Venting I have everything I could ever want, but I've always lacked the one thing I need

[RandomFellowIdc]

I have everything I could ask for. Stability, money, opportunities, everything. But the one thing I need, companionship, is something i never truly had, even though it's the only thing I need.

I have never been satisfied with my life. I always knew I was missing something. Always knew exactly what I've been missing. Every attempt I've made to get it has led to horrible trauma.

I had it all for one year, only to lose everything. Back to where I started, feeling worse than ever before. I need someone to live for, someone that gives me the motivation to be my best self. Someone that makes life feel like it's worth living.

I don't care if it's pathetic, the loneliness has been killing me my whole life, and I kept going and trying with nothing to show for it. I refuse to suffer any longer. I'm not going to live a life where I'm not allowed to be happy.

Our time together was the only time I have ever truly felt alive.
I miss you. I'm sorry.

 

[dyingslowly]

I feel you, but the opposite gender has a choice to either be with you or don't and if overwhelming number of them chooses not to be with you then I won't be blaming them. This is mine story and I have become so comfortable in living single and alone that realistically I don't want any companionship, the only thing worries me is old age not sure till when I will live but I want a death with dignity that's all I ask for.

 

[RandomFellowIdc]

Of course, everyone has that right. That's what makes it so special when things go well in the first place.

Still, my awful luck in the one thing I actually care about has been eating at me my whole life

 

[Chanting dread]

I understand your pain.
Its horrible when you know exactly what you need yet life is determined to keep it just out of reach.
Nothing truly fills that void.