N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 5,341
In the clinic they once again suspect I have autism. Autism makes finding a girfriend so much more difficult. But I already knew I have some quirks like for example to talk too much about politics.
The clinic does not help much. In some instances it is even detrimental. My main reason to stay there are the social contacts. And my pathetic search for love before I ctb.
It is a joke how many mental illnesses I (might) have: bipolar with psychosis, probably OCD, autism, severe anxiety like all the time. Someone asked me whether I am relieved when I got the preleminary autism diagnosis. Honestly, I don't give a shit. I have to read some literature on it. But my problems were already unsolvable. It gives me another excuse to kill myself and not to blame myself for it because it is a condition and I am not just sort of insane caused by my psychosis which was my first assumption.
The diagnosis comes this late. Way too late. But let's be real my mom would have beated the shit out of me anyway. I have the feeling it is pretty likely I kill myself in the next years. It is just whatever for me I gonna kill myself anyway. Just another label for my daily torture experience.
I think (maybe) me , FC and sserafim (asperger?) have autism. I am not sure which forms of it in each case.. It is not clear in my case. @Forever Sleep has anyone suspected a form of autism in your case? What is with the others?
The clinic does not help much. In some instances it is even detrimental. My main reason to stay there are the social contacts. And my pathetic search for love before I ctb.
It is a joke how many mental illnesses I (might) have: bipolar with psychosis, probably OCD, autism, severe anxiety like all the time. Someone asked me whether I am relieved when I got the preleminary autism diagnosis. Honestly, I don't give a shit. I have to read some literature on it. But my problems were already unsolvable. It gives me another excuse to kill myself and not to blame myself for it because it is a condition and I am not just sort of insane caused by my psychosis which was my first assumption.
The diagnosis comes this late. Way too late. But let's be real my mom would have beated the shit out of me anyway. I have the feeling it is pretty likely I kill myself in the next years. It is just whatever for me I gonna kill myself anyway. Just another label for my daily torture experience.
I think (maybe) me , FC and sserafim (asperger?) have autism. I am not sure which forms of it in each case.. It is not clear in my case. @Forever Sleep has anyone suspected a form of autism in your case? What is with the others?
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