Method i just want to go in peace

[toxictunes]

but i dont know how. Im scared to fail and end up worst than i am now. i dont have the "balls" to hang myself and im also scared of SN. my favorite way would be by a train. For some reason i guess it would be a painless death if im gonna put my head on the track. Just feeling very bad for the train driver i would write him a long letter where i will try to explain why i did cbt, why i didnt use another method and why he shouldnt feel bad about it. My second way would probably be jumping of a huge bridge (180 meters) … just thinking of jumping down somewhere scares the hell out of me. also under this bridge is just 1 small part with a concreted route, it would be easy to miss it and land in the meadow and maybe.. survive?
The third way (unrealistic way) would be to shoot myself, it's unrealistic bcs its almost impossible to find guns where i live like no one has one and even if, i dont have the money for it ^^ but i guess if i would be sure i wanna die by a bullet in my head i would safe some money, take a flight to the US and try it there lol
Idk .. im absolutely lost since years and my only wish since 2016 would be that i never existed. I wish my whole life never happened. There wasnt a single day in the last 2 years i didnt think of how to cbt.
So my question to yall would be how can i go in peace?

Im sorry for my bad english many words from google translate, i hope u can still understand.

 

[Al_stargate]

Sorry about your situation. Feel the same way, can't go on but don't have the balls to actually do it, for now. I have N which makes things easier, so don't have to think too hard. There are quite few methods described on this forum which I don't wanna get into for personal sake. It takes some research and effort like everything in life. Any violent method scares me as well, I think only someone in deep distress could go on with those.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just want peace, but I am trapped in this world as it is so difficult to leave. The fear of failure is what holds me back. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing, no one should have to resort to risky or painful methods to end their suffering. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, I understand how you feel, I have never wanted to exist but I am still here. I hope you find relief from your pain in whatever happens.

 

[toxictunes]

I also just want peace, but I am trapped in this world as it is so difficult to leave. The fear of failure is what holds me back. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing, no one should have to resort to risky or painful methods to end their suffering. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, I understand how you feel, I have never wanted to exist but I am still here. I hope you find relief from your pain in whatever happens.

i guess if there would be a peaceful exit which is 100% working it would be the best selling product on earth…im so sad to see u are in this forum since almost 2 years and u still dont know i came here in my darkest time, can't imagine what u going through.. thanks for your kind words.. u deserve love and happiness

Sorry about your situation. Feel the same way, can't go on but don't have the balls to actually do it, for now. I have N which makes things easier, so don't have to think too hard. There are quite few methods described on this forum which I don't wanna get into for personal sake. It takes some research and effort like everything in life. Any violent method scares me as well, I think only someone in deep distress could go on with those.

im not sure what is N but i guess i will find out here.. Im scared of all methods but i probably will take one of this three. but i always think about all this people who survived headshots,train suicide or jumping i dont want to end like that. My whole life i was so damn unlucky in every point of view.. i could really imagine to end up as vegetable lol.

Thanks for your respond i wish u all the best

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm sorry about where you are in your life right now. Personally, most of the methods you mention are absolutely terrifying to me. Only you can know what is OK for you. One thing, as far as using a gun, that method is not 100% either. Plenty of examples out there on that. Just like other methods you mention, could end up worse off. Your body fight or flight response can react on its own at the point of you squeezing the trigger, and you can end up not where you were trying to go. Just something to think about.

 

[toxictunes]

I'm sorry about where you are in your life right now. Personally, most of the methods you mention are absolutely terrifying to me. Only you can know what is OK for you. One thing, as far as using a gun, that method is not 100% either. Plenty of examples out there on that. Just like other methods you mention, could end up worse off. Your body fight or flight response can react on its own at the point of you squeezing the trigger, and you can end up not where you were trying to go. Just something to think about.

u are absolutely right. And thats probably the reason why im still here after all this years with a death wish after reading some train threads im also sure i wont ever do that… even when i like the idea of a german ICE train in max speed passing over me i just dont know at this point and i think we all struggling with the same problem, there isn't a easy way.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

u are absolutely right. And thats probably the reason why im still here after all this years with a death wish after reading some train threads im also sure i wont ever do that… even when i like the idea of a german ICE train in max speed passing over me i just dont know at this point and i think we all struggling with the same problem, there isn't a easy way.

It is VERY possible to "create" a way that is impossible to back out from.

 

[toxictunes]

It is VERY possible to "create" a way that is impossible to back out from.

i just want to leave this planet :( sad i dont know how

 

[locked*n*loaded]

i just want to leave this planet :( sad i dont know how

If that is true, you need to mitigate the flight or fight response. That's what I mean by creating a way. As an example only, a device (winch) that pulls the chair out from under you, which is controlled by a timer to activate at a predetermined time of your choosing. Basically, you'd just be standing on the chair waiting, noose on neck and hands securely strapped behind back. Understand though, there would be NO backing out by doing things this way. Unless there is some type of "act of god" at the exact moment a device would do this, like the electricity going out, or someone coming home, etc. It can only be done for certain methods, too.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I would do the train way if I could time it to where I'd be knocked out. I don't want to be aware of what happens to me.

 

[toxictunes]

If that is true, you need to mitigate the flight or fight response. That's what I mean by creating a way. As an example only, a device (winch) that pulls the chair out from under you, which is controlled by a timer to activate at a predetermined time of your choosing. Basically, you'd just be standing on the chair waiting, noose on neck and hands securely strapped behind back. Understand though, there would be NO backing out by doing things this way. Unless there is some type of "act of god" at the exact moment a device would do this, like the electricity going out, or someone coming home, etc. It can only be done for certain methods, too.

that actually sounds pretty good.. if i would cbt at home no one would find me for weeks, maybe even months lol. Im scared of hanging to be very painful. Also i guess i need to find a german instruction of hanging to understand everything im too stupid in what ever i do

I would do the train way if I could time it to where I'd be knocked out. I don't want to be aware of what happens to me.

It still is my favourite but i guess i will never try it since i did some research today.. i dont want to end without legs in a hospital. Im still wondering how people survive train accidents with 160 km/h and more.. Human bodys are admirable sometimes

 

[locked*n*loaded]

that actually sounds pretty good.. if i would cbt at home no one would find me for weeks, maybe even months lol. Im scared of hanging to be very painful. Also i guess i need to find a german instruction of hanging to understand everything im too stupid in what ever i do

Not meant as a "How-To". I take no responsibility if someone should take my post seriously. You can make just about anything if you really want. Something could be devised to squeeze a trigger on a gun, too, if so inclined. Hell, it may be possible, but much harder I'm sure, to devise something to pour N down your throat. Probably would have to insert some type of tube down your throat, though, and tolerate gag reflex, and have N poured into tube, because nothing I can think of would be able to make someone swallow.

But, then there is THIS (And I'm saying it LOUDLY): I SUBMIT THAT IF ANYONE HAS TO RESORT TO THESE TYPES OF MEASURES THEN THEY ARE NOT REALLY AT A PLACE WHERE THEY ARE SURE THEY WANT TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DROP THE MIC!

 

[WorthlessTrash]

that actually sounds pretty good.. if i would cbt at home no one would find me for weeks, maybe even months lol. Im scared of hanging to be very painful. Also i guess i need to find a german instruction of hanging to understand everything im too stupid in what ever i do

It still is my favourite but i guess i will never try it since i did some research today.. i dont want to end without legs in a hospital. Im still wondering how people survive train accidents with 160 km/h and more.. Human bodys are admirable sometimes

What if your head is the only thing on the tracks??

 

[toxictunes]

What if your head is the only thing on the tracks??

honestly i cant imagine how this isnt 100% deadly but i have read something about a mechanism on trains they made to avoid ppl doing it, it could push u away/ spin u around instead of driving over u which also ends with massive pain but probably not death. Someone also said staying in front of a train is more deadly than laying down on the tracks so im just confused about the train method. I dont want to mess it up