persuasion
Member
- Dec 10, 2020
- 26
So, guess what happens when a fragile and suicidal person buys a house? Correct, they will be overloaded with the responsibility and workload. I have over a decade in my past with bad experiences, I don't want to describe these here as I've done so numerous times on the internet before and it's gotten old. Long story short, for some stupid reason I bought a house with my almost 2 year's gf and I don't know why I didn't stop this whole deal, why I even considered it. I feel like I have absolutely no control over my life. I completed studies, that till this day I don't know why I did that, now I have a job that I don't why I didn't stop after the first few months because I know that I'm not made for this, and now I bought a house and I'm finally really trapped. I'm already considering just giving all my money to my gf and then .. I don't even know. I don't know what to do know. This time I really fucked up. There's so much to do at the house, so many construction defects and I have absolutely no skills, no energy, not enough money and even no social skills to call and engage craftsman and I already hate it there, I don't know how I could have signed this contract, but now it's too late.My parents help a little bit, but I don't even want that really, it's so exhausting for me to be dependent on them, and I think they secretly judge me for buying such a house, I don't think they appreciate the decision, I don't myself. I don't have any friends that would help me, well one offered me help but I can't even bring up the courage to
invite him. Worst of all is my fear of mold. I'm traumatized by this stuff for years, it follows me everywhere I move and I think it causes me serious mental damage. When we get it there, and I think we will, the basement is already very musty, it will be unbearable. Factvof the matter is that ever since we signed the contract my suicidal thoughts were as strong as just years ago. I'm completely exhausted. I only want to LDAR alone in my room. But we have terminated the apartment already so I can't lay down or else we move into a house that's a completely uninhabitable. This is terror, I've never felt so trapped. We all make mistakes in our life, in my case my life is a mistake. I can't act for myself. Death is the sweet solution to everything.
invite him. Worst of all is my fear of mold. I'm traumatized by this stuff for years, it follows me everywhere I move and I think it causes me serious mental damage. When we get it there, and I think we will, the basement is already very musty, it will be unbearable. Factvof the matter is that ever since we signed the contract my suicidal thoughts were as strong as just years ago. I'm completely exhausted. I only want to LDAR alone in my room. But we have terminated the apartment already so I can't lay down or else we move into a house that's a completely uninhabitable. This is terror, I've never felt so trapped. We all make mistakes in our life, in my case my life is a mistake. I can't act for myself. Death is the sweet solution to everything.
