HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
Whenever I order something online and my parents receive the package they look into it before giving it to.
It annoys me that they are this strict even though I am fucking 18 they treat me like a child but I can't really talk them out of it I think.
I can't think of any excuse I could make if they found the gorilla tape or corn bags but maybe you have an idea.
 
iamalreadydead

iamalreadydead

Student
Nov 25, 2022
139
I dropped out of school.
I'm in the exact same situation with my own parents i can absolutely relate. Yesterday my dad felt a package I had delivered and inspected it. I'm 20 and also not in school.

An excuse I used for the thing I had delivered was that it was a project I'm pursuing on my own, like you're trying to get into a new hobby. You can tell them you're making like, a sculpture or doll with it.
 
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HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
I'm in the exact same situation with my own parents i can absolutely relate. Yesterday my dad felt a package I had delivered and inspected it. I'm 20 and also not in school.

An excuse I used for the thing I had delivered was that it was a project I'm pursuing on my own, like you're trying to get into a new hobby. You can tell them you're making like, a sculpture or doll with it.
They know I am an uncreative person who just sits in front of their pc or lays in bed all the time.
I could maybe get it delivered to a drug friend but he wants to know exactly what I deliver to him.
 
iamalreadydead

iamalreadydead

Student
Nov 25, 2022
139
They know I am an uncreative person who just sits in front of their pc or lays in bed all the time.
I could maybe get it delivered to a drug friend but he wants to know exactly what I deliver to him.
In that case have you considered just getting a P.O/private mailbox? you'd have to scrape together a couple bucks for it though, not sure what your finances look like but that's also an option since you're 18
 
HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
In that case have you considered just getting a P.O/private mailbox? you'd have to scrape together a couple bucks for it though, not sure what your finances look like but that's also an option since you're 18
I am really poor.
 
PurpleParadigm

PurpleParadigm

The glow is an illusion
Mar 22, 2023
201
I am honestly quite concerned by how young you are being on this forum. Are you sure you have exhausted all of your options. Night night can be dangerous and leave you with permanent brain damage if done incorrectly, it would appear you are rushing things quite a bit.
 
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HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
I am honestly quite concerned by how young you are being on this forum. Are you sure you have exhausted all of your options.
Yes, I have seen traumatic things, want to sleep from this hell.
Night night can be dangerous and leave you with permanent brain damage if done incorrectly, it would appear you are rushing things quite a bit.
Then how could I not fuck it up?
 
PurpleParadigm

PurpleParadigm

The glow is an illusion
Mar 22, 2023
201
I simply wouldn't suggest attempting via anything that is reliant on physically cutting off oxygen or blood supply especially the way you intend to do it, in your family home with family present. High chance of permanent injury, discovery and loss of quality of life. Wait until you are in a better position and use this time to see if things work out.
 
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HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
I simply wouldn't suggest attempting via anything that is reliant on physically cutting off oxygen or blood supply especially the way you intend to do it, in your family home with family present. High chance of permanent injury, discovery and loss of quality of life. Wait until you are in a better position and use this time to see if things work out.
I will ctb when my family is shopping, it takes like 2 hours which es enough for night night.
 
L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,621
does the body thrash in night night cos that could wake them up. My sympathies.
 
HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
does the body thrash in night night cos that could wake them up. My sympathies.
I will just do it when they are shopping.
I am still worried that neighbors will hear it so I will tape my mouth to reduce the sound but no idea if that will work.
 
PurpleParadigm

PurpleParadigm

The glow is an illusion
Mar 22, 2023
201
All of that goes completely against everything this site stands for and frankly comes off incredibly impulsive. There are so many things that can go wrong here from your family coming home early, you freaking out, surviving due to adrenaline and the bags getting dislodged but causing brain damage or other injury in the process. All of this sounds like a really bad idea.
 
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HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
All of that goes completely against everything this site stands for and frankly comes off incredibly impulsive. There are so many things that can go wrong here from your family coming home early, you freaking out, surviving due to adrenaline and the bags getting dislodged but causing brain damage or other injury in the process. All of this sounds like a really bad idea.
What is impulsive about that?
I barely have enough money for the things I need for this method and I refuse to find some bad job just to get the money to rent a hotel or whatever to ctb there and a better method.
They won't come home earlier if they go shopping, why should they?
How should the bags go off if I strap them to my neck correctly? Even if I freak out and try to remove them it should work.
 
PurpleParadigm

PurpleParadigm

The glow is an illusion
Mar 22, 2023
201
Look, in the end it's your life so all I can do is warn. Contrary to what some folks have claimed this is not a death cult. CTB is hard to pull off without things like N, most methods simply aren't effective or finnicky like SN.

Solid objects are paintful, corn bags will have uneven density, the tape can apply uneven pressure - causing loss of motor control / cognitive ability but not death within the 2 hours. Family might get tipped off by your behaviour or get a hunch, neighbours might hear, you may simply freak out. I won't argue over it, I also know it sucks that CTB is made so difficult by authorities, I understand your frustration, but I truly don't see this ending well or giving any sort of peaceful way out.
 
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HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
Solid objects are paintful, corn bags will have uneven density, the tape can apply uneven pressure - causing loss of motor control / cognitive ability but not death within the 2 hours.
I mean if I tighten it really tight how should it be possible that it doesn't block the artery even if it is uneven?
Solid objects are paintful
I don't care for the pain if I will black out except if it is agonizingly painful.
the tape can apply uneven pressure - causing loss of motor control / cognitive ability but not death within the 2 hours.
I thought if you black out it happens cause your brain doesn't get the blood from the arteries.
Family might get tipped off by your behaviour or get a hunch
My behaviour will be the same until they leave.
neighbours might hear
I also am afraid of that but my idea is to tape my mouth but I don't know if it is that much quieter then.
But you have to know many humans are selfish, they probably wouldn't do anything until it is too late.
you may simply freak out
How could I freak out while being blacked out?
but I truly don't see this ending well or giving any sort of peaceful way out.
Which other method could I use?
I thought about hanging but it is just a pathetic ending to die by my doorknob.
My other hope is to find someone who shares their ctb method with me but besides that night night is the only method I can think of, poison/od takes too long, I can't find a shotgun and transporting inert gas setup to my home without being suspicous is hard especially with my parents.
 
O

oneeyed

Specialist
Oct 11, 2022
336
Whatever you decide to do, just think it through and don't do something spur of the moment. If you are ordering stuff online, could you not have it delivered to a post office nearby and pick it up yourself when your parents aren't home?
 
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HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
Whatever you decide to do, just think it through and don't do something spur of the moment. If you are ordering stuff online, could you not have it delivered to a post office nearby and pick it up yourself when you're parents aren't home?
I am too socially anxious to do that, I would have to talk to people I don't know then.
 
H

H.O.Xan

Experienced
Feb 1, 2023
278
I am too socially anxious to do that, I would have to talk to people I don't know then.

y not ask to move out? idk, anywhere. it seems ur pretty restricted by ur conditions to peacefully exit
 
HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
y not ask to move out? idk, anywhere. it seems ur pretty restricted by ur conditions to peacefully exit
You mean move out to another apartment?
I don't want to work and get a new apartment just to ctb.
 
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PurpleParadigm

PurpleParadigm

The glow is an illusion
Mar 22, 2023
201
People generally all react differently to things, this includes surviving various life threatening scenarios. You might weaken but not pass out as quickly, scream, thrash around, not tighten the duct tape as hard as what would be needed to pass out and die. The method with tape, as far as I understand it, relies on layering tape gradualy to build up pressure with each layer - eventually resulting in blackout and death. But as I said, there is an enormous number of variables that can thwart your attempt, and since the tape is hard to remove you can't back out easily either if it goes wrong. In that case, you might be found just barely alive but with severe brain damage, or die in total distress. This, again, goes contrary to what this site aims to achieve. Just don't use trains, jump into traffic do weird martial-artsy methods like night night etc.
 
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HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
People generally all react differently to things, this includes surviving various life threatening scenarios. You might weaken but not pass out as quickly, scream, thrash around, not tighten the duct tape as hard as what would be needed to pass out and die. The method with tape, as far as I understand it, relies on layering tape gradualy to build up pressure with each layer - eventually resulting in blackout and death. But as I said, there is an enormous number of variables that can thwart your attempt, and since the tape is hard to remove you can't back out easily either if it goes wrong. In that case, you might be found just barely alive but with severe brain damage, or die in total distress. This, again, goes contrary to what this site aims to achieve. Just don't use trains, jump into traffic do weird martial-artsy methods like night night etc.
I don't have any better method now that I can afford except maybe finding someone who does nitrogen or whatever with me.
If I tighten it enough it should work and I will do it as good as I can as if my life (or death) depends on it.
 
RoundaboutResolved

RoundaboutResolved

Stuck in a roundabout with no exits!
Apr 5, 2023
820
Ctb however you want to, best of luck!

(Getting serious prolifer vibes from this purpleparadigm person)
 
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Pidgeons_Sparrows

Pidgeons_Sparrows

-flying rat
Apr 16, 2023
627
All of that goes completely against everything this site stands for and frankly comes off incredibly impulsive. There are so many things that can go wrong here from your family coming home early, you freaking out, surviving due to adrenaline and the bags getting dislodged but causing brain damage or other injury in the process. All of this sounds like a really bad idea.
Yeah )::: especially because hes so young...
Ctb however you want to, best of luck!

(Getting serious prolifer vibes from this purpleparadigm person)
Its not about pro life, its just that so many things could go wrong with this method and his circumstances, and to add the kid is 18 hes practically still a child, It seems this decision is very impulsive

(Im getting some serious crazy person that gets off to people killing themselves vibes from you)
 
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HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
Yeah )::: especially because hes so young...

Its not about pro life, its just that so many things could go wrong with this method and his circumstances, and to add the kid is 18 hes practically still a child, It seems this decision is very impulsive

(Im getting some serious crazy person that gets off to people killing themselves vibes from you)
What is impulsive if I wanted to die since I was 12?
I don't want to plan on how to get a job to get an apartment where I can do it with nitrogen I simply don't want to make effort just to end my life.
Why do you think I get off to people killing themselves? (Edit:You didn't mean me I think with that)
Do you now how much torture my existence is?
 
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unnormal9

unnormal9

SOLDIER T.
Apr 12, 2023
1,139
18 hes practically still a child

No, he is not. He is an adult now, he can make his own decisions. And it has nothing to do with you, his choices. That is the reality.

(Im getting some serious crazy person that gets off to people killing themselves vibes from you)

I'm getting serious assumption vibes from you. No one here gets off to others killing themselves. You wanna see where people get off to that? Head to kiwi farms and reddit.
 
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HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
No, he is not. He is an adult now, he can make his own decisions.
You can argue that people who aren't 20 still have a teenage mindset cause the brain isn't fully developed but I am legally old enough to use this site and I don't think I will change my view when I am 20.
I'm getting serious assumption vibes from you. No one here gets off to others killing themselves. You wanna see where people get off to that? Head to kiwi farms and reddit.
Oh I first thought that was meant towards me but I see that it was meant for another user.
I am pretty sure that many people here truly get off to people killing themselves but as you said accusations aren't ok and this thread gets toxic.
But especially for the partners thread I am scared that many people only put a mask on here to meet with suicidal people and do other things when they meet cause then the victim can't easily go to the police and say that they just wanted to kill themselves, this won't be a problem if suicide wasn't taboo.
 
PurpleParadigm

PurpleParadigm

The glow is an illusion
Mar 22, 2023
201
You don't simply go to bed at 17 the night before your 18th birthday and wake up a fully fledged adult the next morning. As a general rule, the younger you are, the more options you have provided you don't have some sort of degenerative desease etc. At 18 I already fled my country (family was threatened, real danger to life), was disabled in recovery from severe illness (perm damage, briefly was on palative care) and still much weaker than now, insane anxiety disorder that practically made me mute in public. This site is not about enabling people to impulsively die on demand, it's about finding a dignified and peaceful way out at the right time. Between then and now, I have overcome a fair bit, achieved some things I'm quite proud of even though it was really hard at times - if I CTB now as the help I need for ADHD/MH is slower than the mental decline from it (plus disability, hard to walk, can't drive etc.) I would still be convinced that doing it now, using a well thought through method with proper preparation is better than jumping into the river Trent from a low bridge as I wanted to back then.

More selfishly - SS is already under a lot of pressure globally, we don't know what background this kid is, who their parents are. So let's say they find them in their room, bruised, bloated, blue, mouth taped, neck taped. Turns out their parents are active prolifer types. They then track down their child's use of this site. Failing that LE gets wind of this. Just think for a second how much that would help this site's reputation.

Ctb however you want to, best of luck!

(Getting serious prolifer vibes from this purpleparadigm person)
Yeah, that's why I was documenting my SN delivery here and actually have it on hand as it turns out. I'm so pro life! Get the fuck out and take your suicide fetish with you.
 
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HopefulSleep

HopefulSleep

Wants to sleep
Apr 24, 2023
888
You don't simply go to bed at 17 the night before your 18th birthday and wake up a fully fledged adult the next morning.
I am not newly 18, I am 19 in circa 3 months.
As a general rule, the younger you are, the more options you have provided you don't have some sort of degenerative desease etc.
The exact reason I think suicide is the only option is that I got sexually abused as a child and I don't like the mental symptoms that I have from it, I already talked with since I was 15 about that and I think it even made it worse talking with others about it and they only talk nonsense in my experience anyway.
But if you know a guaranteed way to make this weird feeling I have when I have those memories away I will stop all my ctb plans right now so tell it.
This site is not about enabling people to impulsively die on demand
This is not impulsive, I just prefer not to live any longer with this pain, please tell me a better ctb plan that wouldn't take so long until I can do this.
it's about finding a dignified and peaceful way out at the right time.
I don't care as long as I die.
Between then and now, I have overcome a fair bit, achieved some things I'm quite proud of even though it was really hard at times
It is your life and mine is my life.
I would still be convinced that doing it now, using a well thought through method with proper preparation is better than jumping into the river Trent from a low bridge as I wanted to back then.
Night night takes as long as inert gas to shut the body down afaik and I am currently planning on how to make sure that my plan works this is not impulsive at all.
SS is already under a lot of pressure globally, we don't know what background this kid is, who their parents are. So let's say they find them in their room, bruised, bloated, blue, mouth taped, neck taped. Turns out their parents are active prolifer types. They then track down their child's use of this site. Failing that LE gets wind of this. Just think for a second how much that would help this site's reputation.
I use tor and I have nothing on this site that could be used to link it to me in real life and I will obviously log off before I ctb and I don't have the account details stored on my pc.
Get the fuck out and take your suicide fetish with you.
Please stop being toxic to each other you two.
 

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