I have messed my future up and I need to die because of it

[imveryretarded]

I am such a lazy fuck that can't get anything done that can't put effort into anything and I am tired of it, i can't seem to change. It seems I've messed my entire future up, my grades aren't good anymore and I am about to graduate soon. I haven't applied to scholarships even though I should've already, and honestly I don't care how picky I sound like but I really was aiming for ivy league schools because I want to feel special, but no of course I had to mess that up now I have no chance into getting into one. Not even only ivy leagues, but some other certain universities that I know I won't get into anymore. I liked the idea of setting up a good future for myself, but I have failed, and I have no choice but to kill myself. I will not even dare to end up broke, with a dead end job, that was not the future I wanted for myself, so it's better to just die.

 

[Hvergelmir]

All the propaganda about grades and education is intended to motivate people, nothing more.
Education is a valuable asset, but still just an asset.

Education is great, but the propaganda is overexaggerated. Just like other propaganda (tobacco, drugs, whatever) it's not intended to communicate real world facts, but to change peoples thinking and behavior.

What you ought to ask yourself is; what avenues are still open? And, how did others manage without a top tier education?
If you want a high paying job, the only real prerequisite is that you're able to do something that's in high demand, and that few others can do. A difficult education is a pretty safe way of achieving that, but it's by no means the only way.

 

[Kbeau]

I am such a lazy fuck that can't get anything done that can't put effort into anything and I am tired of it, i can't seem to change. It seems I've messed my entire future up, my grades aren't good anymore and I am about to graduate soon. I haven't applied to scholarships even though I should've already, and honestly I don't care how picky I sound like but I really was aiming for ivy league schools because I want to feel special, but no of course I had to mess that up now I have no chance into getting into one. Not even only ivy leagues, but some other certain universities that I know I won't get into anymore. I liked the idea of setting up a good future for myself, but I have failed, and I have no choice but to kill myself. I will not even dare to end up broke, with a dead end job, that was not the future I wanted for myself, so it's better to just die.

Yep

 

[Autumn_Stars]

I won a full four year scholarship and a good job. I had a side business writing term papers but ChatGPT destroyed it. Now that I've lost everything death can give me back dignity and peace. I can't sit on the sofa being a mentally and physically ill shitbag any longer.

 

[dontwakemeup]

Let me tell you a secret and you better not tell anyone I said this. When you get a degree and I have mines, I have never had a future employer or company ask me what school I graduated from. All they need to see is that you have license or a degree.

Have you ever thought about joing the military? Perhaps that might be a great option for you.

I went to a community college because I didn't want to be with the snooty rich kids who drove the fancy cars and had everything.

I'm sorry you feel your life is finished. I'm sorry you don't feel adequate in comparrison to your peers. Have you tried study groups, getting a tutor, or asking a friend for help? If it's not too late then please don't give up. I'd never stop running a race if the race is still in progress because I feel I'm going to fail. I've failed college before and got put out. I started again, and failed one class.

Most of the famous people we study in school have failed but they never gave up. I'm not here to tell you what you to do, that's a decision you have to make. But I want you to know failure is not the end. Cry if you need to. Take a year off if you need to. Everyone has failed at something at some point. I know it feels isolating and lonely, trust me I've been there.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best. If you decide to stay, just imagine how beautiful and inspirational your graduation speech will be, "I almost gave up, but look what I've become!"

Try to give your brain a break and try taking a nap. Don't rush to make any decisions now that you may regret later. You're feeling are valid and justified. I have no doubt that you are in pain. I hear you, we all do.

Keep us posted if you like on what you decide. Either way, we will be here for you. You're safe here

 

[Lady Laudanum]

I'm in no way trying to make this the suffering olympics or compare to anyone. I'm also in no way trying to invalidate anyone, but hear me out. Your life is nowhere near over and you have plenty of chances to turn things around even if you don't end up in the ivies. You're deciding to give up and throw in the towel way too early. You're also assuming that the only way to have a good future, not be broke, and not work at a dead end job is to go to a top tier school, which is not true.

I "messed up my life" way worse than you probably did and I managed to turn things around. It's not because I'm super smart or have anything that really sets me apart from others - I know other people who came from similar backgrounds and were able to do the same. I'm on my way to a decent career, financially stable, and I definitely did not go to an ivy league school or even a target school. In high school, I nearly flunked out because of mental illness and substance abuse. I got involved in illegal things (will not elaborate here but those of you who have talked with me more privately know) when I was 18, and dropped out from college. Later on put myself through EMT school, worked many different jobs, was hospitalized for mental health/substance abuse related things a bunch of times, put a lot of work into reaching a more stable point with my mental health, and now I'm back in college for a full degree in my mid 20s.

I know that it feels like the end of the world but in the grand scheme of things, you have a lot of time and a lot of chances left to do better in the future. I definitely also used to think that my life was ruined because I didn't get into a top tier school, didn't get good enough grades for medical school to be an option, dropped out from college, etc. However, it would be a pretty far stretch for me to say my life is permanently ruined. I didn't necessarily achieve everything I wanted, but at the end of the day I'm not a bum either.

 

[dimgobaith]

I've messed up my future too..I need to die to protect others

 

[danny10]

I've messed up not just my future but my daughter's future as well. I was a diplomat, having an increadibly high salary and all the benefits that come with being a diplomat. I however developed serious depression, I have no idea where it came from as everything in my life was perfect: loving wife, beautiful daughter, great job, great salary. But depression kicked in and I could not sleep for a period of 6 months and I developed panick attacks and suicidal thoughts. So they fired me from my diplomatic mission as I was unwell and I ended up in hospital for around 6 months. Now I have a very shitty job that pays 0 money but I have long hours so I don't get to see my wife or daughter. I seriously fucked up my amazing life, or well, depression fucked it up. I Just cannot go on living this life anymore.

 

[imveryretarded]

I won a full four year scholarship and a good job. I had a side business writing term papers but ChatGPT destroyed it. Now that I've lost everything death can give me back dignity and peace. I can't sit on the sofa being a mentally and physically ill shitbag any longer.

My god, I am so sorry this happened. I have heard that ChatGPT has severely damaged the writing system, such as students being falsely plagiarized and such. We will eventually find peace one day....

Let me tell you a secret and you better not tell anyone I said this. When you get a degree and I have mines, I have never had a future employer or company ask me what school I graduated from. All they need to see is that you have license or a degree.

Have you ever thought about joing the military? Perhaps that might be a great option for you.

I went to a community college because I didn't want to be with the snooty rich kids who drove the fancy cars and had everything.

I'm sorry you feel your life is finished. I'm sorry you don't feel adequate in comparrison to your peers. Have you tried study groups, getting a tutor, or asking a friend for help? If it's not too late then please don't give up. I'd never stop running a race if the race is still in progress because I feel I'm going to fail. I've failed college before and got put out. I started again, and failed one class.

Most of the famous people we study in school have failed but they never gave up. I'm not here to tell you what you to do, that's a decision you have to make. But I want you to know failure is not the end. Cry if you need to. Take a year off if you need to. Everyone has failed at something at some point. I know it feels isolating and lonely, trust me I've been there.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best. If you decide to stay, just imagine how beautiful and inspirational your graduation speech will be, "I almost gave up, but look what I've become!"

Try to give your brain a break and try taking a nap. Don't rush to make any decisions now that you may regret later. You're feeling are valid and justified. I have no doubt that you are in pain. I hear you, we all do.

Keep us posted if you like on what you decide. Either way, we will be here for you. You're safe here

I cried while reading this, thank you so much. It sucks failure is looked down upon on so much, people forget it's something human.

I'm in no way trying to make this the suffering olympics or compare to anyone. I'm also in no way trying to invalidate anyone, but hear me out. Your life is nowhere near over and you have plenty of chances to turn things around even if you don't end up in the ivies. You're deciding to give up and throw in the towel way too early. You're also assuming that the only way to have a good future, not be broke, and not work at a dead end job is to go to a top tier school, which is not true.

I "messed up my life" way worse than you probably did and I managed to turn things around. It's not because I'm super smart or have anything that really sets me apart from others - I know other people who came from similar backgrounds and were able to do the same. I'm on my way to a decent career, financially stable, and I definitely did not go to an ivy league school or even a target school. In high school, I nearly flunked out because of mental illness and substance abuse. I got involved in illegal things (will not elaborate here but those of you who have talked with me more privately know) when I was 18, and dropped out from college. Later on put myself through EMT school, worked many different jobs, was hospitalized for mental health/substance abuse related things a bunch of times, put a lot of work into reaching a more stable point with my mental health, and now I'm back in college for a full degree in my mid 20s.

I know that it feels like the end of the world but in the grand scheme of things, you have a lot of time and a lot of chances left to do better in the future. I definitely also used to think that my life was ruined because I didn't get into a top tier school, didn't get good enough grades for medical school to be an option, dropped out from college, etc. However, it would be a pretty far stretch for me to say my life is permanently ruined. I didn't necessarily achieve everything I wanted, but at the end of the day I'm not a bum either.

Thank you so much for sharing your story and your advice, it has opened my eyes. You are right I think it's too early for me to give up on everything right now, I hope I can end up in a similar path like yours and get back up.

I've messed up not just my future but my daughter's future as well. I was a diplomat, having an increadibly high salary and all the benefits that come with being a diplomat. I however developed serious depression, I have no idea where it came from as everything in my life was perfect: loving wife, beautiful daughter, great job, great salary. But depression kicked in and I could not sleep for a period of 6 months and I developed panick attacks and suicidal thoughts. So they fired me from my diplomatic mission as I was unwell and I ended up in hospital for around 6 months. Now I have a very shitty job that pays 0 money but I have long hours so I don't get to see my wife or daughter. I seriously fucked up my amazing life, or well, depression fucked it up. I Just cannot go on living this life anymore.

I am so sorry, it has been the same for me... depression has fucked me up this year. One day we will experience nothingness and peace, which I am sure we both find comfort in such idea, but we only have one life and we need to get back up on our feet somehow. I truly hope you find a better job in the future and you get to see your wife and daughter one day.