I made my choice

[saYori2l_ve]

I've been trying really hard to find myself, my identity, dreams, interests, hobbies, friends, love, this is what I've been looking for for years and I haven't found anything. I'm tired of building myself out of other people's images or characters from different media. I'm sick of replaying past traumas in my head, it hurts too much. I'm sick of being mentally ill. I'm sick of not knowing the real me, it's scary. None of this makes any sense. I was probably already born broken.
The only thing I'm sure of is that my insanity won't go away, and the only way to do that is to die. Probably sn will become my method, but haven't done any research yet. Hopefully I can leave this body peacefully before it's too late.

 

[Alexander Neumann]

No matter your decision, I hope you find confidence to proceed.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best, I'm sorry you've had to suffer so much in this cruel existence.

 

[huxIey]

I've been trying really hard to find myself, my identity, dreams, interests, hobbies, friends, love, this is what I've been looking for for years and I haven't found anything. I'm tired of building myself out of other people's images or characters from different media. I'm sick of replaying past traumas in my head, it hurts too much. I'm sick of being mentally ill. I'm sick of not knowing the real me, it's scary. None of this makes any sense. I was probably already born broken.
The only thing I'm sure of is that my insanity won't go away, and the only way to do that is to die. Probably sn will become my method, but haven't done any research yet. Hopefully I can leave this body peacefully before it's too late.

Being numb is truly one of the worst experiencies one can go through. Wish you the best of luck in your attempt.

 

[heisenberg]

i'm sorry you've had to deal with so much in your life. i hope you're able to find the information you need and go peacefully

 

[xmissellax]

Everything you feel is valid and completely understandable. I'm really sorry life and your thoughts have been so cruel to you. I relate a lot to you when you talk about "the real me". Whatever you decide to do, I support you and you should be allowed to make your own choice. Good luck.