It's a good thing I never made any kids. Even when I was just a teen I knew that I will ctb one day. This was the main reason why I never made any offsprings. I didn't want my early death to devastate them, also I didn't want them to inherit my terrible mental illnesses.
Your kids would never be free of suffering
Suffering is a permanent state of existence
It is universal and affects all
Some are more able to sense it than others
I imagine it like this:
In an alternate universe, all of us are resting on a bed made of a millions sharp nails
Some people lying on their backs, others on their stomachs, others on their sides
We are all suffering in this scenario from excruciating pain. No matter how we're turned or what posture we're sleeping in, this is extreme, absurd pain
Even the people on their stomachs cannot see the bed of nails because their eyes have been gauged out from resting on it (for example poor people who keep breeding incessantly)
There are some people who do see the bed though. Maybe they feel the pain in their backs from the nails, or because they're a little more sensitive. Maybe they are restless and turn around a lot in the bed. Those people see their situation, their universal suffering. I think that's what suicidal people are (or at least those that aren't impulsively suicidal)