Story I hope someone reads this

[sapphoslastpoem]

I know I come on here a lot to vent and I'm sure it gets annoying for many of you, I apologize. But this community has helped me feel safe about speaking out about my experiences and why I want to ctb. I feel safer here and maybe it's ignorant of me, but I feel I can trust most people here with some of the most sensitive stuff I have going on in my life. I just wanted to give a bigger explanation into how I got here, I'm hoping maybe someone will read and respond, it would help me feel seen but I'm sure this won't get any traction like usual.

I believe that I am a targeted individual (TI). For those who don't know, TI's are people who are being "gang stalked" by large groups of people for various reasons (usually to do with people who are important to the government, people selling illegal substances online, criminals, even people who just pissed off the wrong person). Gang stalking is a sort of psychological warfare that is taken out on a TI, usually by following this person around, hacking into their social media accounts, phones, laptops, breaking into their homes, preventing TI's from getting jobs or going to school. How did I become a TI? I'm not a criminal but I pissed off someone who had governmental connections. And I know many of you who do read this, will probably assume I'm some crazed, schizophrenic or drug user. I am neither. I am sane, I don't see things that aren't there, I never use drugs. The things I'm experiencing are real and unfortunately, my only escape will be ctb.

It started two years ago when a group of three classmates (who I'd never talked to before) in my English class decided one random day to take photos of me in class, follow me around in their cars on campus, around my apartment off campus and hack into my social media. I thought I was going crazy when I kept seeing a tan, GMC truck driving around my apartment complex and in it, the smirking face of my one classmate. I eventually had to stop showing up to class, these three classmates would spend all of class staring and whispering about me to each other and it made me so anxious, I couldn't tolerate it. The professor wasn't much help either, she'd blown off my concerns because "she couldn't see them doing that".

I eventually left school, I developed severe ptsd and agoraphobia as a result of the fear of being followed. I was driven out of my job at an Amazon warehouse, I'd had my twitter account hacked into by someone who was conveniently from the same home state as one of my stalker classmates. I got rid of all my accounts, all my social connections, all of my access to the outside world and became a shell of a person. I spent a year and a half trapped inside, too scared to come out, my own fiancé couldn't coax me out of the house, I'd break down and hyperventilate before even getting to the car.

This last summer I got tired of it and decided to get out, I started hanging out with friends again, going to stores, living normally. It was scary but I thought that maybe the situation was finally over and I could live again

But it's not. I made the mistake of putting myself back into the same situation. I wanted to continue my education, at a different school but it's started again. Two popular women in my class, immediately started giving me bad looks the moment I stepped into class on the first day, it started with looks, whispering and texting to each other (probably about me), then I noticed one of them taking photos of me. Lately they've been trying to isolate me, keep me from making friends and ruining the friendships I already have in class. I'm anxiously waiting for the day they start following me around. I've already told my professor, but it's the same story. He doesn't see how there could be a problem, why these two girls would want to do anything to me. They never believe me, no one ever does.

I'm tired, I wanted so badly to just have my life back but it's very apparent that people around me are going to continue making it so that life is impossible, so that my only option is to ctb. Although, I believe they are enjoying watching me suffer slowly. I don't want to give them that satisfaction anymore. I'm ready to die, I'm tired of my life becoming entertainment for these people. I hope that there isn't an afterlife, and if there is, that it's at least a bit more decent than exist has been here on earth. Sorry for the long story.

 

[strawberry_lemons]

im so sorry your in such a scary and horrible postion. if anything start keeping tabs of people who take pics and take some back and compile them so if something were to happen you would give them a start to locate perps. if you ever wanna talk im here <3

 

[darksoul]

Curious what did you do to piss off the person with government connections?

 

[expired_dreams]

I read your post. Don't know how I can help because that's not something I've ever experienced. That sounds difficult. I can empathize on the last paragraph. I wish you well in your studies if you continue.

 

[Scythe]

I'm really sorry this is happening to you, you should go to the police for help if it escalates and maybe right now it's in your head? Try talking to some people in school and see how they respond, you also probably won't be the only one the two girls are harrassing if that is the case. You can try to find the other people who are being isolated and either get then to complain to the teacher with you or make friends with them. Talking it out with your current friends is also a good idea.

 

[sapphoslastpoem]

Curious what did you do to piss off the person with government connections?

I had a crush on one of the classmates who was involved in the stalking almost two years ago. I found her attractive and my autistic brain couldn't stop looking at her in class. She obviously got weirded out by it (either just because of the staring or because I was also a woman or both) and then her and her friends started taking photos of me and following me around

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Curious what did you do to piss off the person with government connections?

Ditto this^

Is this happening in a country other than the US, or Canada, or maybe most European countries?

 

[HighFlight]

Your story is getting attention here. I'm sorry you're going through all of that, and its forced you to this decision point. I've never been in a similar situation, but do know what it's like to always feel like people are watching and judging you.

If you feel like you are in danger, find a safe person to help - friends, school medical center, guidance counselor, dean, etc. Otherwise, keep a log (dates, times, location, people) and take your own pictures of them. This will help you prove the problem while gaining some control of your life back.

I wish you all the best and hope they will leave you alone so you can get back to your education in peace.

 

[darksoul]

I had a crush on one of the classmates who was involved in the stalking almost two years ago. I found her attractive and my autistic brain couldn't stop looking at her in class. She obviously got weirded out by it (either just because of the staring or because I was also a woman or both) and then her and her friends started taking photos of me and following me around

Seems more like an action from these 3 people instead of the government.

It is very expensive to shadow/tail someone for a long period of time.

Remember the police and secret services have bosses who want results so even if you were reported for stalking/creeping they might check it out find nothing and move on. Police and secret services have a limited time and money budget per case.

 

[HighFlight]

I had a crush on one of the classmates who was involved in the stalking almost two years ago. I found her attractive and my autistic brain couldn't stop looking at her in class.

I might be overly simplifying things, but wonder if you inadvertently scared her. And what you're seeing is a reaction from her being scared. This could also explain why it's happening again in a new location.

When you talked to the professor, did you explain this part to them? If not, it might be worth trying again with this information. Could it be a misunderstanding? Could better communication be a solution?

Just a thought...

 

[snowlance]

Fuck this was difficult to read. I'm so mad. You didn't do anything wrong and your being treated this way. Is there a way you can get the police involved? Maybe you can move far away from there or something? I fucking hate people

 

[Amidaa]

Hehe, that was a long read but i do understand your pain. this existence is a hellish and cruel place to be in and even without our consent to wanting to be here. well everyone probably din't have any saying in to be placed in this hell hole. but at least what we can do is not make it worse for others then needed we all suffer in certain ways. and sadly we are human we are a toxic and parasitic being that mostly think about our self most of the time. and those who are sympathetic and not so cruel to others are the one we get the worst time in this shit hole. and sadly stuff like that goes under the radar because we are good at hidding the true nature of our self. i dunno what the real reason is that they would start stalking you like what there end goal is and even if you know there true intention. to me it looks like they are pathetic and have way to many free time to do that. if i where you i would just try other stuff before ctbing like there are limits how for a person want to follow you. unless that person isn't sane anymore or way to much money and free time, or they just envy you so much for some reason they feel the need to stalk you till the edge of the world. if that where the case i feel like you have a W in the book for someone to go that far. anyways i'm blabbering my stupid mouth out, i do really wish you the best and hope the storm will calm down. no matters what your path will be hope the journey will be smooth to peace.

 

[Suicidal Ideation]

Im sorry you're going through such a horrible and undeserved experience.
None of the things you mentioned justify them constantly harassing you every chance they get. This is obviously getting out of hand. One person in this thread mentioned maybe you scared her but it really doesn't justify ruining your entire life at all if that were the case. No person who's just 'scared' would go to such lengths for such a small reason.

They obviously get a kick out of it. They're terrible, sadistic individuals who revel in your mental decline. I hope it stops. Maybe try contacting the authorities and tell them to investigate, please. It would be disheartening to see you end your life over people who don't have one.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Have you ever tried confronting them, or interupting them when you feel like they are talking about you- or following you? Not in an agressive way. Just ask them something about your course homework or something. If they are bullies- they probably are enjoying the fact they make you feel meek and scared. Maybe that would snap them out of it. Bullies can be cowards- they don't enjoy being confronted. If they really are talking about you- then it might make them aware that you are aware of it and that you're not afraid to confront it. If you find evidence of it- tell them you aren't willing to put up with it. You'll report them to the teachers or police if serious enough. You're there to study- everyone has the right to do that in peace.

I'm not saying I don't believe you but- is it possible that your initial experience may be making you paranoid now? I guess it's possible your classmates could be texting about you. Still- youngsters spend most of their lives on their phones from what I can see. It could be a whole numbrr of things they are talking about. They shouldn't be bitching about people behind their back but if they did do it once- it doesn't mean they are doing it every time they are on their phone. I kind of doubt there's that much to say about anyone.

If you are noticing these people giving you dirty looks- presumably it's because you are looking at them? Could it be that you're staring at them also? People find it uncomfortabke to be looked at too long. It may be that they are doing that subconsciously because it feels like an invasion of privacy. I don't know but I think it's worth questioning why these people are acting like this.

Of course- if it's a narcissist you got entangled with, I think all sorts of crazy behaviour is possible. I've experienced that. They will commonly enlist other people to do their dirty work by speading lies and rumours about someone and trying to turn everyone agsinst them.

Sadly, children tend to group together to pick on those they find different. I remember that from my own school. That's usually children though. By the time people are young adults- you'd hope they had more maturity/ more things to do. I imagine it's a real investment of time to stalk someone. I guess I'm just not all that clear on the motive. Children I suppose have the time to launch some vendetta and pick on a kid. We have less time as we grow up though- so, hopefully you won't experience the same problem as before. I hope you get this resolved though. It's got to feel debhilitating.

 

[DeadHead]

I believe you. You don't even have to have done anything to become a TI, the powers that be enjoy causing misery and basically use TIs to experiment on.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible what you've had to endure, it certainly disgusts me how humans create so much harm in this world. But anyway I wish you the best and I hope you find freedom from the suffering you were forced to endure.

 

[leloyon]

I hate how anyone who complains about gangstalking is labelled a schizophrenic when this could easily happen, especially with the right narrative against someone.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. These people are demons.

 

[experimentee]

I'm very sorry to hear the suffering you are going through. As you suggest, it's compounded by the fact that very few people are aware of or believe in the concepts of 'gangstalking' or 'targeted individuals'.

But I have at least some understanding of what you are going through as I also strongly suspect that I am a TI, and I have been experiencing some of the things you outlined in your post too.

I just want to validate your feelings. Deliberately making people suffer for the entertainment of others is ridiculously cruel and entirely unfair. And if it helps, I have also reached the same conclusion as you - that my gangstalking will continue indefinitely. It is no wonder you have suicidal thoughts. Almost anyone would if they would be in the same position. Just to be clear though, I am not encouraging or discouraging suicide itself.

Thank you for sharing. I take no pleasure in hearing about other people suffering in a similar way to me, but I take some comfort in knowing I am not entirely alone and I hope you can take a tiny bit of comfort too.

I hope, by some miracle, things improve for you in the future.