sapphoslastpoem
Student
- Jun 23, 2022
- 110
I know I come on here a lot to vent and I'm sure it gets annoying for many of you, I apologize. But this community has helped me feel safe about speaking out about my experiences and why I want to ctb. I feel safer here and maybe it's ignorant of me, but I feel I can trust most people here with some of the most sensitive stuff I have going on in my life. I just wanted to give a bigger explanation into how I got here, I'm hoping maybe someone will read and respond, it would help me feel seen but I'm sure this won't get any traction like usual.
I believe that I am a targeted individual (TI). For those who don't know, TI's are people who are being "gang stalked" by large groups of people for various reasons (usually to do with people who are important to the government, people selling illegal substances online, criminals, even people who just pissed off the wrong person). Gang stalking is a sort of psychological warfare that is taken out on a TI, usually by following this person around, hacking into their social media accounts, phones, laptops, breaking into their homes, preventing TI's from getting jobs or going to school. How did I become a TI? I'm not a criminal but I pissed off someone who had governmental connections. And I know many of you who do read this, will probably assume I'm some crazed, schizophrenic or drug user. I am neither. I am sane, I don't see things that aren't there, I never use drugs. The things I'm experiencing are real and unfortunately, my only escape will be ctb.
It started two years ago when a group of three classmates (who I'd never talked to before) in my English class decided one random day to take photos of me in class, follow me around in their cars on campus, around my apartment off campus and hack into my social media. I thought I was going crazy when I kept seeing a tan, GMC truck driving around my apartment complex and in it, the smirking face of my one classmate. I eventually had to stop showing up to class, these three classmates would spend all of class staring and whispering about me to each other and it made me so anxious, I couldn't tolerate it. The professor wasn't much help either, she'd blown off my concerns because "she couldn't see them doing that".
I eventually left school, I developed severe ptsd and agoraphobia as a result of the fear of being followed. I was driven out of my job at an Amazon warehouse, I'd had my twitter account hacked into by someone who was conveniently from the same home state as one of my stalker classmates. I got rid of all my accounts, all my social connections, all of my access to the outside world and became a shell of a person. I spent a year and a half trapped inside, too scared to come out, my own fiancé couldn't coax me out of the house, I'd break down and hyperventilate before even getting to the car.
This last summer I got tired of it and decided to get out, I started hanging out with friends again, going to stores, living normally. It was scary but I thought that maybe the situation was finally over and I could live again
But it's not. I made the mistake of putting myself back into the same situation. I wanted to continue my education, at a different school but it's started again. Two popular women in my class, immediately started giving me bad looks the moment I stepped into class on the first day, it started with looks, whispering and texting to each other (probably about me), then I noticed one of them taking photos of me. Lately they've been trying to isolate me, keep me from making friends and ruining the friendships I already have in class. I'm anxiously waiting for the day they start following me around. I've already told my professor, but it's the same story. He doesn't see how there could be a problem, why these two girls would want to do anything to me. They never believe me, no one ever does.
I'm tired, I wanted so badly to just have my life back but it's very apparent that people around me are going to continue making it so that life is impossible, so that my only option is to ctb. Although, I believe they are enjoying watching me suffer slowly. I don't want to give them that satisfaction anymore. I'm ready to die, I'm tired of my life becoming entertainment for these people. I hope that there isn't an afterlife, and if there is, that it's at least a bit more decent than exist has been here on earth. Sorry for the long story.
I believe that I am a targeted individual (TI). For those who don't know, TI's are people who are being "gang stalked" by large groups of people for various reasons (usually to do with people who are important to the government, people selling illegal substances online, criminals, even people who just pissed off the wrong person). Gang stalking is a sort of psychological warfare that is taken out on a TI, usually by following this person around, hacking into their social media accounts, phones, laptops, breaking into their homes, preventing TI's from getting jobs or going to school. How did I become a TI? I'm not a criminal but I pissed off someone who had governmental connections. And I know many of you who do read this, will probably assume I'm some crazed, schizophrenic or drug user. I am neither. I am sane, I don't see things that aren't there, I never use drugs. The things I'm experiencing are real and unfortunately, my only escape will be ctb.
It started two years ago when a group of three classmates (who I'd never talked to before) in my English class decided one random day to take photos of me in class, follow me around in their cars on campus, around my apartment off campus and hack into my social media. I thought I was going crazy when I kept seeing a tan, GMC truck driving around my apartment complex and in it, the smirking face of my one classmate. I eventually had to stop showing up to class, these three classmates would spend all of class staring and whispering about me to each other and it made me so anxious, I couldn't tolerate it. The professor wasn't much help either, she'd blown off my concerns because "she couldn't see them doing that".
I eventually left school, I developed severe ptsd and agoraphobia as a result of the fear of being followed. I was driven out of my job at an Amazon warehouse, I'd had my twitter account hacked into by someone who was conveniently from the same home state as one of my stalker classmates. I got rid of all my accounts, all my social connections, all of my access to the outside world and became a shell of a person. I spent a year and a half trapped inside, too scared to come out, my own fiancé couldn't coax me out of the house, I'd break down and hyperventilate before even getting to the car.
This last summer I got tired of it and decided to get out, I started hanging out with friends again, going to stores, living normally. It was scary but I thought that maybe the situation was finally over and I could live again
But it's not. I made the mistake of putting myself back into the same situation. I wanted to continue my education, at a different school but it's started again. Two popular women in my class, immediately started giving me bad looks the moment I stepped into class on the first day, it started with looks, whispering and texting to each other (probably about me), then I noticed one of them taking photos of me. Lately they've been trying to isolate me, keep me from making friends and ruining the friendships I already have in class. I'm anxiously waiting for the day they start following me around. I've already told my professor, but it's the same story. He doesn't see how there could be a problem, why these two girls would want to do anything to me. They never believe me, no one ever does.
I'm tired, I wanted so badly to just have my life back but it's very apparent that people around me are going to continue making it so that life is impossible, so that my only option is to ctb. Although, I believe they are enjoying watching me suffer slowly. I don't want to give them that satisfaction anymore. I'm ready to die, I'm tired of my life becoming entertainment for these people. I hope that there isn't an afterlife, and if there is, that it's at least a bit more decent than exist has been here on earth. Sorry for the long story.