Discussion I have found out my antidepressants actually do something

[LaetumCat]

I found out my antidepressants actually do something, which, I'm glad about. I found out I'm far less anxious, and when I am anxious and overthink, it only lasts a few minutes usually, and not hours like before. My mood isn't (for the most part) entirely ruined for the whole day if I get panicky and start overthinking.
I don't think my antidepressants help me with feeling happy, for the most part I just feel kind of "nothing" - not the empty kind of nothing, just... Nothing. I don't know how to describe it to be honest.

Now that I think about it, I'm not even entirely sure why I take antidepressants - I'm not diagnosed with anything (as far as I know, at least). When I attempted suicide and I was admitted to a psych ward, they just automatically gave me antidepressants and that was it. They didn't tell me what they're for, side effects, or not even their name, only that I should take them once in the morning after breakfast. Like yeah, I definitely am suicidal and I was addicted to self harm before (in recovery for that rn), but they didn't diagnose me with anything, so I wonder based off what they gave me those pills... I never went to a psychiatrist or a therapist before being admitted, huh, strange, now that I think about it.

 

[IrisGr3y_]

Hm. When I got Clonazepam prescribed, the psychiatrist (I think it was one of those) paired it with an SSRI to help with the overthinking, and, according to him, not have the need for Benzos.

My mood isn't (for the most part) entirely ruined for the whole day if I get panicky and start overthinking

It did that for a while. Could start to simply shrug off such moments.

I don't think my antidepressants help me with feeling happy, for the most part I just feel kind of "nothing" - not the empty kind of nothing, just... Nothing. I don't know how to describe it to be honest.

Right. Sounds familiar. I was in a better mood when I started due to the novelty of not being in fight-or-flight response management mode, then it faded into that 'nothingness' you describe. Not happy, not sad, but low-key wanting to feel something.

In sad days that same nothingness could hit hard.



Tried once to stop taking SSRIs, it backfired. Felt utter unwillingness, lack of any drive, and started to have a stronger suicidal ideation. Went back to them, then tried a second time around the end of December. An online friend successfully made me feel good around New Year's Eve time and the following days. It probably spared me the initial dip from dropping them cold.

It was short lived, but I'm glad I could stop taking them. That 'nothingness' was concerning.

but they didn't diagnose me with anything, so I wonder based off what they gave me those pills... I never went to a psychiatrist or a therapist before being admitted, huh, strange, now that I think about it.

Nothing other than what caused you to be sent there. It's their go-to for most "mental cases" as they call them. Even for non-psychological issues, it seems to be their go-to option. My brother was having heart issues (thankfully nothing dire) recently, he was given Fluoxetines because they thought it was something caused by anxiety and depression, but it was something completely different, and he even explained to them, but nope.

 

[LaetumCat]

It did that for a while. Could start to simply shrug off such moments.



Right. Sounds familiar. I was in a better mood when I started due to the novelty of not being in fight-or-flight response management mode, then it faded into that 'nothingness' you describe. Not happy, not sad, but low-key wanting to feel something.

In sad days that same nothingness could hit hard.


It was short lived, but I'm glad I could stop taking them. That 'nothingness' was concerning.

Yeah, exactly like you describe. I'm not happy, not sad, most of the time just the Nothing.
And yeah sometimes the nothingness is really unbearable and I feel suicidal and my thoughts are racing. Or I don't feel anything at all, I feel empty, no thoughts, I don't care about anything, nor anyone. It's really strange.... That's what happens on the "bad days".

Right, it definitely is. I was thinking of asking my psychiatrist either to prescribe me something else or to just ask him if stopping to take them entirely would be the way. I think most of the side effects have stopped for me, but honestly this "nothing" isn't really nice either. Way better then being anxious easily tho....

Nothing other than what caused you to be sent there. It's their go-to for most "mental cases" as they call them. Even for non-psychological issues, it seems to be their go-to option. My brother was having heart issues (thankfully nothing dire) recently, he was given Fluoxetines because they thought it was something caused by anxiety and depression, but it was something completely different, and he even explained to them, but nope.

Hm. Makes sense, since my antidepressants are pretty much "the starter antidepressants" as everyone calls them. I take Sertraline.

 

[IrisGr3y_]

Yeah, exactly like you describe. I'm not happy, not sad, most of the time just the Nothing.
And yeah sometimes the nothingness is really unbearable and I feel suicidal and my thoughts are racing. Or I don't feel anything at all, I feel empty, no thoughts, I don't care about anything, nor anyone. It's really strange.... That's what happens on the "bad days".

Right, it definitely is. I was thinking of asking my psychiatrist either to prescribe me something else or to just ask him if stopping to take them entirely would be the way. I think most of the side effects have stopped for me, but honestly this "nothing" isn't really nice either. Way better then being anxious easily tho....

Unbearable... quite so. I'd scramble for things to do to feel something.

Wasn't anxiety-driven, but just as bad. I recall having watched messy suicide videos (like one of a guy called Ronnie, bit notorious for its shock value) to "feel something", only to have no reaction at all (of course I had a lot of empathy for the guy, I was just too devoid of emotion).

Had urges to talk to people I wouldn't be able to talk to as I felt set free from panic attacks, had to still myself because I had no way or reason to make it happen naturally, and with a bit of a history of communicating poorly, that was the better choice.


That state of nothingness was ironic when it came to suicidal thoughts. Almost nothing would entertain me, or make me feel good mood-wise, but that? It's like their intensity was cranked up.

Right, it definitely is. I was thinking of asking my psychiatrist either to prescribe me something else or to just ask him if stopping to take them entirely would be the way. I think most of the side effects have stopped for me, but honestly this "nothing" isn't really nice either. Way better then being anxious easily tho....

Take this with a grain of salt, but a friend once recommended me an "SNRI" instead of SSRIs. He said he had been taking one named "Venlafaxine", saying it was more effective for him. Of course, search about it and its side effects and all. Can't speak for them because I hadn't taken them. Been two months free of anti-depressants, I have some hesitation around coming back to them because of this state of nothingness characteristic of them.

It may be freeing to have the obnoxious Overthinking trait dialed down, but could lead you to do things you could regret. Watching gorey videos is nothing really, but who know what else one could end up doing to "feel something".

I just use Clonazepam, for the awful fight-or-flight response, and Propranolol for the shaky arms and legs. That does it for me.

Again, take all that with a grain of salt. Someone who knows well how these things function could tell much more and be trusted. These pills have their side effects, short and long term.