I hate that a lot of people are going to find out about my death

[dolphin]

Hope this doesn't come off like "I'm so popular" but I guess you could say I have a lot of acquaintances and I know that it will be a big deal if people find out once it has happened ... I hate thinking about what is going to come after, funeral, embarrassing farewell messages, convos they might have with my parents ... this deters me from even ctbing almost ... I just would like my death to go unnoticed

 

[manderley]

I also would like my death to just go unnoticed. I hate the idea of people I know gossiping about me after I ctb, making assumptions about why I did it. When someone from my town ctb a few years ago, everyone was talking about it and were really judgemental, saying how selfish they were etc.

In the town where I grew up, everyone knows everyone. They don't know anything about what I'm up to now as I'm not on social media and I've moved away, but when I ctb the news will spread around my town. I wish I had control over who knows, it's none of their business anyway.

 

[Escaper Boy]

I also want to carefully consider the impact that I bring after suicide. I have big family who likes to gossip each other. If I ctb, it certainly will turn into big scandal in the family. My mother and siblings' good name will be "tainted" forever because I would be the first case of suicide in the whole family history. If possible, I would like to prevent that catastrophy.

Also, everyone is certainly going to push their judgmental opinions about me as if they actually know everything. This idea alone pisses me off. At the same time, I started not to care anymore what would people think. After all, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Who am I to control how other people behave? They are allowed to think however they please, and so do I.

 

[dolphin]

I also would like my death to just go unnoticed. I hate the idea of people I know gossiping about me after I ctb, making assumptions about why I did it. When someone from my town ctb a few years ago, everyone was talking about it and were really judgemental, saying how selfish they were etc.

In the town where I grew up, everyone knows everyone. They don't know anything about what I'm up to now as I'm not on social media and I've moved away, but when I ctb the news will spread around my town. I wish I had control over who knows, it's none of their business anyway.

Yep, I'm most worried about assumptions. Some people will definitely assume that it was impulsive (if they don't know the details about my death) which is irritating but I think that the people who knew me well would think otherwise. I guess that's what is important.

I also want to carefully consider the impact that I bring after suicide. I have big family who likes to gossip each other. If I ctb, it certainly will turn into big scandal in the family. My mother and siblings' good name will be "tainted" forever because I would be the first case of suicide in the whole family history. If possible, I would like to prevent that catastrophy.

Also, everyone is certainly going to push their judgmental opinions about me as if they actually know everything. This idea alone pisses me off. At the same time, I started not to care anymore what would people think. After all, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Who am I to control how other people behave? They are allowed to think however they please, and so do I.

Same, I have a big family and I know all my relatives are going to find out and it will just be terrible ...

 

[AmayB]

Same here.. wish it would just go unnoticed. I definitely do not want a funeral. Not many would attend and it would just be a waste of money. I hate to be a burden.. main reason for wanting to cbt.
And I don't want to taint the family name.
Wishing for an accident literally every day.

 

[Allpainnogain]

Try not to think about these things. You will be gone

 

[marcusuk63]

I just hate people

 

[EmotionlessWanderer]

Suicide shows the true colors of people around you. Who really and actually cared about you and who only kept you around to benefit them.

 

[21Neberg]

Suicide shows the true colors of people around you. Who really and actually cared about you and who only kept you around to benefit them.

I disagree I think. I think that when someone kills themselves, everyone shows everything besides their true colors. They'll all suddenly act like they cared, they'll all suddenly say they 'wished they could have done something to help' even though if they paid attention and cared for one minute in the past they would have seen that the person was not doing well at all.

Edit: it's this kind of fake sympathy that I despise and I already know exactly who is going to do it when I ctb :)

 

[Chalken]

I wish I could just be erased from existence and be forgotten or to never have existed in the first place. Alas, that's impossible. I as well think how everyone will react to my death. I keep imagining my parents and siblings at my funeral and it's the only thing holding me back.

 

[dolphin]

I disagree I think. I think that when someone kills themselves, everyone shows everything besides their true colors. They'll all suddenly act like they cared, they'll all suddenly say they 'wished they could have done something to help' even though if they paid attention and cared for one minute in the past they would have seen that the person was not doing well at all.

Edit: it's this kind of fake sympathy that I despise and I already know exactly who is going to do it when I ctb :)

I think it is a mix of both. I think that there are some people that I haven't spoken to in a long time/that have not reached out to me that I do think legitimately care and would express genuine grief.

 

[Fadingfast]

I've never thought about this.... I just assume they will blame it on my mental illnes, which is what I want. I do not want any person to blame their self for the act I'm about to carry out.

 

[JadedGray]

I guess I'm lucky in that regard. I don't have anyone in my life except my parents who already know I will do it. I don't expect anyone to notice when I'm gone, which is a blessing in disguise, since I want to be forgotten and for it to be like I never existed at all.

 

[soda_pressed]

I'm the opposite and I want people to know. Not because of attention seeking but whilst I have a lot of mental health issues, a lot of what I have been through in life is because of the callousness of other people. My family would care (and I love them) but that's it.

 

[Bärchen]

None would care except my mother and brother. I dont have any friends and at work you are forgotten after a day.

 

[Alchemist]

I'm so unpopular that only people here, my family, and my work will ever know. My funeral, because they're going to make one even against my wishes, will be emptier than Gatsby's.

 

[Ivenocare]

I am the same: cant kill myself due to family around... when they arent around it is easier to try and kill myself then my SI is in the way...

 

[SomebodyBroken]

I disagree I think. I think that when someone kills themselves, everyone shows everything besides their true colors. They'll all suddenly act like they cared, they'll all suddenly say they 'wished they could have done something to help' even though if they paid attention and cared for one minute in the past they would have seen that the person was not doing well at all.

Edit: it's this kind of fake sympathy that I despise and I already know exactly who is going to do it when I ctb :)

Well, I did something stupid and accidentally let out two friends. only one gathered to dissuade, but not for long) the other simply made my decision, as it should have been. About the help in solving the problem - nobody did anything and would not do it. people are too selfish. although both know what could be done to solve this problem, but it's too late (but they don't find out because they didn't try). on the one hand, it is a bit inconvenient that they will have other thoughts - on the other, why should I think about them if they did not want to think about me?) selfishness is a normal trait of people, but the main thing is not to aggravate.
(about other people in my environment, I am more than sure that 60% will discourage, 20% will simply accept the fact, 20% will laugh at unsuccessful attempts, yet I am not too good at performing even this, hehe)

I am the same: cant kill myself due to family around... when they arent around it is easier to try and kill myself then my SI is in the way...

Well, I have only one relative from the family (far away), but she will try to make me continue to live 100%. (and yes, my passion for video games hinders me, I've got stuck once again for a couple of days and my mood has changed. But I quickly returned back when I remembered the main reasons for my leaving)

 

[noonetoo]

Yes. Ugh, the problem here is the media. I would not want to be on the news. That would be embarrassing. Even if I'm dead, I wouldn't want people who hate me to feel some joy or grief that I'm finally gone.
And I've reached out for "help" to people and it really sucks when they act like they've done all they can except be a friend. I wouldn't want to impose on anyone's lives and make them feel like they could've done something. Well I'm here now... but people are always busy. I don't think I make sense. I just mean to avoid being a burden. Vanish peacefully.

 

[IronTusk]

Same

 

[CTB-London]

I think that, like it or not, an unnatural death will become known about within your family and friend / acquaintance circles.

I want people to know that I have died when my time comes so they don't think I am rejecting / ignoring them. I have in mind that family members should know the details (except young ones who should not know mt cause of death until later in life) and that my Facebook account be memorialised. This way those who have an interest in knowing will know.

 

[dolphin]

I think that, like it or not, an unnatural death will become known about within your family and friend / acquaintance circles.

I want people to know that I have died when my time comes so they don't think I am rejecting / ignoring them. I have in mind that family members should know the details (except young ones who should not know mt cause of death until later in life) and that my Facebook account be memorialised. This way those who have an interest in knowing will know.

Yes, there is no way that my death is going to fly under the radar unfortunately bc of my friend circles

 

[LastFlowers]

Yes. Ugh, the problem here is the media. I would not want to be on the news. That would be embarrassing. Even if I'm dead, I wouldn't want people who hate me to feel some joy or grief that I'm finally gone.
And I've reached out for "help" to people and it really sucks when they act like they've done all they can except be a friend. I wouldn't want to impose on anyone's lives and make them feel like they could've done something. Well I'm here now... but people are always busy. I don't think I make sense. I just mean to avoid being a burden. Vanish peacefully.

Yea that's one thing I'm trying to avoid. I do NOT want to be a news story, even the tiniest one.
And my god, if they showed my picture..well I think I'd rise from the dead, just so I could die a second time.

I did not want to do it inside my home, I don't want my room to be treated like a crime scene, but it seems that any "public" suicide is more likely to get attention. Or any suicide that is "interactive" or interferes with the general public.
Jumping in front of a train for instance.

 

[Ashpac]

Yeah it sucks these days, social media, technology, passports, CCTV, we cant escape from anything.

Even forensic detectives will be after you working out what your last few minutes were like.

Could you imagine a 1000 years ago, none of this stuff being around and just go on a nice mission as far as you could, on foot though, since only ships were around that time, and just hang in a forest, no social media or nothing. No one to read or see your death online.

* SIGH *

 

[CTB-London]

Yea that's one thing I'm trying to avoid. I do NOT want to be a news story, even the tiniest one.
And my god, if they showed my picture..well I think I'd rise from the dead, just so I could die a second time.

I did not want to do it inside my home, I don't want my room to be treated like a crime scene, but it seems that any "public" suicide is more likely to get attention. Or any suicide that is "interactive" or interferes with the general public.
Jumping in front of a train for instance.

You wouldn't be a news story unless you are in some way well known. There are countless thousands of suicides a year so they aren't news worthy.

 

[marcusuk63]

You wouldn't be a news story unless you are in some way well known. There are countless thousands of suicides a year so they aren't news worthy.

My local paper will print a story if you dont put your bin out on time ! I`m sure the OP ment the hometown rag and not the main tabloids

 

[Escaper Boy]

I am almost convinced that the local paper will post my suicide if my body is found. My concern is, are they going to show my face (the corpse) if I died and suffered cyanosis after ingesting SN? They obviously would blur my face if I died from nasty and gory train suicide, because the sight would be so traumatizing otherwise. I hope my face is still blurred on newspaper so my family won't know what happened.

 

[Deardaddy]

It's ok to be selfish for once. When life ends there will be no afterlife imo though some might like to have that thought.

 

[CTB-London]

My local paper will print a story if you dont put your bin out on time ! I`m sure the OP ment the hometown rag and not the main tabloids

These days things like suicides, drug ODs and accidental deaths are statistics rather than news stories.

 

[marcusuk63]

These days things like suicides, drug ODs and accidental deaths are statistics rather than news stories.

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/health/tragic-young-lives-lost-suicide-2421850 ....

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/new...rtbreak-property-developer-takes-life-2850191

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/new...ews/tragedy-heartbroken-hull-dad-ends-2062861
London is different to the rest of the country