Do you ever get any match on Tinder or OKCupid ?
To be honest, I get hundreds of matches and messages on dating apps but feel too insecure to reply. I forgot to mention that I suffer from social anxiety.
I also never had a gf and I am almost 30.
But for me I know why, I have social anxiety.
I am shy with women.
And I look average and have no money or good job.
Oh yeah... forgot to mention that. I have crippling SA as well
Try to find a job first. And if you're looking for love, you'll be waiting a long time. Plenty of relationships are loveless. There are barely that many relationships with couples that are truly in love with each other. So you'll be waiting forever. And some people go through life never experiencing real true love.
This is so true... most relationships are indeed loveless. I think I put too much pressure on myself for falling in love. I just need to get over the fact that love is a thing of the past. No longer relevant in our societies...
Spoiler alert: Love won't make you happy.
I know, because it's fleeting :( and once I get it, I'll worry about keeping it. Life is hell...
Two things that you wrote stood out to me (and please know this is not a criticism, just something I saw in what you wrote that I did not quite understand or do not have a full picture on). You wrote:
What specific standards did you have that you lowered?
And, I am not sure if this is what you meant, but you also added, no relationshp, no job, no money, toxic family.
I am wondering if you are looking for a relationship (or something external) to get out of the problems of no job, no money, and a toxic family?
It wasn't clear to me so it is hard to respond, but, I can say that I am so sorry you feel that you are in so much trouble. It is a horrible place to be.
<3
I meant that I no longer go for attractive and tall guys. I'm okay with being a fat, old or ugly person.
To be honest, yes. I'm looking to use my relationship as an escape to my problems. I know it's really bad but I'm tired of suffering alone. I need someone to have my back at least once in my life.
And I need that person to have money because if he doesn't, we won't be able to be together (need money to travel to him and live together). Since I'm broke... God I just want a way out of my mom's house. And I want to be loved and cared for by someone. I know this is unrealistic and it'll probably never happen :( I'm so stupid and embarrassed by what I desire.
If you honestly believe romantic companionship will finally make you happy, you're in for an even bigger treat from life than you have now.
I agree but I feel like it's never a good idea to chose loneliness. As humans, we need others. Just because I suffer from a mental illness shouldn't mean that I need to give up on companionship. I'd rather suffer in someone's arms than alone...
I don´t even mind ,cause now I do things that give me joy :P
This is great! I found that what gives me the most joy is giving attention and love to people who are below me socially, economically etc. Valuing them and giving them all my time and affection, instead of wasting my time chasing people above me who don't even notice that I exist.
Dating apps work against the average guy tbh. If you aren't at least a 9/10 or higher with perfect facial symmetry, height, and good looks you'll be lost in a sea of good looking men. It's 100% visual and people swipe on looks alone since there's no real way to display your personality and there are more desperate men on dating apps and not enough women for them all so the competition is stiff :(
Tbh I used to do that but not anymore. Now I mostly swipe on below average guys but they are too insecure to reply and act really awkward unfortunately. I often get ghosted by them lmao.
