I was just thinking this. I don't belong here. I don't 'human' right. I'm a perpetual outsider in this world. Then again, I always think... "Outside of what?" Well, female humans are repulsed by me. Male humans want to fight me. I never mesh well with a group because someone will decide that they don't like me. I feel like my soul/energy is alien to this world. This realm. I don't know why whatever created all of this would just randomly create something it doesn't like. That's kind of stupid, if you ask me. While I've always enjoyed watching people have a good time, I don't like that I don't have a group or tribe to belong to. I don't like that I'm totally alone on this planet. And the role that my family wanted me to play wasn't in harmony with my soul. They tried to break me down into their emotional punching bag, and I wasn't willing to let that happen. My momentum to ctb is mounting stronger and stronger because of what I believe death will be. For me (and this is just my opinion/belief), if I'm an alien energy then I'll be returned to where I came from. It'll be where I'm wanted and welcome. It'll be where I'm not clueless on how to exist within that realm. The human has too many made up, asinine rules for its existence. Too many flawed, hypocritical ideologies that lead to perpetual contradictions.
I'm not supposed to be here, and I'm not long for this world.