![bunintherug](/data/avatars/l/86/86534.jpg?1704358094)
bunintherug
husk of a girl
- Jan 1, 2024
- 25
January of this year I was ready to CTB. I had a plan, I had my letters, everything. But my partner at the time figured out what was going to happen when i tried to say goodbye to them. I posted about that on here. They spent 4 hours talking to me and convincing me to stay. I stayed. For them. I didn't want to make them go through all the pain of losing me. My funeral, cleaning out my stuff. Burying another partner. But they left me now. It's been 3 months and it's finally hit me that they're gone. They don't care anymore, and i'm not sure if they actually ever did. I don't know why i should stay now. Theoretically, yeah, things are kinda getting better, if I keep sticking with it. But i'm so goddam tired, and none of this feels worth it without them. I loved them so hard, i stayed here just for them. how am i supposed to move on from that?