I just want a pause

[Clayface]

It's not so much that death is appealing or unappealing more that life is so godforsakenly unbearable with the logistical guarantee that it will never improve for me that I just don't want to live anymore. I can't do it but then again I'm too weak to kill myself and be happy. I have firearms access, 556 rifle, 9mm handgun. I could do it easily but I'm scared for some reason. If there was just a pause button for life I would be content to do that but this feels like the only option.

 

[sometimelater]

i dont get it, what would the pause button do for you?

 

[MrMegalomaniac]

Do you have any obligations such as studies/work, helping family or something?
Because even if you can't take a break from life in a literal sense, maybe you can take a break from whatever is wearing you down?
I don't know your situation and what's causing your thoughts so maybe it's lousy advice, but that's the closest thing to a break button...

 

[Dawnfang]

Peronally, I'd raher a fast forward button, and then ffw to the end.

 

[Tobacco]

It's so unfair that we can't really take a break whenever.

 

[Clayface]

Do you have any obligations such as studies/work, helping family or something?
Because even if you can't take a break from life in a literal sense, maybe you can take a break from whatever is wearing you down?
I don't know your situation and what's causing your thoughts so maybe it's lousy advice, but that's the closest thing to a break button...

am in the unique position that I haven't really many "true" obligations in the sense of mission critical life sustaining things. l volunteer and this is largely the basis of non domestic chore obligations and my most dependable social circle though this has in recent months become less enjoyable. Have considered taking a break from it, but my group would notice and feel sad that I had stopped coming. More and more I just want to retreat into escapes electrical chemical and otherwise. I am at wits end. Worlds within and without and all realms and planes between are decaying and I just don't know if I can keep fighting.

Perhaps I'll give more thought to a more meaningful withdrawal from volunteering?