I've spend the whole night awake the whole morning screaming. Im so close to Ctb but have two little ones. Single mum no one to help. Zero family. I'm sat here crying with my baby sleeping son in other room and I'm so close. No one to help me. Feel like my kids deserve better my life is unbearable. I really can't take this another day. Still have to look after kids though I'm suffering extremely distressed.
What do I do? I can't do this for another day, I just need some peace please
What method is best
Hi, sorry you are struggling. Have you ever heard of restbit foster care? They have it in the US, but I'm sure they offer those services in the UK, too. Basically what restbit care is, your children go to a safe family and stay for a while so you can have a break and figure out what you need to do for yourself., whether it be going to the hospital or whatever.
Also, and I'm sure I'm going to get flack for saying this, but whatever... if your mind is completely made up to CTB, then it would be best to wait to do it until after you have put your kids up for adoption. I know babies are easier to find a permanent home for than older children, but if your son is a toddler, he will probably find a family within a relatively short amount of time. I also think it is possible to choose the family they go to and you will probably find a family who is willing to take both children so that they can stay together. But taht will take time, and I'm not sure how long you are willing/able to wait to CTB.
I really think that the restbit care is a better option than adoption, though. Because that way, you can have time to really do some soul searching and figure out what you want to do. If you decide that you just can't go on, then you can work on finding a permanent home for your kids with the help of a social worker. There are a lot of people who desperatly want children, so it probably wouldn't be difficult to find a forever home if that's what it boils down to.
For what it's worth, you aren't alone. I am a mom of three little kids, too, and I couldn't take care of them. So they live with their dad and I pay child support and pay for them to go on vacations and other fun stuff when I can afford it. I am blind and severely bipolar, and motherhood just isn't something I am able to do right now. I know deep in my heart that my kids are better off living with their dad than with me. But I know that isn't your situation, I'm just saying, you aren't alone. At least you are still fighting for your kids; I didn't have the guts for motherhood. Kept thinking I'd get better, but I really haven't. Not enough to give three small kids what they need emotionally.
Feel free to PM me if you want. I hope that things work out for the best, whether that means CTB or getting help while your kids are being cared for by someone in restbit foster care or some other program. My heart goes out to you. Sending warm, virtual hugs if you want them.
