i may have become infatuated with a girl

[pollux]

This is pretty bad. I don't know if it's my general defeatism but I don't think I have any real chances

This is making me quite concerned to be honest, I don't think I ever felt like this; I'm already depressed, really didn't need another thing to get anxious over...

 

[slamjoetry]

I don't know your exact situation or how old you are, but I used to get super anxious about getting feelings for someone and worrying that they wouldn't be returned. And what I've learned is that you just need to shoot your shot as soon as you can if you really want to be with her. Waiting will just make it weirder to do it later on, and increase your anxiety. It probably feels scary, but you don't need to be "smooth" or anything. Just casually tell her how you've been feeling and if she seems receptive to it, try asking her if she wants to go on a hike or see a movie or something casual like that. And if she's not interested in you romantically, would you still be interested in being friends with her? Discomfort in these types of situations goes both ways, so I think the best thing to do would just to be honest and up-front (but not creepy). Sometimes people say "the worst that can happen is she says no" but I think the worst that can actually happen is if you don't say anything at all, cause then not only are you not getting the relationship you were interested in, but also the friendship will probably get super weird and uncomfortable. And besides, if you're nice and normal enough about it when you open up to her, and she judges you or never wants to talk to you again after, then she's got a problem. Cause admitting feelings is a totally normal and healthy thing and it's not the end-all-be-all to a friendship. Again, I don't really know any of the details of your situation so I can only give you general advice from my experience, but I'd say go for it, or chance wondering what could have been.

 

[pollux]

I don't know your exact situation or how old you are, but I used to get super anxious about getting feelings for someone and worrying that they wouldn't be returned. And what I've learned is that you just need to shoot your shot as soon as you can if you really want to be with her. Waiting will just make it weirder to do it later on, and increase your anxiety. It probably feels scary, but you don't need to be "smooth" or anything. Just casually tell her how you've been feeling and if she seems receptive to it, try asking her if she wants to go on a hike or see a movie or something casual like that. And if she's not interested in you romantically, would you still be interested in being friends with her? Discomfort in these types of situations goes both ways, so I think the best thing to do would just to be honest and up-front (but not creepy). Sometimes people say "the worst that can happen is she says no" but I think the worst that can actually happen is if you don't say anything at all, cause then not only are you not getting the relationship you were interested in, but also the friendship will probably get super weird and uncomfortable. And besides, if you're nice and normal enough about it when you open up to her, and she judges you or never wants to talk to you again after, then she's got a problem. Cause admitting feelings is a totally normal and healthy thing and it's not the end-all-be-all to a friendship. Again, I don't really know any of the details of your situation so I can only give you general advice from my experience, but I'd say go for it, or chance wondering what could have been.

It's a bit awkward since I met her in a university club I'm part of (one of those engineering competition teams); so if it doesn't pan out, it might make things somewhat awkward and I don't wanna cause drama. I'll probably still try anyway though... (assuming she doesn't have a boyfriend already, which I don't know if she does).

It's hard for me honestly; I'm not socially awkward, I'd say I'm adept enough in social situations, but I have absolutely no experience with romance (I'm 22). Besides, I'm pretty "schizoid" overall: spend most of my time alone, very few close friends, barely go out of my house etc.

I'm almost afraid of what might happen; "girl likes pollux" is something that feels like an untrue statement for me. Just the notion feels inconceivable at an emotional level. And even when I try to look at things objectively, it seems hard to be hopeful given my past record (i.e never had a girlfriend).