Venting I hate that my family loves me

[TheTranstarEngineer]

I love my family, but at this point I just feel like they're better off if I never existed, all I'm doing is causing them unnecessary stress and pain for what's inevitably going to end in my CTB. They've been nothing but good to me my whole life, and I love them for it, but I wish they saw me the same way I see myself, just a hindrance on everyone around me. I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't care about me.

 

[Sparr0w]

yeah, if i didn't know my family cared for me it'd be a hell of a lot easier to go out, i just wish i could ctb without them grieving me. i know it's impossible (unless i start being a massive dick) but i still wish they didn't care about me, or hated me, or were trash people, or something like that.

 

[Sulyya]

+1 to all of that.

When some people post here that 'your family is the cause of your suffering', maybe this is just one version of it. And even if they knew/know, there isn't really anything they can do about it. Would be a solution if they suddenly hated you but they can't do that.

 

[theboy]

yeah, if i didn't know my family cared for me it'd be a hell of a lot easier to go out, i just wish i could ctb without them grieving me. i know it's impossible (unless i start being a massive dick) but i still wish they didn't care about me, or hated me, or were trash people, or something like that.

x2

 

[Amakishiyo]

I don't care about my blood family at all and even then it's not as easy because I have other people that care about me or gave me support.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, it's understandable as to why you would hate that. I just think that it can potentially make the whole process of planning to die more difficult if one has people that they are leaving behind that have been good to them. I just wish that people wouldn't do the unnecessary thing of choosing to bring life here in the first place as it would prevent so much suffering, but anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom that you are searching for.