Venting I hit rock bottom tonight and all I want to do is CTB.

[PoisonTeaTime]

Hello, I am new here. I think I have finally hit rock bottom tonight. I have cussed out my best friend/roommate and told two other online friends that I will finally be CTB, or so I plan, but he along with my boyfriend refuse to let me do it. They know of my long standing battle with crippling depression and now that I talked all this smack, I fully plan on doing it. No matter how many times I have tried to tell them to piss off and leave me alone and how much dying will finally make me be at peace for once in my miserable life, they keep latching onto me like annoying f***ing pests.

They can't get it into their tiny brains that dying is my only wish. I do have and appreciate my family who have my best interests at heart and will feel guilty for leaving them, but at the same point, I'm that far gone where I could not care less.

I NEED to die tonight. No matter how scared I may be or how miserable it may make people feel, this is a now or never situation for me.

 

[Reuthry]

I hope you can find peace regardless of what you choose to do. Best wishes.

 

[PoisonTeaTime]

I hope you can find peace regardless of what you choose to do. Best wishes.

Thank you very much. It's such a breath of fresh air to find kindred souls that don't force "IT ALWAYS GETS BETTER, DON'T GIVE UP" down your throat.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly cannot stand people who refuse to accept suicide as a valid option despite the fact that it's our existence not other people's and we aren't even obligated to continue existing here. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, best wishes.

 

[Cyndaquil]

It is so sad that people feel they can decide about others people lives.
Wish you the best :D