I hate that I’m still alive.

[DarkShadows]

I thought I'd die years ago but I'm still here. I've not achieved anything at all and all I do is rot away waiting until the day I finally do it. I so wish I did it years ago. Every year it gets worse but I'm still here. I don't know what it will be that will give me enough motivation to do it but I'd rather do it now instead of when my life is so much worse.

It's hard to leave everything behind. There are some things I like about life but there's this constant dissatisfaction, anxiety and despair. I know I will never be able to live a normal independent life. I will never be happy in life. I wish I could be like other people but I've known since I was young that I was different.

 

[DTA]

There's nothing wrong with being different.

Try focusing on the things you do like. Victor Frankl in his logotherapy approach found that when people actually had a goal to work towards their depression was seriously reduced. I think that's why focusing on art helped me so much.

What are the things you like?