I made no friends throughout college being a commuter for 2 years then 3 yr I'm on campus. I went to different kinds of clubs… felt welcomed but suddenly my dog died killed my emotional state and started fresh spring semester… trying my best to be involved then suddenly I got depressed because my social life is going NOWHERE and it took over completely, from one of the clubs I made a genuine friend who I go out and talk to almost everyday, but it's not enough.. I officially think something is mentally wrong with me and I should CTB at this point.
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DownwardSpiral
idiot
- Jan 21, 2026
- 73
How close are you with them? Do you just talk about casual things, or can you talk about deeper stuff with them? maybe you could open up to them a little bit. Sometime casual relationships don't help with loneliness because you still can't express yourself fully.
We talk about lots of different things even personal but idk I always get backlash when I tell people about my social life so I refrain from bringing it up.
DownwardSpiral
idiot
- Jan 21, 2026
- 73
It's not even that, they use that as an advantage to treat you poorly.
sinnrr-sistrr
le canva à ma lame
- Apr 13, 2026
- 79
Well, one friend isn't gonna make you want to not CTB anymore, but it's certainly a great step forward if you wanna go that way! Keep nourishing that friendship, give it time and energy, and cherish what you reap from it. You can talk about some of your internal thoughts and worries when you feel you need it and, if they are your friend, they will reach their hand out to help you.
I like to think of what Kant said, that each person is not a tool to get to a goal, but a goal within itself. You made a friend and that's wonderful! Don't let anything take that away from you :)
much luv~✿That one genuine friend you mentioned? That's not nothing. That's actually proof you can connect ... it just hasn't scaled yet, and depression makes everything feel more permanent and hopeless than it is.
I know I can connect but people move so weird, and it feels like high school. Doesn't even feel like a community to me… I keep feeling like I'm forcing myself onto people rather them engage mutually with me. Kills my mental every time I try. It's not like I'm autistic or have a disorder I'm normal asf, just trying to make friends. No one wants to be my friend nor do I understand how to being how my surroundings are.Similar threads
Suicide DiscussionPanaxMan
