Venting I hate when people tell me to think about my friends and family

[tragicfanatic]

It makes me feel guilty. I know I should think about how people will feel about my suicide but at the same time no one's ever really put effort into checking up on me past the usual niceties. Sometimes people are kind to me and I think maybe it won't be so bad if I keep living but then I get reminded that the happiness I feel from people is only passing and something will happen that'll make me want to CTB again.

Every few and far in between time I've confided in someone about my suicidal ideation, pretty much the first thing they ask me is to live for the people who care about me, tell me about how much people care about me, what about the people who care about you? At some point I just realized I don't really care. Everyone likes to lament about feeling responsible or guilty for someone's suicide but never really makes the effort to do anything when they know a person that could be the next death.

 

[Greyhawk]

Yep, people will go on about how suicide is selfish and you should think about others. Same people that just wanna brush off the topic if it ever comes up and aren't willing to discuss about it. What they do is expect for you to keep on suffering and tormenting yourself because your death would be an inconvenience for them. Seems kind of ironic right?

 

[beyond.space]

hey, so i also feel guilty about it when i think about my close ones. i cant say i dont care what they would feel, but i think its ok for one time to make my wish more important than theirs. i actually believe suicide in itself is selfish, but people fail to understand that selfishness is not a bad thing here. you will totally make people suffer by attempting ctb, some will never forgive you, some will be forever traumatized (unfortunately), but it all comes down to this: it simply is not theirs to forgive. if they have enough empathy they could at least understand we wouldn't attempt ctb if we weren't suffering so much. even more so, it's our life, as well as our choice to refuse to be in it. its a thing you do for yourself and yourself only, a selfish thing, sure, but it may be the right choice at the right time, because just "living for others" doesnt suffice at all for a good enough reason to keep existing