I know I’m not worth the effort of keeping me alive

[Sadgirldaisy]

My family keeps helping me out financially and emotionally and I feel so guilty because I know it's not worth the effort of keeping me alive. I totaled my car (second time) and they're helping me out and I just…I know I'm not worth the help. I just want to end it so people stop putting resources into a person that's not worth keeping alive.

 

[Disaster]

That really sounds like some depression talk, to be honest. I think that people who are expensive to keep alive should receive help and support if they want to live. I believe that our productivity, and keeping it higher than keeping us alive, doesn't determine if we deserve to live. Do you also believe that if someone has totaled their car twice and is not independent financially, should therefore die? I do respect a decision of a reasonable person that they don't want to continue living. But your post clearly looks more like a cry for help.

 

[Pluto]

I know how you feel. I was in exactly the same situation at your age. It was horrible. It felt demeaning and dehumanising. I felt inferior to everyone.

What I learned over time was that there was more to the story. There had been a lot of abuse and scapegoating with the family that I didn't recognise because it was all I knew. I had had some psychological ailments like possible ADHD which had led to poor results in school. I'd never gotten help or support with anything, yet I'd been blamed for everything that went wrong. And my parents enjoyed the beat-up narrative that they are babying a grown adult and I'm a worthless POS and so they were perpetuating the toxic situation.

Years later I got my first full-time job and I expressed amazement to a friend that I had done so. I was completely convinced that I was incapable of working. So much of what I had gone through was brainwashing, self-fulfilling prophecies and a lack of much-needed support. I managed to progress from that point to eventually buy a house, though my sense of self has been damaged ever since, and I regret not focusing on my need for mental support as much as the need to get away from toxic parents via financial independence.

I would encourage you to look more deeply into the background and the history of this situation to see if you can figure out what is really going on.

 

[Sadgirldaisy]

I know how you feel. I was in exactly the same situation at your age. It was horrible. It felt demeaning and dehumanising. I felt inferior to everyone.

What I learned over time was that there was more to the story. There had been a lot of abuse and scapegoating with the family that I didn't recognise because it was all I knew. I had had some psychological ailments like possible ADHD which had led to poor results in school. I'd never gotten help or support with anything, yet I'd been blamed for everything that went wrong. And my parents enjoyed the beat-up narrative that they are babying a grown adult and I'm a worthless POS and so they were perpetuating the toxic situation.

Years later I got my first full-time job and I expressed amazement to a friend that I had done so. I was completely convinced that I was incapable of working. So much of what I had gone through was brainwashing, self-fulfilling prophecies and a lack of much-needed support. I managed to progress from that point to eventually buy a house, though my sense of self has been damaged ever since, and I regret not focusing on my need for mental support as much as the need to get away from toxic parents via financial independence.

I would encourage you to look more deeply into the background and the history of this situation to see if you can figure out what is really going on.

I've been trying to figure out what's going on for a while :/ I even had psychological testing done to see if I have a learning disorder or something. At one point I got diagnosed with adhd, but I think I'm just really really lazy and incompetent. Everything confused me and I'm apathetic about everything. I just don't care about anyone or anything.

 

[borderline-feline]

I definitely understand what that's like. At 25, I constantly feel like I'm leeching off of my father, and it makes me miserable. I'm sorry you've experienced enough pain to bring you to this point, and I hope you're able to free yourself from that pain.