Venting I hate the moment when the discord call ends

[picapica]

Nothing is better at distracting me than talking to my friends.
Theres been moments were I cut myself during calls with them being none the wiser, where I was pissdrunk or high while leading squads ingame because I couldnt bear it anymore, but 99% of the time I just feel so much better when Im with them.
And that makes the crash so much worse.
As soon as the game closes, the call ends and their voices fade, its like a breaking dam.
My thoughts smother me with renewed intensity. The contrast makes it so much worse.
Fuck man, I dont deserve these people. Im cringe and annoying, just unpleasant all around.
They shouldnt have to deal with me.

 

[MidnightDream]

I feel the same way
When I leave my friends, when I finish a game, movie, book or tv show, when anything ends really. I struggle with change

 

[picapica]

I feel the same way
When I leave my friends, when I finish a game, movie, book or tv show, when anything ends really. I struggle with change

It leaves this sudden emptiness behind. Before, there was this source of happiness, or excitement, and then its just gone. Cant be replaced either. Once the crash is there, the only way to deal for me is drugs or sleep.

 

[Skullinthewoods]

This is painfully relatable. I crave companionship and just can't seem to cope with being alone, even for a moment.

I'll be having a great time with a friend, but the moment they leave the door or end the call the distraction is gone, and all of the pain and misery in my mind swells up and smothers me once again and I feel terribly alone.

And what's worse, I retrospectively suddenly see so many issues with how I spoke or acted or looked and I feel overwhelming guilt for burdening them with my unbearable presence.

I feel you... it hurts.

 

[picapica]

This is painfully relatable. I crave companionship and just can't seem to cope with being alone, even for a moment.

I'll be having a great time with a friend, but the moment they leave the door or end the call the distraction is gone, and all of the pain and misery in my mind swells up and smothers me once again and I feel terribly alone.

And what's worse, I retrospectively suddenly see so many issues with how I spoke or acted or looked and I feel overwhelming guilt for burdening them with my unbearable presence.

I feel you... it hurts.

Oh man, the time spent afterwards essentially "grading" yourself is just the worst. Did I use the correct word in this sentence to convey exactly what I wanted to say? Was this a normal thing to say or did it make me seem unhinged or childish?
Hours spent obsessing over the smallest details from days, months, or years ago... its horrible.

At least now I know that Im not the only one with this problem. Makes me feel less crazy

 

[Regen]

I sometimes feel the same way. I think it is then in me this deep feeling of being abandoned and left alone. It feels like I'm crying alone in my room as a baby and no one comes. But actually I'm not the helpless baby anymore, I could run out of my room at any time and call someone else. Still, it feels existentially devastating. When it's very bad, the only thing that helps me is contact in at least the slightest form - radio, YouTube, going shopping, making phone calls, writing messages, I need to hear human voices, better yet talk to them briefly

 

[picapica]

I sometimes feel the same way. I think it is then in me this deep feeling of being abandoned and left alone. It feels like I'm crying alone in my room as a baby and no one comes. But actually I'm not the helpless baby anymore, I could run out of my room at any time and call someone else. Still, it feels existentially devastating. When it's very bad, the only thing that helps me is contact in at least the slightest form - radio, YouTube, going shopping, making phone calls, writing messages, I need to hear human voices, better yet talk to them briefly

I feel you, fear of abandonment is what dictates pretty much my entire life.
Its good that some kind of human contact helps you in that situation.

 

[qiuyu]

I feel the same. I pass time with books and movies. When I am watching or reading stuff I'm in another world I don't have to have worry about my life or face my anxiety. But when I am alone for one second bad thoughts will haunt me

 

[picapica]

I feel the same. I pass time with books and movies. When I am watching or reading stuff I'm in another world I don't have to have worry about my life or face my anxiety. But when I am alone for one second bad thoughts will haunt me

Escapism is wonderful

 

[CTB Dream]

Vry understand, mayb not same no like talk othre etc but vry know end thing make empty make sad etc real know feel, end call friend sad end game sad end event movie anything sad, that why life awful all end make sad, hug

 

[Scythe]

Ahh ye, this is definity relatable, I enjoy the company of my online friends, wish I can play with them more, but usually I just end up playing by myself for whatever reason.

 

[tystero]

At least you still have friends. Without school or a job, I'm only have my prison guards(parents) to talk to.

 

[hxppythxught]

this is very relatable, once calls end with my friends i feel so alone, like i have no deeper meaning. I feel so blank and empty after spending so long pretending to act like I'm okay to prevent them from worrying and asking if I'm okay. I want my friends to be happy even though I'm not, that might be selfish and i don't really care. I don't want to take away their happiness to make them worry about me, and i feel like if i vent to them with how i really feel they'll only talk down to me and treat me differently and I don't want that.