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Flawnyx

Flawnyx

Member
Aug 15, 2025
5
I never imagined myself being on a website, telling the things I'm about to tell you all. Ever since I was young, I was like a ray of sunlight. I was happy with what I had. I was smart. I was energetic. I had talents and achievements I was proud of. I used to be the captain of my football team and would get great marks in my exams But after the coronavirus lockdown, my whole world turned upside down. I just sat every day playing video games and the result was me becoming short, ugly, and obese. And to the point that I even started forgetting things and becoming the black lamb of my family. I'm sure not a lot of users in this website are from a country like India, where I am from. And from the past year, I've been feeling very lonely and suicidal. I'm in my 11th grade right now and since 9th grade, I couldn't speak to others. I was very awkward and this resulted in me being distant from everybody else, including my parents. And now, even in a room full of people, I don't think my parents would ever choose me. And I'm pretty sure they'll choose my brother. I haven't been speaking to my dad for the past month. My mom sees me with hurtful eyes. Even though she smiles at me, I can tell that it is a hint of disappointment. I never had a real relationship with my brother. And right now, there is nobody in this world for me to live for. In a country like mine, nobody really sells drugs like sodium nitrite. And buying firearms is almost next to impossible unless you're a person of great importance. I just wish there was a way to restart my life and do things the right way. I'm afraid of stepping out of my room these days. Being afraid that people will judge me for who I am. No, I'm sure they already judge me. I am the example of a boy who has no friends, no love, no family at this point. My grades are also becoming low. And to the point that my parents are telling me, if I don't get this much percentage by the next exam, they'll abandon me. I just want to restart my life. And I would greatly appreciate it if anybody would give me a way out, which is extremely fast and extremely painless. I already attempted twice but failed via suffocation through a plastic bag. My first attempt lasted for a minute while the second lasted for a minute and a half. And I just couldn't. My second attempt was the most disappointing one. I could feel myself becoming unconscious but the scissors next to my hand, I just instinctively took it and just ripped the cover. I just want something like a drug, like an over-the-counter medicine or like a drug that will take my life fast. And I even thought of hanging but there is no obstacle that would bear my weight or strong enough. And I don't even want to jump off any building because I'm scared of walking out. So if any one has any way of helping me exit my life, I would greatly appreciate it.
 
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