. But it was all a dream, and the thing about dreams is that you always wake up.

 

[The_Sadness_of_Life]

That's the truth about dream we wake up on reality. When I feel sad and depressed I fantasize and dream about having many things friends, financial, romance all kinds of things and makes me hang in there for a bit.
But then reality sets in sad heavy and dragging me down existing is really hard life is really hard. I wish if I can guarantee taking the easy way out is truly the end of existence and no punishment then I be gone long time ago.

I'm scared of taking the easy way out
Imagine in my mind we are living now facing the torments of life then we CTB take the easy way out but then you awaken in spiritual realm being punished in purgatory awaiting judgement is scary because this time theres no point of return no escape what you did can not be undone and you there for eternity.

That's is scary I don't want that
But again we never know if death is truly the end. This uncertainty driving me crazy

This is the sadness of life
We are born we grow young healthy and strong then we get old weaker uglier then die.

I wish the creator will give us choice before we exist.
I wish the creator will show our life from beginning to end how our life would be then give us a Choice if we will take it or leave it
That would be more fair than just existing in life without a say.