I simply give up. I don't understand how people get over relationships. I mean, it's not so hard when the person fuck everything up, but when it's the other way around, it's simply impossible. I think about it every day. I miss her every day. I can't feel happiness or joy for even a moment, and in these almost 6 months there hasn't been a single day that I haven't cried remembering about it. I'm just such an idiot. I wish I could go back in time and do everything differently. I feel like texting her saying I miss her and I just can't. I can't because I'd be a complete jerk just to reappear in her life. I don't even have any information about her because she's made her accounts private. She's never blocked me from anything, In fact, she even FOLLOWS me here on the forum, although I only logged into her account once, a day after creating it. so I COULD send a message. But I won't. I wanted to spend the whole night talking nonsense and laughing, discussing completely random topics that we stumbled upon out of nowhere, I can't talk about all the plans we had. I miss everything. I will never understand how people move on. It doesn't make sense. I hate every part of myself day after day And I'm only still alive because I'm too incompetent to kill myself. I'm thinking of trying again on Friday, probably semi-suspension or ligature strangulation. Unfortunately, these are the only methods I have available right now. I REALLY hope I can do it this time.
And for everyone who read this utter nonsense and thought about how futile and retarded the reason is that my depression has never been worse, I want to reward you with this:
A photo of my niece's rabbit receiving affection (he's very cute).
And for everyone who read this utter nonsense and thought about how futile and retarded the reason is that my depression has never been worse, I want to reward you with this:
A photo of my niece's rabbit receiving affection (he's very cute).
