Help I just want some help

[Izumi_81]

Hey guys,
First of all sorry for my bad English, I'm here just to share some thoughts.
What is the meaning of being alive when all of this is just pain, sadness, and anger? I simply don't understand why this thing called life even exists.
My life doesn't worth living at all, of course in my perspective, because all of the people around me that will look at me will think that my life is perfect, I'm healthy, I have a good financial condition and because of that I shouldn't "complain" or say that my life is not good, because I don't have reasons to say it. And that's the thing that frustrates me the most, why I always feel like I'm not good enough, honestly, I don't even deserve my life, I'm not the person that I suppose to be, I just serve to disappoint others.
I've been thinking of killing myself lately, I just don't want to cause more pain to others, but at the same time, I guess even if I disappear, inevitably I'll cause pain to some people, even if is only because of the shock.
So what I should do and how? What I should do to not cause more pain to others?

I'll appreciate any advice and am sorry for bothering.

Thanks

 

[SilentSadness]

Unfortunately life has pain no matter what you do, only you can decide whether to ctb or not. It's completely understandable that you would want to because there's so much more suffering than happiness in this toxic reality. I don't know that there is a meaning to anything, perhaps just to torture people until they die and taunt them with promises of happiness. I hope that you make the right decision, and that you can find peace from the sadness and anger.

 

[Necrojojo]

Alright you came for advice so I'm gonna offer it.

There is no such thing as "meaning" in anything. The great philosopher Nietzsche was correct when he developed the theory of nihilism. But in my honest opinion, that is only the foundational stone upon which you should build your own philosophy. Nothing really matters, so if you wish, you can choose what matters for you. Be selfish. Be narcissistic, even. Every time I get suicidal thoughts, I think: "Is this really what I want to think? No! I'll think something more fun instead!"

Is it childish? Absolutely. Does it get the job done? Most of the time. The pain does return, sadly, but at least I get temporary bouts of happiness. That's all I can really ask for tbh

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing could never be something that is meaningful in any way, all that life is, is just a tragic and unfortunate consequence of evolution where we exist just to suffer, deteriorate and die. The idea that existence has any "meaning" is simply a delusion. People may try to invent meanings to justify the way that life is, but the reality is that existing is completely pointless and unnecessary. But there certainly does seem to be no real relief from suffering in this cruel world, at least to me it will always be preferable to not exist, as it's a burden to be conscious and it's a curse to exist in this world.

 

[MoonlitNight]

I dont know if my answer will help since this was not posted in the recovery section, but to me you sound like you're asking for reasons on "why life?" so i'll answer based on that.
Between this sadness, pain and anger. There's two best friends meeting after a long parting, could be a human or a pet. between these sadness there are people donating to better the lives of others. between this pain there may be people who wish the best for you, there are people who try with the best of their ability to help others not experience it.
For me these moments of happiness make life worth living. (my personal fav being my loving partner and good food)

From what you said, (disappointing others) you seem to be trying to prove yourself to a goal, may i ask what it is?

 

[anguila_anguila]

I've struggled with this same question since i was just out of primary school. If anyone has a real answer, I'd love to hear it.
I guess many people are lucky enough not to ever ponder this question, and the others manage to somehow find a meaning that works for them.

Maybe the best way is to say "bollocks to it" and just find activities that give you some measure of happiness. For me that involves being in nature or experiencing new things, in particular, dangerous activities. What is it that you enjoy doing?

 

[SexyIncél]

Be narcissistic, even. Every time I get suicidal thoughts, I think: "Is this really what I want to think? No! I'll think something more fun instead!"

Brilliant points!

Just be careful, narcissists generally lead miserable lives. Maybe fun for some weeks, but such a trap. A life of thin-skinned humiliation, after the high of being admired wears off

But I agree, it's fun and educational to break society's taboos. Not only are most societies boring, they train their populations to act like unimaginative cowards afraid to do what's right. Being willing to die, fewer things cause fear