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Ethernatuskoi

Trying to Recover / Leaving
Oct 24, 2023
207
Let's see, where should i start...

In 2019 i met a girl on the internet and since then we talked frequently, pratically every day, and because of so many conversations we managed to get closer and find out more about each other's lives.

She vented to me about her personal problems and i also vented to her about my problems several times. We were very close and really liked each other. This may seem stupid but we have already reached web dating and someday, we would meet in real life to get to know each other in person. But i ended up losing contact with her at the beginning of this month, and since then i haven't had anyone to vent to and understand me. I lost the only girl who had contact with me and who really liked me precisely because of who i am, and not for reasons of appearance, etc...

I wish this hadn't happened, but now there's nothing i can do, i'll probably never see her again in my entire life.

I was lucky to have met such an incredible girl who cared about me, but now, we will never talk to each other again.

This honestly made me very sad. I've never had luck with relationships and i've never been able to get close to other girls, whether because of my personality or appearance issues and lack of confidence. I don't consider myself as a beautiful person, and that's because i really am not, and there are several factors in my life, such as bullying, that have made me feel worse about my self-esteem in general.

When Valentine's Day arrives i feel a little jealous of the couples out there. I would like to live next to someone and share good times with the person i love. I would like to try to get closer to other people but i don't think i would have the same luck, so it's very likely that someone like me will never be able to live in a real relationship with another person.

Anyway, i feel kind of empty now that i lost the only girl i liked and who really liked me, and considering that i don't have a chance with anyone else because of my problems, personality, appearance, etc... I'm thinking about ctb. I just wanted to be loved, that's all, but i better give up on that idea. It may be a futile reason for ctb, but this is just ONE of SEVERAL reasons. That's all.
 
RosySunsets

RosySunsets

Member
Oct 24, 2023
15
It feels like shit to lose someone so close to you, especially so suddenly. If I may ask, how did you lose contact? You don't have to answer that if it's too personal.

If it's any consolation you did manage to get this girl to like you, meaning that there is something about you that can definitely attract someone, so your desire for love may come to fruition, even if it's not with her.
 
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