Venting I have so many things I have to do before I CTB

[g&hexmhn]

It feels like I'm a week away from CTB but I have to survive until at least January but I don't think I can do it. I'm gonna have a movie night with a friend on Halloween and I'm gonna meet a moot on social media on January and I promised them I wouldn't kill myself until then but idk if I can keep that promise. Sure, I might be able to make it to Halloween, but I'm not so sure about 2024.

 

[day]

I often times do things that make me feel as if I'm forced to wait till a specific time. To be completely honest I hate it. I should really be able to go when I want and it not come off as selfish.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be tiring being in that situation, I get that it really can be so dreadful feeling stuck here when you want to leave. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[voyager]

Obligations are ultimately meaningless in the bigger picture, and yet such a burden and habit that most of us will do almost anything to fulfill them.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

No offense, but if scheduled events are making you defer, you're probably not truly suicidal IMHO. You'd feel that none of it would really matter to you once you're dead. I think you have reasons to live and should make an attempt to do so.

 

[twatingthroughlife]

No offense, but if scheduled events are making you defer, you're probably not truly suicidal IMHO. You'd feel that none of it would really matter to you once you're dead. I think you have reasons to live and should make an attempt to do so.

I think you can feel both things at the same time. Humans are complex. You can have things you want to live for but at the same time want to die. I know I'm suicidal. I've been like this before and I've tried to ctb, but I still have many things I want to do. I just haven't been desperate enough to try to ctb again

 

[g&hexmhn]

No offense, but if scheduled events are making you defer, you're probably not truly suicidal IMHO. You'd feel that none of it would really matter to you once you're dead. I think you have reasons to live and should make an attempt to do so.

I'm probably gonna ctb sometime this week

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I'm probably gonna ctb sometime this week

I'm probably looking at the kind of timeline as well.