
Kobusu
Writer
- Oct 18, 2021
- 268
I need to share this somewhere. I can't tell my ex because she's done with me and I can't tell my friends because they'll call the cops. So I'll post it here. I just survived partially hanging myself. It took a good half hour to get the courage to lean down on my knees and do it. I remember counting to ten and blacking out somewhere around seven.
When I woke up on the floor I initially didn't remember anything but after an hour or so I remember it all. I remember being unconscious and my SI kicking in and me shaking and kicking and my body kicking and fighting and slamming. I wasn't even conscious for it, but it still happened.
I don't think there's any message I'm trying to share in this, I just figured this was the best place to talk about it. My neck is bruised from the noose being so tight and my SI kicking in and trying to rip it off. It was a horrible experience yet all I could do when i came-to was scream and cry because I'm still here. Still, I can't really talk I can only scream. Every time I try to speak it just comes out as a scream.
Maybe I did it wrong. I intend to try again tomorrow. If anyone has questions I'd be happy to answer.
When I woke up on the floor I initially didn't remember anything but after an hour or so I remember it all. I remember being unconscious and my SI kicking in and me shaking and kicking and my body kicking and fighting and slamming. I wasn't even conscious for it, but it still happened.
I don't think there's any message I'm trying to share in this, I just figured this was the best place to talk about it. My neck is bruised from the noose being so tight and my SI kicking in and trying to rip it off. It was a horrible experience yet all I could do when i came-to was scream and cry because I'm still here. Still, I can't really talk I can only scream. Every time I try to speak it just comes out as a scream.
Maybe I did it wrong. I intend to try again tomorrow. If anyone has questions I'd be happy to answer.