I keep picturing my dead body

[dust-in-the-wind]

I imagine different methods and how my body will look. It's really disturbing to picture myself dead even though I want to be dead. I also care because I don't want to overly traumatize who finds me.
Does anyone else think like this?

 

[VoidBlessed]

I also worry about traumatising someone who finds me, but our society views death in such an irrational way that they've left no other options for us other than to die in rather grisly ways. It's really sad and ultimately fair to no one, not us and not the people around us.

I'm not personally bothered by the idea of my own dead body because I see it as a shell that I'll shed eventually anyway, like an outfit. I don't think about how my shirt or pants look once I've tossed them in the laundry basket.

 

[MrSuicide]

Consider your methods. CTB by shotgun? Or jumping off/in front of something? Pretty violent scene. Rope, nitrogen? Not so much. But the fact is, a normal person finding your body will always be disturbed by the scene. Maybe your best bet is ensuring that a cop or paramedic finds you first.

On me: I do imagine what will happen and how I will look after I CTB. Difference is I actually think it's sort of awesome. One of the worst parts of my body, my face, will be gone as well as myself (the brain). Me and my body have been battling for a long time and I can't wait to get my final victory against it. We really aren't the same being and I don't want to wait to see my body change in more horrifying ways. No other options.

 

[lnlybnny]

I'm kinda terrified of imagining myself turning blue/chocolate brown from the SN and realizing I'm actually dying, alongside with all the other symptoms... scared it might trigger SI but it will be too late and I'll die being terrified. Wish I could go in total peace

 

[Surai]

I often imagine myself in a partial hanging and them finding me and my pale body. helps to prepare for a future I wont see, Its just matter of time

 

[attheend13]

I imagine different methods and how my body will look. It's really disturbing to picture myself dead even though I want to be dead. I also care because I don't want to overly traumatize who finds me.
Does anyone else think like this?

Yeah I think about it. It's hard to picture to be honest, and for some reason it is difficult to do in any detail.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I'm kinda terrified of imagining myself turning blue/chocolate brown from the SN and realizing I'm actually dying, alongside with all the other symptoms... scared it might trigger SI but it will be too late and I'll die being terrified. Wish I could go in total peace

I agree with you on the SN. That method does particularly frighten me for the reasons you stated.

 

[unknown_xav]

I kinda feel the same, I don't want to traumatise people involved or those that find me especially loved ones. But I think given sn is a bit less "messy" than other methods such as shooting I think its much more settling for me. But still I worry especially given how sn makes the body look, and also if there might be some mess from puking or anything the body removes post-death. But at the end of the day I guess even if it's sudden death there is always something unsettling given we don't always experience it like how it's normal for mortitian or forensic pathologist for example.

 

[enough of this]

I imagine different methods and how my body will look. It's really disturbing to picture myself dead even though I want to be dead. I also care because I don't want to overly traumatize who finds me.
Does anyone else think like this?

I haven't thought of it in that way.

In so many near-death experience accounts, I hear people talk about being more conscious than ever, looking at their body from a different vantage point, and feeling very neutral about it. One NDEer, Dianne Sherman, said, "It's as if someone said, "Pass the salt."" There's no concern about the body, whatsoever - total detachment. Don't let your picturing your body, disturb you. Or, better yet, don't picture your body.

And, I can understand your. maybe, wanting to look as you wish to be remembered, and the way you look bringing about as little trauma as possible in those who find your body. You have some control over that - choosing a method causing the least amount of visible, physical damage.

I don't know if you have an interest in NDEs, but if you do, here's one in which she addresses how she feels about her body and the circumstances around her after she had left her body for a while.

 

[Pryras]

I won't be using a violent method like a gun so my body will be recognizable but blue after taking the SN.

I will look uncanny for sure since I have lip blush on my face…so my ethnic skin will be bluish purple and my lips will be bright pink probably since they won't lose color.

 

[Valhala]

I'm kinda terrified of imagining myself turning blue/chocolate brown from the SN and realizing I'm actually dying, alongside with all the other symptoms... scared it might trigger SI but it will be too late and I'll die being terrified. Wish I could go in total peace

Don't worry, increased cyanosis occurs when you are already unconscious from SN.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Unfortunately I will die by suicide, otherwise plastination would be my choice.

 

[tiredash]

I also worry about traumatising someone who finds me, but our society views death in such an irrational way that they've left no other options for us other than to die in rather grisly ways. It's really sad and ultimately fair to no one, not us and not the people around us.

I'm not personally bothered by the idea of my own dead body because I see it as a shell that I'll shed eventually anyway, like an outfit. I don't think about how my shirt or pants look once I've tossed them in the laundry basket.

I was thinking in doing it in a hospital, but the mfs might end up saving me or worse, half saving me and being kept alive but with serious injuries and disabled. Maybe even try to get into the morgue, find an empty room and drink the cyanide... Altho it might be harder with inhaling nitrogen since it needs time

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Every human will end up dead being eaten by worms