![Sakura.](/data/avatars/l/92/92734.jpg?1716069818)
Sakura.
Chciałbym, żeby wszystko się już skończyło.
- May 1, 2024
- 54
No, I won't do anything to myself, so you don't have to worry. I just want to capture this fleeting feeling I'm feeling right now.
***
I live with my parent who is currently on vacation and I am basically alone in my house.
The day they went on vacation was the day I suddenly lost all my appetite. I never have any problem with it, and now I can't bring myself to eat anything...
And it's not because of some emotional breakdown, because I feel exactly the same as I do every day.
It's like my body is demanding to be destroyed.
It's like it's demanding that I fast and finally do it...
Even when I finally eat something, I feel guilty because it means I'm ruining my chance to fast and do it...
***
I study (I'm currently on summer break) in a city far away from where I live. I don't have family, friends or other people there who could see through my plans and stop me if I decide to catch the bus.
So soon I will have ideal conditions to CTB almost every day...
I had such conditions before.
However, I didn't have what I have now - access and knowledge of methods.
I couldn't do it then, but now I will be able to...
I wonder how I will feel with such perfect conditions every day...
***
I live with my parent who is currently on vacation and I am basically alone in my house.
The day they went on vacation was the day I suddenly lost all my appetite. I never have any problem with it, and now I can't bring myself to eat anything...
And it's not because of some emotional breakdown, because I feel exactly the same as I do every day.
It's like my body is demanding to be destroyed.
It's like it's demanding that I fast and finally do it...
Even when I finally eat something, I feel guilty because it means I'm ruining my chance to fast and do it...
***
I study (I'm currently on summer break) in a city far away from where I live. I don't have family, friends or other people there who could see through my plans and stop me if I decide to catch the bus.
So soon I will have ideal conditions to CTB almost every day...
I had such conditions before.
However, I didn't have what I have now - access and knowledge of methods.
I couldn't do it then, but now I will be able to...
I wonder how I will feel with such perfect conditions every day...
Last edited: