I just want to cry

[permanently tired]

I'm so tired of my life, I just want to be gone. I'm so close when I attempt hanging, I think I'm doing it right as I become disoriented and my limbs like jelly. I wonder if the noose is too tight or anything bc a portion of skin on my neck is peeling. I don't know what more I need to ctb. Now my neck hurts and I've flunked uni and I can't return home. I wish I was gone. I just want to sleep forever.

 

[Linda]

I think you have two options. (1) Figure out what is going wrong when you try to hang yourself, and do it better next time; or (2) Forget about ctb, at least for the moment, pick up the pieces of your life, have another go at living, and try to make it work. For (2) you would have to think about how to go about it, and since I don't know much about your circumstances I can't reallly offer any advice on that. But there will certainly be some possibilities open to you. If you are determined, there will be many. If you try (2) and it doesn't work, you still have the option to ctb in the future.

 

[MBG]

It sounds like you are suicidal because you are majorly depressed because you failed at college. Turn your life around! Get counseling/therapy. See if you have ADHD or other problem.

You're only a failure if you stop trying to improve any aspects of your life. You've only lost when you give up fighting to succeed.

Watch a bunch of Jordan Peterson YouTubes. Watch/read his 12 Rules for Life. Don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to how you were yesterday. Focus on daily self improvement and making progress improving all aspects of your life. Any progress is a success and will lift your spirits, make you happier and more confident and attractive.

Read success literature. Practice goal setting, time management, budgeting and putting your life in order. You'll be proud of yourself and respect yourself and soon others will too.

Establish Regular sleeping and eating times
Get Sunlight on your face each morning
Do Aerobic exercise (jog, bike, swim) at least 30 min at least 4x/week
Watch comedy at least weekend and mid week
Prayer giving thanks for blessings and praying about challenges

Or you can waste time and effort on SanSui, miss opportunities in real life and just keep despising yourself….

"Life" doesn't care either way.

The choice is yours.

MM vs Depression

 

[violetskies]

I've flunked uni and I can't return home. I wish I was gone. I just want to sleep forever.

i get how you're feeling. i was supposed to have graduated 2 years ago but depression made me have to take a break and now that i'm back im still depressed and missing every single deadline i have. i cry most nights and its exhausting. i don't want to be here either. i'm sorry you're going through this.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's certainly very much understandable feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, I find it so cruel and dreadful how we cannot just choose to sleep eternally, we shouldn't have to struggle so much to die. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you find peace eventually.

 

[Linda]

It sounds like you are suicidal because you are majorly depressed because you failed at college. Turn your life around! Get counseling/therapy. See if you have ADHD or other problem.

You're only a failure if you stop trying to improve any aspects of your life. You've only lost when you give up fighting to succeed.

Watch a bunch of Jordan Peterson YouTubes. Watch/read his 12 Rules for Life. Don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to how you were yesterday. Focus on daily self improvement and making progress improving all aspects of your life. Any progress is a success and will lift your spirits, make you happier and more confident and attractive.

Read success literature. Practice goal setting, time management, budgeting and putting your life in order. You'll be proud of yourself and respect yourself and soon others will too.

Establish Regular sleeping and eating times
Get Sunlight on your face each morning
Do Aerobic exercise (jog, bike, swim) at least 30 min at least 4x/week
Watch comedy at least weekend and mid week
Prayer giving thanks for blessings and praying about challenges

Or you can waste time and effort on SanSui, miss opportunities in real life and just keep despising yourself….

"Life" doesn't care either way.

The choice is yours.

MM vs Depression

I don't think a post like that is very helpful. When you are down, those sorts of exhortations mean nothing. If it was easy for OP to do those sorts of things, they wouldn't be on this site. It would be better to show that you understand the situation that OP is in - preferably because you have been there, or somewhere close - and provide support of a kind that is better tailored to that situation. I know you mean well, but your post is unlikely to do any good, and may do some harm.

 

[MBG]

I don't think a post like that is very helpful. When you are down, those sorts of exhortations mean nothing. If it was easy for OP to do those sorts of things, they wouldn't be on this site. It would be better to show that you understand the situation that OP is in - preferably because you have been there, or somewhere close - and provide support of a kind that is better tailored to that situation. I know you mean well, but your post is unlikely to do any good, and may do some harm.

Just because something is simple does not mean it is easy or ineffective.

After my terminal disease diagnosis I spiraled downhill into depression. Never went out. Curtains drawn. Stayed in bed most of the day. I just hated life. No spouse, no kids, no reason to wait for death. Looked forward to going to a Swiss clinic and finishing it rather than what this disease will do to me over the next few years.

Then I came across Dr Peterson's videos and saw how my lifestyle was making me miserable and made small significant changes ("clean your room"). Going to bed and getting up at regular times or getting dressed and going for a 20 min walk were major accomplishments. I'm still terminal but less miserable and can see happiness could be in my future in a month or two. And, yes, I still have a terminal disease that will become horrible in a few years (best guess), and yes, I still plan on taking the Swiss Option then. But at least I can be happier until then.

I don't know the OP. I don't know what they know or what they've tried so I shared what helped me. Try everything before throwing everything away. Any improvement in mood feels good.

But because a change is simple does not imply it is easy or ineffective.

 

[Linda]

Just because something is simple does not mean it is easy or ineffective.

After my terminal disease diagnosis I spiraled downhill into depression. Never went out. Curtains drawn. Stayed in bed most of the day. I just hated life. No spouse, no kids, no reason to wait for death. Looked forward to going to a Swiss clinic and finishing it rather than what this disease will do to me over the next few years.

Then I came across Dr Peterson's videos and saw how my lifestyle was making me miserable and made small significant changes ("clean your room"). Going to bed and getting up at regular times or getting dressed and going for a 20 min walk were major accomplishments. I'm still terminal but less miserable and can see happiness could be in my future in a month or two. And, yes, I still have a terminal disease that will become horrible in a few years (best guess), and yes, I still plan on taking the Swiss Option then. But at least I can be happier until then.

I don't know the OP. I don't know what they know or what they've tried so I shared what helped me. Any improvement in mood feels good.

But because a change is simple does not imply it is easy or ineffective.

I'm glad it worked for you. But when that has happened it is best to be careful about how you pass on the message to someone whose circumstances and personality may be very different from your own. Giving a bright, cheerful, upbeat, everything-is-alright-with-the-world message to someone who is down is unlikely to be helpful. The way you deliver a message can be as important as the message itself. Perhaps you could think about all the different ways it might be possible to get your basic message across. Then you will have a good toolbox from which you can select to meet the needs of any particular person here. And thanks for responding constructively to my post.