Venting I have said it before and I'll say it again

[Konnsz]

Suicide Hotlines are absolute bullshit. Literally NPC responses for serious topics from people who barely care about you.

They will constantly ask if you are in danger and if you want to killyourself, and if you give them enough reasons they will send the fucking police on your house.

it's so bullshit how they are wired, i can't even look up useful information because they have spam all over the internet, if you ever say something or search something you get immediately spammed with the crisis hotline.

It's like a friend that is constantly there because they feel morally obligated to be there, and it makes everything so much more annoying and limited. pretty fucking similar to the whole clinical system.

"You can't self-Diagnose your depression, it has to be a professional" give me a fucking break, So you are telling me I must risk my privacy getting breached just to have a paper and have "depression" and be taken seriously?
yeah, let's assume my attempts did not exist at all, let's assume my tiredness that last all the day, how I wake up tired, all of that means nothing.

but no, I'm not depressed because I don't have a paper that says I have depression.

If I say something wrong i get a risk of getting locked up, if they misinterpret it I get locked up as well.

the whole mental health and suicide hotline crisis are just retarded at this point

I can't imagine how it must feel to have only those resources available... knowing how innefficient they are.

 

[Saturn_]

I had the police called on me once when I was 13 from one of those text hotlines. What was awful about it was that I was complaining to the person on the other end that one of my parents had been neglecting and abusing me. Then the police were called, and the same parent was the one to answer the door! Then they left without any sort of preventative action taken. Gee, that sure couldn't have opened me up for further abuse and humiliation. Not at all. Absolutely genius.

 

[wisteria3]

Yup, it's like talking to a bored employee who is only interested in not being legally responsible for your death. The most annoying part to me is how it's plastered everywhere. "Help is available!" as if they think it actually solves anything

by the way I have tried a "warmline" run by peer support and found it much better, like actually talking to a real person (although some of the people are a lot better than others) except you can't really talk about suicidal thoughts since they're not "equipped" for it

overall I think the liability issues are the problem… if therapists and hotline employees weren't so concerned with not being liable for your death, then we could actually speak freely and it would help so much more in my opinion

 

[Ash]

I think it depends where you are, the legislation in the country, which one you ring, your mindset at the time of the call, whether you click with the person you speak to, etc etc etc. It's not one size fits all from either side of the phone line and sweeping generalisations don't help anybody.

 

[Georg]

Never talk to anyone about your CB plans if you are serious about it. Friends and family neither.

 

[Roadrunner]

Never talk to anyone about your CB plans if you are serious about it. Friends and family neither.

I couldn't agree with more. Unless your not 100% serious about, never discuss it. Take that secret with you.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Yup, it's like talking to a bored employee who is only interested in not being legally responsible for your death. The most annoying part to me is how it's plastered everywhere. "Help is available!" as if they think it actually solves anything

by the way I have tried a "warmline" run by peer support and found it much better, like actually talking to a real person (although some of the people are a lot better than others) except you can't really talk about suicidal thoughts since they're not "equipped" for it

overall I think the liability issues are the problem… if therapists and hotline employees weren't so concerned with not being liable for your death, then we could actually speak freely and it would help so much more in my opinion

Liability is 100% the problem. I know someone who worked at a hotline before and they were frustrated sometimes because the rules required them to speak a certain way, to minimise the risk of being held liable if they shared too much personal information or gave advice that would be considered bad. So really all they could do was try to signpost/refer people to other organisations.

A lot of the people on the lines want to help, or to be more real and personal, but their hands are tied by these stupid regulations. If these liability rules were done away with, and volunteers could speak openly without being warned that they have responsibility for a strangers life and may be held accountable if they can't prevent every single suicide. These rules just prevent honest communication and impede any sort of progress in the mental health field, because they encourage defensive practices and lying out of fear of detainment. Obviously, some places are more trigger happy than others, and some organizations don't follow this maxim.

OP, I agree with you wholeheartedly that the whole diagnosis system is a load of rubbish. Most people don't know, but the same questionnaires used to diagnose the vast majority of mental illnesses (with some exceptions, of course) are easily accessible online, as well as the criteria for what scores would constitute a diagnosis. It's a lot less scientific and objective than it's made out to be.

A person can very easily complete these questionnaires at home, and find out if they meet the criteria for depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc. I have no idea why this day and age the exact same evidence you'd be providing to a doctor is not seen as valid if you obtained it yourself. Perhaps, it would be different if there were other diagnostic methods involved, but having been diagnosed with "mental" stuff many times, I can confirm that it literally only involved those quizzes.

I had very obvious PTSD for years but it was really only acknowledged by anyone after I took one of those damn 5 minute quizzes in the psychiatry waiting room. It's such bullshit when your suffering is obvious, but others want a piece of paper to "prove it", as if check boxing the same symptoms you're experiencing somehow makes them more real or valid? If people don't take your depression seriously because of that, they are just ignorant.

 

[willitpass]

Every experience I've ever had with hotlines has been rather useless. My biggest pet peeve is when mental health professionals just repeat back what I've said to them and say "What I'm hearing is you're going through XYZ, that must be so hard", and that's all I've ever gotten from hotlines. I used to tell my therapists not to do that to me because it angered me so much, but you can't tell a hotline not to say that because that's almost all they're allowed to say. Then they give a random coping skill that is usually not even accessible in the moment and hang up. I've been told to eat a brownie, paint, shower, and my all time favorite: go on a walk even though they knew I was a young female and it was midnight. If you want to be bored out of your problem by mundanity it works, but I've never found benefit in what they've said.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

They are manned primarily by a bunch of premed students trying to meet the volunteering requirements so they can impress admission boards with hoooooooow compassionate they are.

 

[martinso67]

I knew some people on the internet who it helped them talking to an anti suicide Hotline.
It's useful for people who are lonely in a sense that they want some human to talk to. Like a superficial conversation at a retail store.

 

[UKscotty]

I think it depends, if someone is calling, they probably don't want to die but don't want to be in pain anymore. People over a phonecall are very limited in what they can do, other than listen.

As for calling medical services or police, they sort of have an obligation. If someone doesn't want help or intervention they have the choice to just not call the helpline. It just feels a little to call a helpline then be unhappy when they try and help.

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

I had the police called on me once when I was 13 from one of those text hotlines. What was awful about it was that I was complaining to the person on the other end that one of my parents had been neglecting and abusing me. Then the police were called, and the same parent was the one to answer the door! Then they left without any sort of preventative action taken. Gee, that sure couldn't have opened me up for further abuse and humiliation. Not at all. Absolutely genius.

Yep. Sounds about par with the American way... Good ol' US of A(ssholes) as of this point. My first songs I ever learned were patriotic ones. Now I'm just embarrassed.

They are manned primarily by a bunch of premed students trying to meet the volunteering requirements so they can impress admission boards with hoooooooow compassionate they are.

May even count towards the thousands of hours of communication these very basic, barely legal counselor's brag about on commercials.
Oh so qualified...

 

[fleetingnight]

Yeah, you kinda hit the nail on the head. I swear they used to be a little bit better, at least I used to hear real sympathy when I called them. Now the responses are so scripted, I feel like I'm bothering them by being there, like I'm an inconvenience they need to deal with.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

So true. I don't think that one rapper kid did any research about the suicide hotline before he decided to make that song corny-assed song about it.

 

[crystal_meth97]

I assume you're referring to those in the US. If that's the case, this is one of the reasons why I would never choose to live there. Where I live, the counselors or therapists who operate these hotlines, which are very few, do not act like that. I used to call pretty often the depression and anxiety hotline and I have 80% positive experiences with those people. They don't even ask those questions, they allow you to express your suicidal thoughts and navigate them. I've never had the police called on me and I said some pretty fucked up shit when I was really low. Even when I was about to attempt by psych meds OD (I know it doesn't work, but I was at my wits' end), they talked me out of it and that was it. It's awful and sad that in other places like the US the helplines are like that and you feel like you're not even talking to a person who cares...

 

[abchia]

agreed. they always say their focus is to de-escalate the situation but it literally feels like they're just sorting people into two categories. 1) immediate danger to yourself and will contact someone to show up at your house, or 2) you're safe enough for them to try to get rid of you as soon as possible. however they do serve as a distraction for those who just need someone to talk to and take their mind off things

 

[BIGMIKE]

Suicide Hotlines are absolute bullshit. Literally NPC responses for serious topics from people who barely care about you.

They will constantly ask if you are in danger and if you want to killyourself, and if you give them enough reasons they will send the fucking police on your house.

it's so bullshit how they are wired, i can't even look up useful information because they have spam all over the internet, if you ever say something or search something you get immediately spammed with the crisis hotline.

It's like a friend that is constantly there because they feel morally obligated to be there, and it makes everything so much more annoying and limited. pretty fucking similar to the whole clinical system.

"You can't self-Diagnose your depression, it has to be a professional" give me a fucking break, So you are telling me I must risk my privacy getting breached just to have a paper and have "depression" and be taken seriously?
yeah, let's assume my attempts did not exist at all, let's assume my tiredness that last all the day, how I wake up tired, all of that means nothing.

but no, I'm not depressed because I don't have a paper that says I have depression.

If I say something wrong i get a risk of getting locked up, if they misinterpret it I get locked up as well.

the whole mental health and suicide hotline crisis are just retarded at this point

I can't imagine how it must feel to have only those resources available... knowing how innefficient they are.

Depression is an industry. Big money in depression. You've got to pay to live.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

I supposed Swedes are lucky in a sense that suicide hotlines can't contact the police. One of them (technically not a suicide hotline but you can bring up the topic if you want) you even contact through our emergency number and you can say whatever you want to them. It stays there.

What we're not so lucky about is that hotlines tend to use Motivational Interviewing and if there's one thing that makes my skin crawl it's Motivational Fucking Interviewing. If there is a Hell, they probably speak to eachother using Motivational Interview only. Typically goes like this:

"Hello. I want to die."
"Hello. You are telling me that you want to die. Do you want to talk about it further?" [Yes, that's why I contacted you...]
"I was beaten as a child, my dog ate my phone and the prime minister called me disgusting on national television. It's all too much."
"It sounds like you are feeling like it's too much. Is that correct?" [I know, those were my words...]
"Yes..."
"What are some good things about your life?" [Certainly not this call]
"I don't know. I had a croissant this morning, I suppose that was nice."
"So there are some beacons of light in your life; you had a croissant and you were able to enjoy it." [Yes, in fact a single croissant is widely known to be a potent antidepressant, I don't even know why I needed to contact you when all I could do was to get another croissant]
"Sure..."
"What do you need for this to get better?" [Anything else but this...]
"Well, I don't think there is anything. I can't change having been beaten as a child, my dog still needs surgery and the entire nation has still been told that I'm disgusting. It feels hopeless."
"It sounds like you are feeling hopeless. Is that correct?" [If I didn't before, I certainly am now]
"Yes. I don't want to anymore. I'm sick and tired of this life."
"Well, I think that life is a gift." [Must've gotten it on sale then...]
"Great, that you do. Happy for you, really. But I certainly don't and it's really frustrating for me to get told that."
"It sounds like you are feeling frustrated. Is that correct?" [Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

 

[imahauntu]

I feel sick reading this. It's not from what physically torments me, it's a conditional response to my despair.
I know i have no way out, what is killing me has no cure, had a poor temporary fix but it became no longer viable.
Then i read these posts. I can't get confort anywhere. No one to talk to. I got too phisically sick to attend my therapist anymore but she wouldn't help me and if really knew my despair and plans is obliged to report it.
I told my parents everything. Everything. Felt good. My mom has what days ago i confirmed with 0% mistake early/mild dementia/alzheimer. A symptom of it, present in her, is lack of insight, affects her condition but mine too. She was different a few years ago. Refused to give into despair or tolerate problematic situations. Sometimes would result in taking wrongful action, but she tried. My father just won't face reality. It's too hard i guess, loves me too much. The burden of despair is on me only. For now.
I fantasize about a social media post explaining my situation, everything. At least people would know. But there's risk of consequences. Can't even time it for after i pass without a computer which i can't access.
Have no confort in the belief of an afterlife. I wasn't raised a believer but there was a faith environment and structure. I was so young and already had a concept of afterlife possibilitie and their basic appeals and reasoning. One day, aged like 7 or 8, in school reccess i remember thinking "Christians believe in an afterlife in heaven because no one had traveled there yet when the religion started". A child's epiphany, nothing much but somehow i never forgot that moment and it would start my disbelief. Be it atheism, agnosticism, the doubt. I later learned about near/full death experiences, the visions, but i also learned about DMT. I take the confort i can get. "Where life is present death isn't, where death is life is not". Dreaming is ok. NREM sleep has no dreams. I've experienced the end already, just woke up again. These days i wake up and i wish i could sleep more, it's my only escape. So that's good i guess.
I found SS, researched methods but didn't prepare. I knew the alternative is an existence worst than death and i accepted it. But something clicked in me and i decided i want out.
Then i read a thread on euthanasia. It's not viable. Not where i am, not for non resident where it is, not for my condition, not in my timeframe.
Then i look up SN. It's not viable where i am, maybe with time would be a way, i'm out of time.
Then i register here. And buy a rope.
I dont know what i'm waiting for. Existence is phisical and mental pain, nothing destracts me, lost my hobbies, stopped activities. Haven't left the house on weeks. Can't focus on any form of entertainment. And it's going to get worst.
Then i notice a new symptom on my mom. Confirm it on google. She's going to need support, she's going to need me. My dad can't live without me. This is hell, i'm in hell. A few months ago i wasn't happy with my life but i wad resigned and thought i would live to an old age. Thought my parents had health.
I use to find confort in substances. Self medicated with them. Had fun with them. Now i'm too ill for that. Can't access that.
There is nothing, there is no relief.
I'm so sorry.

 

[PinballWizard39]

Here in the UK, I find the Samaritans useful. Not all the time, but largely they are OK. I like the fact they are bound by confidentiality and can't tell anyone anything. I actually called them last night as all these CTB plans and my angst over the fact my MH team could easily make me change my mind if I was just given the right support - it's all causing so much chaos, isolation and depression. It was a relief to actually be 90% honest about all that's going on with me at the moment, including the CTB plans. They're calling to check in with me again today.

Although there are other helplines I could call, I wouldn't because they don't have the same rules on confidentiality. I am somebody that sometimes needs to be able to talk about things whilst not wanting the other person to do anything about it.

 

[AbusedInnocent]

If chatGPT is going to replace any jobs it's going to be suicide hotline operators, they only repeat the same few lines anyway.

 

[Onelegman]

I called the hope line (as they call it here) 12 times, several days and at different hours. On no occasion did they pick it up, the ring timed out and I was devastated. 1 of two options, either a lot of people call at all hours of the day, or no one cares about us

 

[permanently tired]

Depression is an industry. Big money in depression. You've got to pay to live.

Good thing I don't want to then