I have two kids, just don’t know what to do

[oneeyed]

Anyone heard from op? Just hope she didn't ctb while the kids are present. Hopefully she got help.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Anyone heard from op? Just hope she didn't ctb while the kids are present. Hopefully she got help.

Yeah, little strange she hasn't chimed back in. Although, she's probably very tired with the kids. It sounds like she's way over tired. That's probably some of her problem to a degree. She probably fell asleep.

 

[Huntfish34]

Heck who knows, it's not the easiest thing to conclude upon after her last few comments. She sounded quite adamant to do the deed to me. Idk?, Thoughts and prayers to her in Whatever may have happened. ..

 

[uselesslife2002]

God I feel awful for her. Where the fuck is the stupid idiot who got her pregnant ? He can't help? I get it having kids is a huge burden and more when you're depressed. This makes me sad and never want kids so I can ctb anytime

Yeah, little strange she hasn't chimed back in. Although, she's probably very tired with the kids. It sounds like she's way over tired. That's probably some of her problem to a degree. She probably fell asleeo

 

[locked*n*loaded]

God I feel awful for her. Where the fuck is the stupid idiot who got her pregnant ? He can't help? I get it having kids is a huge burden and more when you're depressed. This makes me sad and never want kids so I can ctb anytime

Yeah, there's a lot of that kind of thing in this world where the sperm donor is nowhere in the picture. A really huge burden having kids when you're depressed AND alone. I hope she's still OK.

 

[SeenMoreThanEnough]

I've spend the whole night awake the whole morning screaming. Im so close to Ctb but have two little ones. Single mum no one to help. Zero family. I'm sat here crying with my baby sleeping son in other room and I'm so close. No one to help me. Feel like my kids deserve better my life is unbearable. I really can't take this another day. Still have to look after kids though I'm suffering extremely distressed.
What do I do? I can't do this for another day, I just need some peace please
What method is best

ngl, you sound like you need a babysitter, not a method.

 

[MideonNViscera]

No suicide when you have kids, unless you think your presence is actually worse than your absence. Sorry, but it's the hand you dealt yourself.

 

[StringPuppet]

ngl, you sound like you need a babysitter, not a method.

Babysitters cost money though unfortunately, she might not be in a great place financially either

 

[exhausted2314]

Hi everyone,

I thought I'd come back to say thank you everyone who offered support. You all made a difference to me when I was intensely distressed. Just reading your messages was a massive comfort to me. This website gets a bad names sometimes but honestly you all helped me out of the fog. There was no one else at that point so I'm extremely grateful I'm still on the fence if I should ctb but thankfully I'd never do it in a sane mind infront of my kids or without them being taken care or first. I ended up ringing the Samaritans just for someone to talk to. That helped massively. But it was all of you who took the time to reach out that helped me feel grounded. Thank you so much once again , not only did you help me but you prioritised my kids well being and that made me realise there are people that care .

 

[Forever Sleep]

Hi everyone,

I thought I'd come back to say thank you everyone who offered support. You all made a difference to me when I was intensely distressed. Just reading your messages was a massive comfort to me. This website gets a bad names sometimes but honestly you all helped me out of the fog. There was no one else at that point so I'm extremely grateful I'm still on the fence if I should ctb but thankfully I'd never do it in a sane mind infront of my kids or without them being taken care or first. I ended up ringing the Samaritans just for someone to talk to. That helped massively. But it was all of you who took the time to reach out that helped me feel grounded. Thank you so much once again , not only did you help me but you prioritised my kids well being and that made me realise there are people that care .

I'm sure we're all relieved that you are still with us and that you reached out for help. I'm glad to hear it helped. Thank you for letting us know.

I hope you will continue to reach out for the help available out there if you choose to continue. You have a lot on your plate and deserve support. All the best.

 

[Regen]

I really understand. Having children and nobody help is more exhausting then anybody who dont know this can imagine. And then struggling with depression or other deep problems is worst.

I think, it can be a really good idea to escape this situation. But give your children only a little more days and organize for them another family with the help of government. The trauma for them ist less if you do that first for them. Say them, you do it for them. They will feel that you do it for them because of love. This can save their own lifes in future. Dont give them your own pain. Imagine what in detail will exactly happens when you commit suicide without preparing. I really know how difficult this is. I really know.

Do this last thing for them and then you are free.

I know you are fighting, it is painful. You are a brave mum that you dont hurt your kids, that's not always easy with this deep pain.

It is a fail of the people/the land to let their mothers lonely.......!!

 

[stilhavinightmares]

Hi everyone,

I thought I'd come back to say thank you everyone who offered support. You all made a difference to me when I was intensely distressed. Just reading your messages was a massive comfort to me. This website gets a bad names sometimes but honestly you all helped me out of the fog. There was no one else at that point so I'm extremely grateful I'm still on the fence if I should ctb but thankfully I'd never do it in a sane mind infront of my kids or without them being taken care or first. I ended up ringing the Samaritans just for someone to talk to. That helped massively. But it was all of you who took the time to reach out that helped me feel grounded. Thank you so much once again , not only did you help me but you prioritised my kids well being and that made me realise there are people that care .

I am so happy you're feeling a bit better and are still here with us. Love to you and your littles.

 

[Raven2]

@exhausted2314 glad you felt you had our support. And that you are feeling better than what you were. Keep reaching out to whoever you can in order to get the support you need. I hope your taking care of yourself and little ones.

 

[exhausted2314]

My child's dad is so horrible. He's on YouTube and is an influencer. I wish I could expose him but I know no one would care. He claims to be a woman rights activist but he's left me with a baby on my own. He got me pregnant intentionally promised to support me and be there for me then left me when she was 2 days old. I had a c section and couldn't even walk around my
Flat and I was own my own with no help and two kids. He's got an mini army
Of followers and it just crushes me. He talks to my on WhatsApp but blocks me
Whenever I try to express my feelings. I'm so depressed it feels like the world is validating my abuse.

 

[HoneyandGlass]

He should be exposed. He's a fake woman activist. He can't even treat his kids' mum decently. Horrible. I'm so sorry you are treated this way. You don't deserve this in any manner and nor do your kids. I really hope you can find a way through and take back your life, take back the power. That would be excellent revenge. Again, I am sorry you are going through this. I cannot begin to imagine this pain and difficulty. Please keep reaching out.

 

[exhausted2314]

He should be exposed. He's a fake woman activist. He can't even treat his kids' mum decently. Horrible. I'm so sorry you are treated this way. You don't deserve this in any manner and nor do your kids. I really hope you can find a way through and take back your life, take back the power. That would be excellent revenge. Again, I am sorry you are going through this. I cannot begin to imagine this pain and difficulty. Please keep reaching out.

Yes he's awful, on Twitter right now he's tweeting about depression , the nerve ! He literally got reported to social services for leaving me in such a vulnerable state. The midwife were shocked when I turned up to the clinic on my own when my daughter was 5 days old . They said "are you all on your own and you've just had a c section ?" I broke down in tears and said yeh the dad has left me. They said they can't let me go home with two kids it's not safe so they reported the situation to social services to get me some help. I remember holding my newborn at home just completely lost. But for her I had to be strong and somehow managed to struggle through on my own. But now all the ptsd has hit me hard. I can't see anything related to pregnancy other wise I break down. I love my kids though. He's honestly the definition of evil. If anything happenes to me I plan to fully expose him before I go. To prevent other women falling into his trap.

 

[Obliviate]

My child's dad is so horrible. He's on YouTube and is an influencer. I wish I could expose him but I know no one would care. He claims to be a woman rights activist but he's left me with a baby on my own. He got me pregnant intentionally promised to support me and be there for me then left me when she was 2 days old. I had a c section and couldn't even walk around my
Flat and I was own my own with no help and two kids. He's got an mini army
Of followers and it just crushes me. He talks to my on WhatsApp but blocks me
Whenever I try to express my feelings. I'm so depressed it feels like the world is validating my abuse.

Expose his bitch ass. Fake ass inhumane terrible people deserve to rot in hell and he will. Let the truth prevail. When justice is not served it must be acquired through unjust means. Go to the media if he's that popular, they would love a story like that and will back you.

 

[exhausted2314]

Expose his bitch ass. Fake ass inhumane terrible people deserve to rot in hell and he will. Let the truth prevail. When justice is not served it must be acquired through unjust means. Go to the media if he's that popular, they would love a story like that and will back you.

I really want to, I think I will. I'm just gathering the strength to make a video about him. Thank you for the support, your messages are giving me strength

 

[Unending]

Yes he's awful, on Twitter right now he's tweeting about depression , the nerve ! He literally got reported to social services for leaving me in such a vulnerable state. The midwife were shocked when I turned up to the clinic on my own when my daughter was 5 days old . They said "are you all on your own and you've just had a c section ?" I broke down in tears and said yeh the dad has left me. They said they can't let me go home with two kids it's not safe so they reported the situation to social services to get me some help. I remember holding my newborn at home just completely lost. But for her I had to be strong and somehow managed to struggle through on my own. But now all the ptsd has hit me hard. I can't see anything related to pregnancy other wise I break down. I love my kids though. He's honestly the definition of evil. If anything happenes to me I plan to fully expose him before I go. To prevent other women falling into his trap.

Wow, he is tweeting about depression? I'm feeling second hand rage, that's just preposterous considering the position that he literally put you in. I can't stand when "influencers" or whatever internet personalities put on these acts of benevolence and goodwill just to do stuff like this in their personal lives. Humans are flawed by nature but come on now... That's just insane. You shouldn't have had to deal with his abandonment during such a big life event.

 

[exhausted2314]

Wow, he is tweeting about depression? I'm feeling second hand rage, that's just preposterous considering the position that he literally put you in. I can't stand when "influencers" or whatever internet personalities put on these acts of benevolence and goodwill just to do stuff like this in their personal lives. Humans are flawed by nature but come on now... That's just insane. You shouldn't have had to deal with his abandonment during such a big life event.

Yep, he's a seriously evil individual. He's uses any situation just to get a few likes. He's said to me before that suicide is for cowards and only idiots kill them selves. Then on his videos he'll say "please ring helplines if you're suicidal , is fine to reach out for help" it's actually vile. He promised to buy me a buggy when my baby was smaller and hs told me he'd get it when he gets paid. That day came around and I see him in Amsterdam on holiday and he's posting pic of himself getting high. I was too scared to ask him about the buggy so I just brought it myself. It's like he love torturing people psychologically.

 

[Pluto]

Having a respectable public persona combined with a sadistic nature behind closed doors is typical of narcissistic personality disorder. The old saying goes, street angel, house devil. I remember seeing Nfather in a social setting once and his personality was not recognisable at all - he was funny, cheerful, intelligent and the life of the party.

I found out quickly that if I dared to try and explain to outsiders he was a closet sadist, I would come under attack myself. There was a viciousness to the response I got from people, as if I was a dirtbag randomly attacking a man who symbolises all things warm-hearted and happy about life. In the end, I had to let him win and subsequently face the world alone - which hasn't gone well.

Know that your ex will fight viciously, including shamelessly employing slander, defamation, threats and who knows what else. You are already vulnerable, while he has tremendous support. Don't make the mistake that I did, and give him the satisfaction of dealing the fatal blow because you try and battle an entire cult by yourself.

It would be extremely satisfying to see justice served here, but be sure to go about it in the smartest possible way, and know what to expect when he sees his fragile ego under attack. Ideally, you need your own army of support. I feel that a good feminist forum would have more resources and advice to handle this effectively.

 

[exhausted2314]

Having a respectable public persona combined with a sadistic nature behind closed doors is typical of narcissistic personality disorder. The old saying goes, street angel, house devil. I remember seeing Nfather in a social setting once and his personality was not recognisable at all - he was funny, cheerful, intelligent and the life of the party.

I found out quickly that if I dared to try and explain to outsiders he was a closet sadist, I would come under attack myself. There was a viciousness to the response I got from people, as if I was a dirtbag randomly attacking a man who symbolises all things warm-hearted and happy about life. In the end, I had to let him win and subsequently face the world alone - which hasn't gone well.

Know that your ex will fight viciously, including shamelessly employing slander, defamation, threats and who knows what else. You are already vulnerable, while he has tremendous support. Don't make the mistake that I did, and give him the satisfaction of dealing the fatal blow because you try and battle an entire cult by yourself.

It would be extremely satisfying to see justice served here, but be sure to go about it in the smartest possible way, and know what to expect when he sees his fragile ego under attack. Ideally, you need your own army of support. I feel that a good feminist forum would have more resources and advice to handle this effectively.

Thank you so much , yes my mother sounds like your father. Its awful to go through this. And you're so right his little army of followers do what ever he wants. I will hopefully get advice on how to deal with this. Part of me feels like he wants to see me ctb. He has no empathy at all. He's like dealing with an really sadistic brick wall. I'm actually scared of him.

 

[Pluto]

Thank you so much , yes my mother sounds like your father. Its awful to go through this. And you're so right his little army of followers do what ever he wants. I will hopefully get advice on how to deal with this. Part of me feels like he wants to see me ctb. He has no empathy at all. He's like dealing with an really sadistic brick wall. I'm actually scared of him.

Yes, sadly having an Nparent often leads to attracting similarly dark partners. Being neglected becomes all we know. There are wonderful support groups out there, though, and I'm sure some people have learned to have healthy relationships.

It hurts to say it, but yes, he would be glad to see you CTB, in part because it would eliminate the threat of his unmasked personality being exposed, and partly because he would enjoy literally getting away with murder. It is scary dealing with these people, because all basic rules of ethics do not apply. It's even worse since we expect people to actually support us, not torture and murder us with a smug smile on their face.

Having given it some thought, I still think that your best bet would be to share your story with the feminist community, which will include some social influencers and maybe even some people in your area who can offer other forms of support. I hope that they would be only too happy to give you a powerful helping hand in bringing your story to light. I would dearly love to see you turn this situation around, but please don't attempt it alone.

 

[exhausted2314]

Yes, sadly having an Nparent often leads to attracting similarly dark partners. Being neglected becomes all we know. There are wonderful support groups out there, though, and I'm sure some people have learned to have healthy relationships.

It hurts to say it, but yes, he would be glad to see you CTB, in part because it would eliminate the threat of his unmasked personality being exposed, and partly because he would enjoy literally getting away with murder. It is scary dealing with these people, because all basic rules of ethics do not apply. It's even worse since we expect people to actually support us, not torture and murder us with a smug smile on their face.

Having given it some thought, I still think that your best bet would be to share your story with the feminist community, which will include some social influencers and maybe even some people in your area who can offer other forms of support. I hope that they would be only too happy to give you a powerful helping hand in bringing your story to light. I would dearly love to see you turn this situation around, but please don't attempt it alone.

I always think that too, some part of my subconscious was attracted to him because it was my mum all over again. But yes he is scary. I mean literally scary. It's like he doesn't have normal emotions. He lies so much and he's been caught out lying so many times. One thing I did which was the smartest thing I could ever do was not put him on the birth certificate. He was furious when he found out but I said to him you blocked me and left me when she was two days old how could I have told you to come along anyway ? But that saved my daughter from ever being taken by him thankfully

He definitely has npd, in fact sometimes it even looks a bit like anti social personality disorder. And I'll defo try and find some feminist to help me but I'm still scared he'll hurt me in some way. I'm genuinely terrified of him.

 

[Pluto]

He definitely has npd, in fact sometimes it even looks a bit like anti social personality disorder. And I'll defo try and find some feminist to help me but I'm still scared he'll hurt me in some way. I'm genuinely terrified of him.

Indeed; I call them 'Dark Triads'. As my psychologist has pointed out, they are all much the same. A bundle of revolting tricks to bring themselves constant adulation and avoid getting exposed for what they are.

It is a scary situation, but if he makes any sort of threat, you will have grounds to alert the police and pursue a restraining order. You have rights and lots of power too, and a good reason to put up a fight to save yourself and ensure the best for your children. I hope that you get lots of care and support and can perhaps start to rebuild some faith in humanity. :)

 

[exhausted2314]

Indeed; I call them 'Dark Triads'. As my psychologist has pointed out, they are all much the same. A bundle of revolting tricks to bring themselves constant adulation and avoid getting exposed for what they are.

It is a scary situation, but if he makes any sort of threat, you will have grounds to alert the police and pursue a restraining order. You have rights and lots of power too, and a good reason to put up a fight to save yourself and ensure the best for your children. I hope that you get lots of care and support and can perhaps start to rebuild some faith in humanity. :)

Thank you for your kind words, you've helped me to process this whole terrible situation. I feel these types of people are predators, they harm people with no remorse and it's terrifying. Yet, they seem to thrive in life when many good decent people struggle to get by and are plagued with loneliness and isolation. We all deserve a better world

 

[Obliviate]

I say 100% expose him but do not rush it and take a second to sit back and think of a genuine strategic plan with methods that will ensure your safety and of your children as well because @Pluto is 100% correct, he will seek out revenge in any form, he will try gaslight, manipulate you and even try to have fake sympathy towards you. The media will eat up a story like that but do go in smartly. Have backup such as possibly speaking to a lawyer about suing him, having protection etc. Now he sounds like he is corrupted and has connections so just be cautious in every step you take. But I really hope you meet the right people and make the right connections that will stand with justice instead of the bribery/corruption. Gather as much evidence and make MANY copies of it.

 

[membo]

No suicide when you have kids, unless you think your presence is actually worse than your absence. Sorry, but it's the hand you dealt yourself.

Your lack of empathy, last sentence especially, is cruel. I also find it ironic you're on a pro-choice suicide forum pushing your views onto somebody else's right to choose.

--

I'm sorry for your situation, but I'm glad things are looking more positive than they were on the night of your initial post. I can't say I understand all of it, but I do have two small kids, so I sympathize with being in the position of constant screaming, crying, and being unable to leave. Add on all the other difficult things you're going through, it must have been unbearable.

 

[Givenuponlife]

Hi everyone,

I thought I'd come back to say thank you everyone who offered support. You all made a difference to me when I was intensely distressed. Just reading your messages was a massive comfort to me. This website gets a bad names sometimes but honestly you all helped me out of the fog. There was no one else at that point so I'm extremely grateful I'm still on the fence if I should ctb but thankfully I'd never do it in a sane mind infront of my kids or without them being taken care or first. I ended up ringing the Samaritans just for someone to talk to. That helped massively. But it was all of you who took the time to reach out that helped me feel grounded. Thank you so much once again , not only did you help me but you prioritised my kids well being and that made me realise there are people that care .

I've been following this thread and I'm glad you've reconsidered. Excellent news! I wish you the best of luck for yourself and your kids and hope you all had a decent Christmas, all things considered.

 

[MideonNViscera]

Your lack of empathy, last sentence especially, is cruel. I also find it ironic you're on a pro-choice suicide forum pushing your views onto somebody else's right to choose.

Well when they're dead we'll just show the kids your post and I'm sure the moral superiority will be an acceptable replacement for their parent. I mean fuck, we wouldn't want to have empathy for them would we?