I just want a partner

[natali4]

Until recently, I couldn't conceive of one sided love. I thought it was impossible for a human to love someone and not be loved in return because it made no sense to me. But now I have experienced it and know that it's actually possible and it really sucks so freakin much

I understand! I tried convincing myself that it's not love if it's one sided. But I did love them. And now I've become hateful, and sometimes wish that they get hurt and rejected too. I know it's not healthy and right to wish that for someone, but I feel hurt

 

[Insomniac]

I understand! I tried convincing myself that it's not love if it's one sided. But I did love them. And now I've become hateful, and sometimes wish that they get hurt and rejected too. I know it's not healthy and right to wish that for someone, but I feel hurt

I feel you. I too can get bitter to the point of wishing harm onto some people. One sided love is one of the most unbearable experience a human can go through.

And that's why I decided to stop giving a fuck about average or above average people. I only care about the ugly, the poor, the mentally ill etc because they're the only one that will actually value me.

 

[natali4]

I feel you. I too can get bitter to the point of wishing harm onto some people. One sided love is one of the most unbearable experience a human can go through.

And that's why I decided to stop giving a fuck about average or above average people. I only care about the ugly, the poor, the mentally ill etc because they're the only one that will actually value me.

I agree, life favors the beautiful, rich and healthy. There will always be a power imbalance and life is always going to be unfair to certain groups of people.

 

[Computer Blue]

"Relationship love" is an illusion I think. It seems to be almost entirely transactional with a side benefit of having a partner so you are not lonely … that is if you can stand to be around that person every single day for the rest of your life. The reason relationship require "a lot of work" is because of the expectations that people have of the relationship. One person is always more involved that the other and will be needy or dependent on the attention of the other person and jealous/upset when they don't get it. So, relationships require a lot of attention, time energy and work BECAUSE … someone in the relationship requires a lot of attention, time and energy from the other person. Being alone sucks too. Typical of life … sometimes your only options are crap.
The details of the transactional bit should be self evident.

 

[ZoraMax]

The pain of love is quite possibly the greatest pain there is. I'm in love with a girl who does not return my affections and I'm sure this will be the final straw for me. I have been having intense suicidal thoughts for around 2 years now with the frequency and severity increasing. This just might be enough for me to end it.

 

[Insomniac]

The pain of love is quite possibly the greatest pain there is. I'm in love with a girl who does not return my affections and I'm sure this will be the final straw for me. I have been having intense suicidal thoughts for around 2 years now with the frequency and severity increasing. This just might be enough for me to end it.

Do you sometimes feel intense hate/resentment towards that person?

 

[ZoraMax]

Do you sometimes feel intense hate/resentment towards that person?

I hate the way she makes me feel, but it's not her fault she does not feel the same as I do. I do not wish any harm on her, I just wish to rid myself of these feelings.

 

[Insomniac]

I hate the way she makes me feel, but it's not her fault she does not feel the same as I do. I do not wish any harm on her, I just wish to rid myself of these feelings.

I understand. Honestly, I cope by hating the person. I know it's bad but I just can't help it. Hate feels better than unreciprocated love..

 

[Computer Blue]

The pain of love is quite possibly the greatest pain there is. I'm in love with a girl who does not return my affections and I'm sure this will be the final straw for me. I have been having intense suicidal thoughts for around 2 years now with the frequency and severity increasing. This just might be enough for me to end it.

The pain of unrequited love is literally a drug addiction. I felt the same as you about a year and a half ago … she was the only woman I have ever really been interested in … the ONE! So, trust me when I say that time heals all wounds … it is not just a platitude. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her multiple times a day, but the pain (drug addiction) truly does get less with time. I don't even really remember the feeling anymore at this point.

 

[ZoraMax]

I understand. Honestly, I cope by hating the person. I know it's bad but I just can't help it. Hate feels better than unreciprocated love..

Yes that is completely understandable, I got over my first heartbreak by hating her completely, but my ex cheated and betrayed me, my current love has not done anything wrong.

 

[Roseate]

I'm not the person you replied to but I want to say you should also speak to yourself only. Just because you don't feel bad about never being in relationship doesn't mean all are like that. Yes relationship is risky but we are suicidal. If I found love but it ended badly then I will return to the state I'm already now. I've nothing to loss.

Did you say we need therapy to be fixed? You are funny.

Yes you do have something to lose. You won't just return to the state you're in. You're going to be worse. I just don't think it's worth it. I'm beyond fucked in the head and hey I have major fear of relationships and anything that's not anger so my opinion is highly biased.

 

[Sans]

I've never had one either and I'm well below average in terms of attractiveness.

It's not the biggest reason, but it plays a substantial role in my desire to CTB.

 

[Roseate]

I've been in 3 loveless relationships. I loved them, but never received it in return. It truly sucks that people have such a hard time loving each other.

They weren't for you. A lot of things come into play. It could be that you just were not it for them, they can't force themselves to love you. And it could be they have a fear of commitment, they only like you, they only want a partner to have sex with, they just want to have fun, they aren't ready, they are busy, or they just don't want to.

 

[death137]

Yes you do have something to lose. You won't just return to the state you're in. You're going to be worse. I just don't think it's worth it. I'm beyond fucked in the head and hey I have major fear of relationships and anything that's not anger so my opinion is highly biased.

Is there anything final other than death? No. I'm already planning to ctb so I've nothing to lose.

Just because it isn't worth it for you doesn't mean it isn't for everyone.

 

[Roseate]

Is there anything final other than death? No. I'm already planning to ctb so I've nothing to lose.

Just because it isn't worth it for you doesn't mean it isn't for everyone.

Honestly forget it you don't understand and won't understand what I mean.

 

[death137]

Honestly forget it you don't understand and won't understand what I mean.

I understand what you are said but I'm just saying our point. You don't know our pain so stop it.

 

[Computer Blue]

The pain of love is quite possibly the greatest pain there is. I'm in love with a girl who does not return my affections and I'm sure this will be the final straw for me. I have been having intense suicidal thoughts for around 2 years now with the frequency and severity increasing. This just might be enough for me to end it.

I hope you take some time to heal first!

 

[littleloup]

I believe that you shouldn't lower your standards for anyone. Love will come when you least expect it is what I'm always told, but honestly it and being in a relationship comes in its own set of problems and pain.