Venting I just can’t do it.

[evanave]

I am literally sitting here with a tie around my neck. I just failed my partial attempt. I know it will work if i just commit to blacking out, but I always pull myself out of it right before it happens. I'm such a pussy.

 

[WretchedDreams]

You're not a pussy. Keep in mind that the Survival Instinct is going to jump and take away your executive functions like the little imp it is. The body is made - by evolutionary biological pressure or divine design - (your call) to self-preserve, that's all.

If you want to continue, it may be necessary to take an anxiolytic, preferred drug, or hit the bottle (I like a whisky myself) to lower stress levels and ease the process. It's not easy, but then living isn't either.

In any case, there are many resources here to deal with S.I. Be well my friend, a hug. May you achieve that what gives you peace.

 

[evanave]

You're not a pussy. Keep in mind that the Survival Instinct is going to jump and take away your executive functions like the little imp it is. The body is made - by evolutionary biological pressure or divine design - (your call) to self-preserve, that's all.

If you want to continue, it may be necessary to take an anxiolytic, preferred drug, or hit the bottle (I like a whisky myself) to lower stress levels and ease the process. It's not easy, but then living isn't either.

In any case, there are many resources here to deal with S.I. Be well my friend, a hug. May you achieve that what gives you peace.

thank you <3 i think i may drink a bit and turn on some of my favorite music. then try again later tonight.

 

[WretchedDreams]

thank you <3 i think i may drink a bit and turn on some of my favorite music. then try again later tonight.

Good luck! I'll be rooting for you.

 

[boblong]

Nothing to be ashamed of .

 

[FuneralCry]

It's not straightforward to die after all, I don't believe one is cowardly for struggling, I find it cruel how people cannot just have the option to easily free themselves from this existence in a peaceful, reliable way and have to resort to methods like that in the first place. But anyway best wishes.

 

[ceilng_tile]

The nice thing about ctb is that there's no expiration date on it. You can always try again later, assuming it's still what you want.

 

[Justnotme]

I am literally sitting here with a tie around my neck. I just failed my partial attempt. I know it will work if i just commit to blacking out, but I always pull myself out of it right before it happens. I'm such a pussy.

Hello sister/brother in misfortune.
I understand you. I have exactly the same problem as you.
As soon as I start to lose consciousness, an animal Inexplicable fear triggers in me.

It must be overcome... I don't know how, but people do it, which means it's possible for us.

Don't despair too much
Eventually you will gain strength and overcome this line if you still need to leave.

 

[mortuarymary]

Don't rush it friend. You will eventually overcome it and let yourself blackout. SI is strong at the moment, so don't rush.

 

[Justnotme]

In addition to my previous message: may I ask you in what position you are doing a partial hanging and how wide is your tie? And is your head down or looking up? And do you tie a tie right under your cheekbones or in the middle of your neck?

 

[rozeske]

Don't be hard on yourself, SI is what is keeping most of us here. Hopefully we will eventually overcome it. Hope you find your peace soon whatever you decide on

 

[evanave]

In addition to my previous message: may I ask you in what position you are doing a partial hanging and how wide is your tie? And is your head down or looking up? And do you tie a tie right under your cheekbones or in the middle of your neck?

I'm kneeling forward with my head down. I'm using the thinner end of the tie around my neck since it seems to apply more pressure. I have been tying it just above my Adam's apple.

 

[Justnotme]

I'm kneeling forward with my head down. I'm using the thinner end of the tie around my neck since it seems to apply more pressure. I have been tying it just above my Adam's apple.

Thanks for the reply. We're with you, don't despair. People have been doing this for centuries. And we will succeed

 

[evanave]

What were you feeling leading up to when you stopped? Tingling, lightheadedness, ear ringing? Of you think that you were about to black out then not only are you doing better than many of us but you're very close to probably doing it. You'll probably get it soon enough

My vision began to blur, and my hands and feet became numb. I felt tingling all over.

 

[evanave]

If only you knew exactly how long you needed to go on for to blackout. When you knelt down were your knees actually touching the floor?

Yes. All the force applied was from my body weight slightly leaning forward.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's difficult to defeat SI. You're not a pussy and not a coward! I hope you find peace whatever you decide to do. Good luck!