i just took anti depression med for the first time. i have a lot of resources ive started. i am so ready to get better. i want to be normal again.

[iCryInMySecretSpot]

I just took my first anti depression med ever 2 minutes ago.

I have monthly checkups with a nurse, therapist, counsellor, school's sexual assault coordinator, and a psychiatrist.

I am on short term disability so im not working and getting paid, and I have accessibility with my school to get some help with coursework deadlines.

I am trying everything I can to get better. I have reached out to all the resources I was provided. Please. Please let me get better. I want to work out again. I want to be able to meet friends. I want to become productive, able to shower, and have ambitious goals. I want to be able to cook and eat healthy.

Please. It is not my fault I became depressed.

 

[if_i_make_it]

Good luck my friend!! Please remember the most important thing is to be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

 

[SorrowfulDrugUser]

Ahhhh I can remember being in your position. I'm quite jealous of you. They worked for me but unfortunately not for long. They just ended up making me feel like a numb zombie by the time my body adjusted to having a tolerance and honestly I'd rather personally feel depressed so I can feel something then feel nothing. However, I ended up experimenting with a class of drugs called benzodiazepines later on. My psychiatrist refused to prescribe me them under the guise they're quite addictive unlike your typical anti-depressant, and although that's true, at least they work. I had to get them without a prescription but fuck Alprazolam is a life saver for me. Alprazolam (also known as "Xanax") is a benzodiazepine that binds to specific sites on the GABAA receptor. It is commonly used for the medical treatment of panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), or social anxiety disorder (SAD). I suffer from both anxiety an depression and that shit has been a life saver. Granted, I don't allow myself to do it everyday as to not become physically dependent or addicted but whenever I do take it throughout the week it captures the effects anti-depressants first had on me before I developed a tolerance to them. Another drug quite similar to Alprazolam I use is Etizolam. Now, I think Etizolam is the greatest drug of all time IMO for helping deal with specifically anxiety and depression. And I mean the greatest. Period. No question. Better than Ketamine or Psilocybin or LSD assisted therapy tbh (not that they didn't work... but the feelings always seemed short lasted after I sobered up). The problem with etizolam (particularly if you live within the US) is that it's near impossible to come by after it got banned in China and India (where it's mainly distributed from). I'm only able to still do it because I have a hefty stock I've kept tucked away for years. I'd pay ridiculous quantities to get Etizolam imported again. It kills me that I'm beginning to run low on it because idk what I'll do when I run out. Etizolam is a Thienodiazepine that unlike Alprazolam I can take nearly everyday without much drawbacks (withdrawal symptoms). Truly that drug is a lifesaver and without these two I genuinely probably would've already committed suicide by now. Life goes from miserable to genuinely pleasant while on these drugs. When it comes to benzos specifically: a milligram a day keeps the suicidal ideations away. lol.


Anyways... sorry for the rant. Just reading this made me reminisce on when I had first been prescribed SSRI's. I hope you end up living a very peaceful and prosperous life on these new meds your on. It's always nice seeing positive recovery posts like these. Cheers to a good future friend :)

 

[mars2027]

I hope it goes well for you.

 

[iCryInMySecretSpot]

Anyways... sorry for the rant. Just reading this made me reminisce on when I had first been prescribed SSRI's. I hope you end up living a very peaceful and prosperous life on these new meds your on. It's always nice seeing positive recovery posts like these. Cheers to a good future friend :)

ur good man. i liked reading what you said. if i end up feeling numb, ill just hop off the ssri. i at least feel both happy and sad depending on the day