I can be happy for short moments, Like when I get response from my family, exwife, welfare, seeing a movie.
And of course when I am here... The rest of the time I just wonder how and when I will make my exit.
One day I was kind of successfull with the partial hanging. I compressed my neck in the right way, and I saw
stars! Yeah! I was happy about that.
Right now I feel "happy". But I do have that permanent feeling of anxiety, apathy, worries hanging over me as
soon I stop what I am doing. But thats normal for most people here i think...